Looks like it's time to add another event to the Sean Avery Olympics:
Once again, it looks like Sean Avery's mouth has gotten him in trouble. But this time, instead of using his mouth to generate those juicy soundbites we can't live without, it appears he used it to arrange for someone to have sex with him for money.
I, for one, am shocked and disappointed. You expect this kind of thing from your elected officials and your Martin Sheen descendants. But professional athletes? It's heartbreaking.
And the fact that it's Sean Avery accused of soliciting prostitutes is especially painful. That a player known as much for his quiet humility as for his trademark stylish eyewear could be caught up in such sleaze is just appalling. I mean, next you're going to tell me that Todd Bertuzzi is rude to waitresses. I just don't want to believe it.
In fact, I don't believe it. Why should I? Avery denies the allegations outright, saying that it's likely the handiwork of his many enemies. In fact, I don't know why that wasn't the headline: "Avery Framed by Enemies." The Daily News is probably just afraid that these mysterious and powerful enemies will turn on them. After all, these shadowy figures are like chess grandmasters, seeing 10 or 20 moves ahead. Consider:
First they planted Avery's name and private cell phone number in the database of a prostitution ring. Then they arranged for a federal investigation to out Elliot Spitzer as a client of a different prostitution ring, knowing that the increased media attention in the wake of that scandal would lead to further digging into prostitution in general. Then they orchestrated the leak of database to the Daily News, and here we are.
Damn you, enemies of Sean Avery! I won't stand idly by while you smear one of the NHL's greatest heroes!
(Please remember this post if I ever get busted for hiring prostitutes. After a rousing defense like this, Avery's enemies have got to be plenty pissed at me, too.)