Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Predictions: Pittsburgh Versus Ottawa

Well, I'm not even going to waste my time on this one.

I hate the Penguins.

Always have, probably always will.

I say probably, because you never know- maybe one day Sidney Crosby and Mario Lemieux will step away from hockey and create a foundation that discovers the cures for AIDS, Cancer, and Ice Cream headaches. They will team up and use their remarkable skills of ceaselessly bitching and whining to officials to harang the higher ups of the World Health Organization to finally cure these awful diseases.

Actually, they could do that, and while I might have a higher opinion of them as citizens of the world, I'd still hate the Penguins. Even after all of that, I'd have a bunch of unprotected sex with strangers, shoot a little heroin with the shared needles of drug addicts, smoke a carton of cigarettes, and eat an entire tub of Breyers Mint Chocolate chip ice cream in 2 minutes flat, all without risk to my heath or well being, and have absolutely no problem whatsoever sitting down in front of the TV and LOVING watching the Penguins lose.

Jesus, I hate that team.

Either way, the Sens are damaged goods, and the Ottawa coach is rallying the troops by claiming that the Penguins threw their last game in order to face them.

Nice strategy dude.

Not only will publicly demeaning your team not really work to rally your guys, but it's probably 100 percent true, which makes it worse. Either way, it doesn't change the fact that even with a healthy Daniel Alfredsson, that team would be fucked. And they don't have Daniel Alfredsson.

I'm no happier about it than you are, but it is what it is.

I mean, Christ.

You know I'm right about this.


Pittsburgh in 5

1 comment:

Tapeleg said...

Yeah, good call. Ice cream headaches suck. Word.