Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Is someone in the kitchen (with Dinah)?

Because there sure is plenty of room, what with Ray Emery apparently magnetically unable stay anywhere in the vicinity of his net. Don't get me wrong--I'm rooting for the Sens to go for the win, as I refuse to believe that the Ducks have any relevance to the sport of hockey--but come on, man. We get it. You're a different kind of goalie. You can handle the puck. You're not afraid to fight. You've overcome a hardscrabble upbringing in Cayuga, Ontario (town motto: "Sorry for any inconveniences experienced while you were here, eh?") to play professional hockey. Now get your ass back in that crease like you're being goddamn overpaid to do.

This doesn't mean the Ducks didn't deserve their win last night. They recovered from an embarassing first period, they made sure that the fire beneath Andy McDonald's ass was kept on at a constant temperature, and most of all, when the puck came in the direction of their net, their goalie was not only nearby, but he used his hands and body to prevent it from going in. It was actually a pretty exciting game, thanks to a running theme of sloppy punches and general assholery (also, Rob Niedermayer's fear-inspiring beard), but an end result is an end result, and this one made Tim Horton cry.

As for the shock of finding the game on primetime network TV where actual human beings might be able to watch it, all I could think was that any aliens intercepting broadcasts transmissions from NBC last night would have come away thinking either "That Pronger sure sounds like a dick" or "Although this is our first encounter with the planet Earth and this sport they call hockey, it is quite apparent that this Don Cherry character is both past his prime and batshit insane"


Flippy said...

I love batshit insane Don Cherry. I love the way he loves the game, and I enjoy watching just to hear how many names he'll mispronounce or if he'll ever stop calling Ponikarovsky "Poharsky". Of course, it helped that when I started to like hockey, my favorite player was Tie Domi, and Don loves him some Tie Domi.

It was nice having Don on, because I hate having to listen to the American announcers trying to make the game sound exciting. I miss my Center Ice w/ my CBC or TSN broadcasts. Although, I also like the Thrashers announcers for some reason.

Mike Emrick's screaming drives me crazy, and Pierre McGuire needs a puck in the mouth to shut him up. Then, we can just show the CBC broadcast on NBC, and everybody is happy. Or, I'm happy, and that's what matters.

will said...

you do not diss grapes. you do not.

the thrashers call-guys suck some serious zwhsqz*.

* - that was the word verification combo i got for this comment.