Lord Stanley's Officially Licensed Merchandise

Reporting back from the opening of the NHL store, where I encountered Ben and Ritch wiping the sweat from their brows after a couple of hours spent storing away things the NHL has done wrong for a rainy day (even Bruins and Devils fans run out of vitriol after their record falls to a certain point). I could almost see the exhaustion on their faces. However, they did get there early enough to snag the bag of free shit, while all I made away with was a possible key to my dreams and a rocket popsicle. Nothing like knowing that the Marketing department at the NHL sat down for a brainstorm for their big event and conclusively determined that NHL fans like "free ice".

Though the lines to the "Unlock your Dreams" safes (they have two sets of my dreams on hand) were shockingly long- unfulfillment in New York City knows no bounds-the line to get into the store was bearable, and we sailed through in about 15 minutes. Even more surprising, while the line to buy a t-shirt that says "It's good to have goals" was about twenty deep, the line to see and be photographed with the Stanley Cup was exactly one person long, and we took the opportunity to grope the Cup like it was Ben's mom for a full 30 seconds. Odd to be so excited to touch something that you can pretty much guarantee has held the urine of a solid four dozen people at least, but it's just so shiny.

And for a little added perspective, the hands that type the very words you're reading have touched the Stanley Cup more recently than the Bruins.