Thursday, June 08, 2006

Oh my God.

Last night's blowout, and now this .

Anybody know the mailing address of the Phoenix Coyotes?

Cause I'm mailing them a turd.

ULF SAMUELSSON ON YOUR COACHING STAFF?!!!

For those of you out there who don't know who Ulf Samuelsson is, he's the dirtbag ex-Penguins defenseman whose dirty hit hastened the end of the career of Cam Neely. Let me put this in perspective. If I saw Ulf Samuelsson 50 years from today in a Swedish nursing home, I'd pull the cane out of his lap, jack it into spokes of his wheelchair, and push him down the stairs. Then, as he lay helpless and muttering at the bottom of the stairs, the warm liquid he felt dripping onto his neck would not be blood. It would be urine.

My urine.

I hate that bastard, and while pissing on his battered corpse might fall into the realm of hyperbole, I can tell you that I am a grown man, with responsibilities. If I were in Phoenix, and I knew where the practice arena was, I would DEFINATLEY key that bastard's car.

What is Ulf Samuelsson possibly going to teach young defensemen?

Advanced turtleing?
How to hit a star player from behind, knock him out of the game and then the next time you play that team mysteriously come down with, as Derek Sanderson used to say "The Swedish flu?"

Jesus.

I just can't believe Gretzky would do this.

I mean, what are the odds?

Maybe I'll ask his wife.

2 comments:

Doogie2K said...

Really. I mean, why not just sign Bryan Marchment?

Anonymous said...

Don't deny the fact that Ulf was DOMINANT for the PENS! You must be a Hartford Whalers fan and are still bitter about the trade that brought him, Ron Francis, and two cups to the BURGH!