Birth of an American Hockey Fan Week Six: Classic Clips

1970 Stanley Cup clincher by Bobby Orr

The nine year-old girl in me is simply delighted by this clip. Fathers out there, if you’re trying to raise a young American Hockey Female of your own, I’d start with this clip, and go light on the Bobby Orr/Stanley Cup background explanation. Simply point your young blossom at the screen, press play, and say “Look, hockey players can fly!” She’ll either fall in love with the sport, or become deeply suspicious of Canadians.

Stevens flattening Lindros

OK, whoever described this as a “flattening” and got my hopes up, you need to leave the commune more often, hippie. I’ve thrown harder punches than that at Ann Taylor Loft.

Yzerman’s Double OT goal

Without having seen the first seventy or so minutes of this game, and having spent nearly that long figuring out how one would pronounce “Yzerman”, all I can muster up is this: “Great shot”.

Pronger’s pass to Karya through Lemieux’s legs

This one was suggested by Ritch himself, in an attempt to turn a green young hockey fan against a hockey legend who led his country to a gold medal despite a debilitating hip injury. You’d think as a Bruins fan you’d try to stay away from all bad karma-inducing practices, but hey, to each his own.

Lemieux Turtles

A newbie’s thought process on this clip, entitled “Claude ‘Turtle’ Lemieux” by YouTube:

“Jesus, how many Lemieuxs are there? It kind of contradicts the name.”“
Why is this one named Turtle?”
“Ah. Gotcha.”

Brett Hull’s 1999 Stanley Cup goal

Upon careful review, I really believe there are a lot of factors that need to be taken into account here, beyond the contested shot. For starters, the logic behind the seemingly arbitrary distinction of three consecutive shots constituting possession. Second, there’s the matter of crowd mentality having a major affect on officials during the review of footage, adding a strong element of human error to what should be a fair and balanced decision. Third…fuck it. HE WAS IN THE CREASE.NO GOAL.*

* I may be new enough to the Sabres booster club to be somewhat objective, but have you seen the size/BAC of some of those fans? I’m not stupid.

It’s weird, the thing that people love most about hockey(Excluding Ritch, whose #1 most enjoyed attribute is “the unfailing heartbreak provided by Boston-area teams")—the fact that the tide of the game can change at any second—is the exact thing that makes it somewhat dull to watch the classics in clip form. Without the investment provided by three hours spent absorbing yourself in the game, and without any particularly strong anti-communist stance, it’s hard to get jazzed for any singular outcome to most of these games/clips. Go figure.

Birthing Status: Trying to Remember my Lamaze Breathing