Tuesday, February 19, 2008

"S. Viets Capture Cambodia River Crossing"

Hey there.

Bruins looked good tonight against Carolina, especially on the penalty kill in the last five minutes. Lucic responded well by dropping the gloves when Savard took a knock.

Then the last 70 seconds happened.


I love the Bruins, but would it kill them to play some offense in the third period? Marco Sturm was playing kitty bar the door with 7 minutes left in the game on a four-on four with a two goal lead.

OK, maybe with a four goal lead that shit will fly, but not two.

Oh, and in case you're curious, the subject of this post was the second headline on the cover of the Boston Globe on the morning after the the last time the Bruins won the Stanley Cup.

OK, not the last time, that was 1972, but still.

The last time the Bruins won the Stanley Cup, Chris Chelios was ten.


At least we didn't bite it as hard as the Rangers.

Monday, February 18, 2008

OK- so here's an idea:

You know how it's totally fucking lame that the Southeast champion gets a bye into the playoffs despite potentially finishing with an record that wouldn't earn them a playoff spot in a more competitive division?

You know what I'm talking about. If not, read this.

It's pathetic.

Anyway, here's how we solve it.

If, at the end of the season, a conference champion fails to earn more points than the team occupying the ninth seed in the conference (all standard tie-breaking rules applying of course,) the conference champion and the ninth seed in the conference play a one game playoff for what would be the third seed currently occupied by the under-performing conference champion, who would be given home ice for winning their division.

If they have the ability to beat a team that is going to miss the playoffs anyway, well, great- a playoff team oughta be able to beat a non playoff team. Enjoy the first round. But if not, grab your golf bag Brind'Amour, cause you don't deserve to compete in the Stanley Cup playoffs. You wanna cry about it? Maybe you should have won that one goal game you blew in October. Cry me a fucking river.

This would be great, and for anyone who watched either of the last games of last year's regular season playoff races between Montreal and Toronto, or the Islanders against the Devils, when Wade Dubleivitz nobly clinched a playoff spot for the Isles while simultanelously breaking Toronto's heart, you know what I'm talking about.

Note: If you follow that link, it will take you to what I wrote after watching both of those games, in April of 2007. You will notice that I used those games as an opportunity to shit on:

a) The NHL on NBC
b) Bill Clement
c) Ty Conklin

I would like to set the record straight here, and say that both the NHL on NBC and Ty Conklin have been vastly improved this season, and as for Bill Clement, well, I haven't seen him much, which in my book is a vast improvement. It's not that I hate seeing Bill Clement anywhere, I just hated seeing him everywhere.

Actually, fuck that.

Any hockey announcer who says "Enjoy the Preakness" as a Stanley Cup Playoff game is going into overtime deserves to be keelhauled.

Either way, I digress.

That one game playoff is the way to go.


I really can't get enough of these week old Zednik fantasy player previews:

Here's another sweet one, this time from Janet Eagelson (I'll go ahead and assume there's no relation to Alan):

Richard Zednik, LW, Florida (0.65 percent owned) – I never thought I'd be ever be touting the name of this underachieving, injury-prone Slovakian speedster. But in the last week, he has exploded with torpedo-like ferocity on opposing netminders and his efforts have earned him playing time alongside Rollie Pollie Olie. Ooops, wrong children's hero – Olli Jokinen, I mean. Zednik is on a three-game, seven-point streak heading into Saturday's game against Boston and his confidence is soaring. He could be a short-term position fill for what's been ailing you. Just be ready to cut him when he starts slipping back into his typical unimaginative play.


"Just be ready to cut him?"

Sounds like "Rollie Pollie Olie" took her at her word.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

There has been blood.

There's been a lot of hoopla around the National Hockey League this week, about the skate cutting incidents, both the horrifying (Richard Zednik) and the unfortunate (Linesman Pat Dapuzzo.)

Predictably, this has started the avalanche of easy hockey articles proclaiming that "next time we won't be so lucky" and that "something has to be done."

Well, to leave the Zednik issue aside for a moment, I'll tell you what can be done. Get at least one of the officials off the ice. All season, I have seen inconsistent officiating, holding, hooking, tripping and interference calls that when they go my team's way I'll shrug and say- "jeez- OK, I'll take it," and when they go against my team, I say "goddamn, really? That was a penalty?" But ultimately, If I were a player, I'd really have no idea how to behave out there.

Dapuzzo's injury was extreme and unfortunate, and I don't mean to specifically blame him for anything, especially considering that after the incident, he admirably attempted to keep doing his job, skating over to break up a fight, displaying a "keep doing your job until the whistle blows" attitude that fewer and fewer players are exhibiting these days, in large part thanks to the inconsistent calls.

So while I certainly don't want to criticize Dapuzzo, I will say this- he was in the way, and was by no means the first official to be in the way this season. I have seen a lot more plays broken up when pucks hit official's feet or they just can't get out of the play in time this season. The officials do a great job getting out of the way most of the time, but with an extra official on the ice, there really is only just so much room out there. And if the officiating was actually better with the extra official, I'd never say a word. But it's not. It's worse, and now linesman are getting slashed across the face with skates? Let's have fewer zebras out there, and let the boys play hockey.

As for Zednik, as horrible as it was to see it, and as pleased as all of us are that it seems he will make a full recovery, I'd like to make a small point, one that is mentioned extremely rarely, about the selling of this game.

The game of hockey, as fast and skilled as it is, is played while ice skating. It sounds stupid to write it like that, because, well- duh, but honestly, ice skating is an activity which, if you take away the sticks, pucks, pads, hitting and goals, is the basis for numerous other competitive, extremely difficult Olympic sports.

Just ice skating at an elite level is fucking hard.

Speed Skating, Figure Skating, in singles or pairs, it's a remarkable skill.

One of the reasons that we are so horrified when someone is cut by a skate blade in a hockey game is because these athletes are so adept, so skilled, so masterful at getting around, stopping, turning and performing astounding acts of artistry WHILE ICE SKATING, it's easy to forget that they are on ice skates at all. These guys are incredible skaters, and when someone's throat is cut by a skate, either in Zednik's or Malarchuck's case, we are reminded of that fact instantly, as though the life threatening danger emerged from absolutely nowhere, and we had forgotten that oh yeah- these guys are playing this fast, thrilling, exciting sport on a sheet of actual ice, with 16 inch, razor sharp knives strapped to their feet.

That's impressive as hell to me, and worth mentioning to anyone who tells you that the hardest thing to do in professional sports is to hit a baseball.

In other news, I'm going to the Senators/Devils game tomorrow with my buddy Pat. I'm going to keep an especially close eye on the newly reunited Heatley, Alfredsson, Spezza line.

Among other things, they are amazing fucking ice skaters.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Good call, Rotowire.

From Rotowire, the fantasy hockey tip sheet on Richard Zednik, who is in stable condition after getting his throat slit open by a skate on a game on February 10th:

Feb 9 Zednik scored twice Saturday to extend his point streak to four games and nine points.

Recommendation: He has six goals and three helpers in the streak and is worthy of a waiver grab right now. Just be prepared to drop him when he freezes up -- it's not a matter of if it'll happen but when.


Jeez, Rotowire guy- you slash your carteroid artery, and see if you don't "freeze up."


How about that for Karma?

Seemingly minutes after my last post, in which I expressed regrets and sincere wishes for the speedy recovery of Richard Zednik, I am given a gift, to put this blog back on it's course of juvenile mockery:

Two members of the Montreal Canadiens arrested, one of them for, purse snatching.

I'm sure it was just a big misunderstanding.

They probably just thought it belonged to Kovalev.

That's the last time-

-I ever wish ill on Richard Zednik.

In my last post, after he put up two on the Bruins, I asked "Where's Kyle McLaren when you need him," in reference to the time McLaren almost took his head off in the 2003 playoffs.

For those who haven't see the clip, last night, Zednik was cut in the throat by a skate in what seemed like a harmless play. He's in stable condition, thank God. Apparently it was a pretty gruesome scene, as this TSN photo of the crowd's reaction shows.

Here's the YouTube of the incident, particulary chilling that it happened in Buffalo, where they have some experience with that. When one of the announcers says he's never seen that much blood," his partner responds by saying "sadly, I have," clearly a reference to the Clint Malarchuk incident. (non-explicit link)

We goof around here a lot, and jokingly wish bumps and bruises on a lot of players we love to root against, but when something like this happens, that all stops. No true hockey fan would ever wish any serious injury against any hockey player, ever.

All of our best to Zednick and his family.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Friday, February 08, 2008


What has happened to hockey fans in this country?

Zdeno Chara was booed all night by the Buffalo Sabres fans, I guess, because he's tall?

Seriously, what gives?

I've seen this around the league a little bit, even from (gasp) Canadian teams, who oughta know better. Of course, they weren't booing Chara because he's tall, they are booing him because I guess, they perceive him to be the Bruins best player. Let's be clear here: being good at hockey is no reason to boo a guy. If he's killed you in the playoffs, if he's famous for taking dives, if he's named Mike Ribero, OK- boo away. But just booing becuase he's good makes you look stupid.

Speaking of which, I was a bit upset to hear that Scott Niedermeyer was booed every time he touched the puck on his first return to New Jersey.

Sure, he left to go and play with his brother, but- jeez, Devils fans- you're gonna boo Scott Niedermeyer?



Monday, February 04, 2008


What an Upset!

What a comeback!

congrats, guys!

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Goddamnit, Bruins.

You played such a great first period, and then what do you do?

Slowly, but surely, lose to the Detroit Red Wings.

I guess I can't be too mad at you guys, I mean, shit- who beats the Red Wings? Not a lot of teams this year, that's for sure.

Still, it woulda been nice.

But I'l tell ya, when you give up the go ahead goal to that team in the third period, never has a one goal lead seemed so insurmountable.

There was a bittersweet moment when the local Bruins broadcast showed the Red Wings record since they were bought by the Ilitch's.

Total turnaround.

And I know that Wings fans are pretty upset about all the early round playoff exits, but there's three cups there, and a consistently great product to watch, year in, year out.


How about those Patriots?

Friday, February 01, 2008

I'll tell ya this-

The Ottawa Senators without two of their best players are not the Ottawa Senators that I know.

If anybody doubts this, ask a Buffalo Sabres fan.

But still- boyoboy, the Bruins played a hell of a game.

They were definatley a little sloppy with the turnovers in the third period, but you can't argue with Phil Kessel scoring early, Milan Lucic getting rewarded for going to the goddamn net with power, and of course, Marc Savard taking advantage of a turnover with a nice goal.

Also, it was fun to listen to former Bruin Gary Galley doing an exemplary job doing color for the Senators broadcast.

Any longtime Bruins fan had to be happy hearing him mentioning Milan Lucic in the same breath as Cam Neely, and after a nice save by Tim Thomas, mentioning that back in the day, Reggie Lemelin and Andy Moog used to say "Give us three goals and we'll win for you."

Are these Bruins as good as the Bruins of the late 80s?

Not yet.

But they're getting there.

With Julien's system in place and a few guys back from injury, they could surprise some teams in April, that's for sure.

Speaking of the late 80s, anybody else notice a member of the Pittsburgh Penguins throwing a knee-on-knee hit on another team's superstar?

Nice work, Jarko Ruutu.

Way to maintain the traditions of the franchise.