The Ducks are Lame

OK, here's why I hate the Ducks, in easy-to-digest (and more importantly, easy-to-write) bulleted list form:

• I don't like it when a team loads up on superstars. Having Scott Niedermayer and Chris Pronger on the same power play is a little much, wouldn't you say? I mean, come on. And of course:



• I don't like that Scott Niedermayer left the Devils for the Ducks, just so he could play with his brother. And what I don't like about that is that a) it's an unimpeachable reason to leave a team, and b) it has resulted in no Scott Niedermayer on the Devils. By the way, it's at least good to see that while the sweater has changed, the passionless, robotic demeanor has not. Hey, Scotty, you're finally playing with li'l Robby just like you wanted...crack a smile, for Christ's sake.



• I don't like the way they gave Niedermayer the C just for signing. He's got no history with the team, no proven leadership abilities (even when in Jersey)...he's just scary talented. But fitness for the captaincy is something that's demonstrated on AND off the ice, and to make that decision before you even get to know a guy is lame. The Rangers did the same thing with Jagr. This is not a sales contest, and the C is not a Cadillac El Dorado. Lame.



• I don't like J.S. Giguere. I think he's a mediocre goalie with an irritatingly dated nickname and more padding than Alberto Gonzalez's resume. Seriously, I haven't seen shoulders that bulky since The Golden Girls. The fact he won the Conn Smythe over Marty Brodeur (or ANY Devil) in 2003 is laughable.





Only he ain't laughin'.



• I don't like that they think they're no longer the MIGHTY Ducks. Guys, you're not fooling anyone. The ghost of Joshua Jackson still haunts that dressing room, and we all know it.

So there you have it. Go Sens Go, I guess. Frankly, I haven't been this enthusiastic about picking a side since the '04 presidential election.