Friday, May 05, 2006

There was no hockey last night.

Yep- no hockey at all.

It was like- what was it like?

Oh-I know!


OK, it wasn't that bad. I mean, not only will there be some great hockey on tonight, but there also isn't a piece of crap calling itself a Star Wars movie about to come out, raising my expectations then throwing a glass of hot urine in the face of my childhood memories.

Let's be honest, 2005 sucked.

Lemme put it this way: If you time traveled back to 1991 and told the 17 year old version of me that not only had the Stanley Cup playoffs been cancelled in 2005, but there were three new Star Wars movies out that all totally sucked; well- I'm not sure how I would have reacted.

It wouldn't have been good.

By the time you told me that Ray Bourque had won the Stanley Cup by joining the Quebec Nordiques, (who had since moved to another city and become the best team in the NHL) and that Metallica was in a documentary film where they all went to therapy and just talked about their feelings for two hours, I would have stabbed you in the throat with a ball point pen just to make the lies stop.

And as you used your last breath to gurgle the information that the President's name was STILL George Bush, and we were at war in Iraq AGAIN, I would have grabbed the pen and twisted it, snapping your windpipe and filling it with blood before you could even get to the information that this man had been elected governor of California.

I mean, for fuck's sake- I was a decent kid, but that's a lot to take, all at once like that.

No worries though, I'm OK with all that now.


So- anybody out there also think Buffalo has a chance?

I hate to say it, but I'm kinda...well, rooting for them.

Just don't tell my 1991 self.
He's got a lot on his plate right now.

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