Glen Sather's off the wagon.

Well, how long did he last?

How many long months, how many meetings did he attend?

I can see it now:

INT: A church basement, New York, NY sometime in late 2005. Pictures of Bill Guerinon the Stars, Marty Lapointe on the Bruins and Sergei Federov on the Ducks cover the walls with the slogan "DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!" A crowd of overweight, whitehaired Canadians are assembled in wooden folding chairs. GLEN SATHER, GM of the New York Rangers approaches the podium, clears his throat and begins to speak.

GLEN SATHER: "Hi- I'm Glen, and I'm a free agent-a-holic"

ASSEMBLED GM'S: "HI, GLEN"!

GLEN SATHER: I Don't know how it started, I mean, I used to be with the Edmonton Oliers in the 1980's, and I mean- we just couldn't lose.Those players, that squad- they had to put it in their own net to lose cups. I had them once, and when it ended, I needed to get the team back together. I needed it. I got to New York, and once I saw how pretty Messier looked in Ranger blue... and that all it took was money, not even MY money, well- I, I just had to have them. All of them.
(Sobs are heard from the audience. Sather pauses as several GM's attend to a visibly distraught Bobby Clarke)

BOBBY CLARKE: I know. I know...(inaudible as sobs increase)

But I got better. I hit bottom, we locked out the players, got the financial setup we wanted, actually a financial system better than we could even have dreamed. I kept a star player and surrounded him with youth and members of his home country. And now, coming up on the Olympic break, it seems the Rangers are approaching respectability. Of course, both myself and this organization could never have gotten to this point without the help and support of both my higher power, my sponsor and the wisdom I gain from these meetings.

ASSEMBLED GM'S: KEEP COMING!

GLEN SATHER: Thank you. Thank you all. One day at a time.

FLASH FORWARD TO JULY, 2006. SATHER IS IN FRONT OF THE TELEVISION, WATCHING A REPEATED LOOP OF ZDENO CHARA PULLING ON A BRUINS JERSEY. HIS HANDS ARE SHAKING. HE TAKES A LARGE DRINKING GLASS OFF THE SHELF, AND FILLS IT TO THE TOP WITH SCOTCH, WHICH HE HANDILY DRAINS. HE PICKS UP THE PHONE AND DIALS.

GLEN SATHER: Hi- Is this Brendon Shanahan? Glen Sather- New York Rangers. Do I have an deal for you....