I'm on the Sportsnet Canada NHL page today, checking in to see if there have been any big trades today, and what do I see but this contest sponsored by McDonald's.
Apparently, you go to McDonald's, buy a Big Mac, and get a chance to win tickets to an NHL playoff game, a home opener next season, the all star game (big deal) and I think the NHL awards show.
Fuck Morgan Spurlock, I'll eat a Big Mac for that.
So here's the rub (from the OFFICIAL RULES):
HOW TO OBTAIN A GAME PIECE
In Restaurant: Game Pieces are available when purchasing one of the specially marked food items, while supplies last, at participating McDonald's restaurants in Canada.
Only in Canada?
And you wonder why the game isn't catching on here in the States. If there is one thing Americans unquestionably adore, it's stuffing our faces with fast food. And yet the NHL can't seem to extend some that action even as far south as Michigan?
Excuse me as I once again gently place this needle upon a well-worn broken record, but Bettman, you are a prize hog of morons.
Of course, that got me wondering, what does McDonald's have to offer us here in America? As it happens, not much in the way of contests. Still, after surfing around their website for a while I found a few things that are definately worth a look. Anybody familiar with McDonald's tremendously tasteful (read: borderline racist) mini-websites designed to appeal (read: pander to?) the African-American and Asian Communities?
If you're like me, that is to say, a fan of gold medal examples of the unique brand of horseshit that results from a combination of clueless corporate culture, niche-marketing disguised as sensitivity and white-hot fear of racial discrimination lawsuits, these websites are kinda wonderful to behold.
I present to you now, courtesy of the Clown himself, the McDonald's marketing websites 365Black and I am Asian.
I've you've got so much goddamn love for minorities in this country, how about throwing a bone to an American Hockey Fan!
Either way, it's after 2:00 and I need some lunch.
Guess what I WON'T be having?