Monday, May 14, 2007

Hey Luggage Express!

How about this?

If I agree to um, use you guys to ship my luggage someplace- instead of, you know, BRINGING IT WITH ME ON MY TRIP, will you stop subjecting me to NBC and Versus announcers opening every single game of the Stanley Cup playoffs by saying what sounds like "call 866 SHITBAG!"

Seriously.

Knock it off, already.

I know, it's "1 866 ship bag," or whatever, but it certainly doesn't sound that way especially when your mind is all amped up for the start of a playoff hockey game.

Let's put it this way- if I were Major League Baseball, and a company called "Below.com" or something, that was good at, oh I don't know, giving me an insurance estimate that was below my normal rate, I might suggest that if our announcers had to say the phone number out loud while children were watching, maybe it should be something besides"1- 866 BELOW ME."

Say it out loud if you're confused.

Just for kicks, I just dialed "1 866 Shitbag" and when a woman picked up, I asked if they were a luggage company. She sounded nice, and told me I had dialed a private residence, and confirmed that it was a toll free number. As she didn't seem to be a shitbag, I didn't have the courage to ask if she had intentionally picked that word as her home phone number.

Come to think of it, if anybody was the shitbag in that scenario, it was me.

Too bad the number's taken.

Would've been a sweet AHF hotline.

1 comment:

will said...

are you KIDDING!? i make sure i'm tuned in by the drop of the first puck for every game just to hear them say "shitbags," and giggle. i need something when my favorite team is playing passionless playoff hockey for 58 minutes each night.