Monday, May 08, 2006

In the words of San Jose Sharks captain Patrick Marleau:

"I like whatever brings the meat loaf to the table."

That's right.

Patrick Marleau likes whatever brings the meat loaf to the table, and said so in response to a question asking him if he preferred hitting to scoring.

OK- while I don't really know what the hell he's talking about either- I love this for several reasons:

1) Patrick Marleau is a multi-millionaire, first round draft pick, captain of his team and a leader of men, and here he is talking about Meat Loaf. The man could have, and deserves, filet mignon, but he wants Meat Loaf. Why could this be? Well for one thing, there just ain't a lot of filet mignon in Aneroid, Saskatchewan, the village where Marleau is from. Not to put too fine a point on it, but the website I got Aneroid's population info from is a site called e-podunk.com. Oh, and as for the info itself, as of the year 2001, Aneroid had a population of 56. Not fifty-six thousand- Fifty-six. As in people. Just to put that in perspective, that means that when Patrick Marleau was drafted in 1997 and moved out of Aneroid, the total population dropped by almost 2 percent. If that kind of population dent were to happen in New York City, the San Jose Sharks would need to have stretched their #1 draft pick out to select 160,000 people, or roughly the entire population of the Lower East Side and Chinatown, which would have been stupid, cause none of those people can skate worth a damn.

2) This metaphor is cloudy- at best. I mean- what is the "meat loaf" in this scenario? Is it the Stanley Cup? Is it winning the game or the series? is it just dominating the play? We don't know. And what's in a meat loaf anyway? ground beef? pork? Worcestershire sauce? And where is the "Table" that the loaf is drawn closer too with each of Marleau's big goals or hits? Is it San Jose? The Shark Tank? While I don't know the answer to any of these questions, I know I'm getting hungry.

3) Patrick Marleau, is himself- meat loaf. While this is certainly not what he meant when he said it, the comparison is apt: Both Meat Loaf and Marleau can be accuratley described using the same two words: underrated and awesome. Meat Loaf is a down-home, unpretentious staple of a foodstuff that is great hot, but if you don't want to finish it for dinner, well, throw it between some bread and have a killer sandwich for lunch the next day. The kids might not like it as much as the foods with the flashier packages, but let them cry and wail if they don't get that box of sugar-coated Cheechoos, their mom knows that Meat Loaf is what's for dinner.

4) If I had tickets to the shark tank tonight, I'd buy a package of ground beef and pitch it on the ice for Marleau. Detroit had their octopus , and Mellanby had his Rat Trick, but those times are past, and it's time for a new tradition. So belly up Sharks fans and get ready throw throw some beef- it's time you gave the Captain his meat loaf.

Just make sure it’s still good. They don’t like to waste food in Aneroid.

4 comments:

Ben said...

I suspect he was probably talking about a different kind of Meat Loaf altogether. And who wouldn't want to bring him to the table?

I know that if I were able to bring Meat Loaf to my table, I would ask him how he liked coaching girl's softball at a high school a few towns over from where I grew up. My guess is that he liked it just fine. Just fine, indeed.

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Anonymous said...

I live an hour from Aneroid, Saskatchewan, and it's a neat village. During it's centennial this year, I toured the closed school. I got info from the people there, that Patrick Marleau actually attended school in Kincaid which is two towns over. Aneroid also has a neat church near the school, an old blacksmith shop, and a grain elevator.