Sunday, January 25, 2009

A moment of silence

Now that Zdeno Chara has broken the record in the NHL's Hardest Shot competition, this may mark the last All Star Game where we see the archival footage of the great Al Iafrate, who held the previous record for 16 long years. This is a significant loss, not because Iafrate's achievement has finally been surpassed, but because future generations will have no way of knowing how fucking ridiculous his haircut was:

Look at that goddamn thing. A terrifying hybrid of male pattern baldness, used-car-salesman-combover, and permed mullet...all held together with more oil than you'd find in Dick Cheney's stock portfolio.* I mean, he may have been the only guy in the league who supported the helmet rule for non-safety-related reasons.

It's too bad that Al has hung up the the age of the Honda Bridgestone ScotiaBank Upper Deck McDonald's Cisco Gatorade Dr. Scholl's Haagen Dazs Pamprin John Deere Verizon Playskool Super Skills Competition, I'm sure Al could have cut himself quite a lucrative deal with the good people over at Dapper Dan.

And just to cover my bases...please Lord, don't let him find this, read it, track me down, and fire a 105 mile-an-hour puck at my nuts.

*no longer VP, but still a valid reference!

1 comment:

jamestobrien said...

Mark Recchi and Ryan Getzlaf have 80s metal hair compared to Iafrate.