Thursday, March 08, 2007

I just saw an ad for Chili's-

-in which a group of young hip partiers sat down for a meal at Chili's, and one of them confidently says "I could work at Chili's- I'm pretty good on the grill."

His friends look at each other incredulously. One of their expressions says:

"What!? How could a mortal man, without putting in the years of time and training, possibly ascend the mountain of culinary excellence that is Chili's?"

And another friend's expression, slightly angrier this time, seems to say:

"Does this dickhead think he can actually flip a burger, put a slice of cheese on it , and pour mushrooms, onion sauce AND salsa over it when completed? Challenge not the Gods young Icarus, for you shall fly too high to the sun!"

Sensing their doubt, he tries another tack-

"Oh- I can cook!"

Again, his friend's eyes roll, this time to the eyes of their waitress, who shares a "what a deluded asshole" look with them. Even she knows the truth.

They all laugh.

I was really hoping the commerical would keep going for 10 more seconds so the guy could say- "No, seriously, It's not that hard. You just read the shit off of these laminated cheat sheets they have pinned behind the grill. I know the guy who works here. In addition to this fry-cook gig, he sells crystal meth out of his van behind the restaurant. I heard him talking about how he once put together both a Mesquite Chicken Salad and a Southwestern Cobb while getting a handjob from a single mother. So, you know- go fuck yourselves. By the way, are you gonna finish those poppers? They came here frozen in a truck from Cleveland. You know that, right?"

Games to watch tonight?

Rangers-Islanders.

Might not a sellout but it'll definitely be a war.

Also, Penguins and Devils clash in what could be a playoff preview, and thanks to this bizarre schedule, marks Brian Rolston's return to Boston for the first time since signing with Minnesota, what- 3 years ago? He was a fan favorite, and if there's a crowd at the new Garden, I bet they give him a nice welcome.I also bet he scores a shorthanded goal.

They really should hold a charity all-star game pitting the players that the Islanders let walk out of town for a song against the ones the Bruins did. Come to think of it, the Blackhawks could put a pretty strong team on the ice for that contest as well.

Oh, and speaking of bad ads, anybody else sick of watching those Goddamn Rock-em sock-em robots Dodge ads on Versus? OK- I get it, hockey, you have exactly one corporate sponsor.

If they'd branch out a little, I wouldn't even mind watching another Chili's ad.

4 comments:

vh2k6 said...

that rangers/islanders game is being broadcast on yahoo too.

Anonymous said...

as an applebee's employee, I was rolling on the ground.

vh2k6 said...

Chris Simon is a fuckhead

John said...

haha... i HATE that commercial. right now they play it after every 30 second segment on foxnews.com.... i feel like killing myself.

i will definitely NOT go to Chilis.