As fans of hockey on any level know, there is nothing so important to team chemistry as the nickname. I always imagine a sacred ritual in the dressing room like the scene from Animal House, where Belushi is randomly assigning noms de frat to the new pledges:
He's clearly wasted, so the nicknames don't make much sense. But in hockey, there is a system so simple that even a drunken former star of Saturday Night Live could master it. Consult the official AHF template provided below as a guide, and make hockey nicknames for you and all your friends:
Martin St. Louis = Marty
Rod Brind'Amour = Roddy
Patrick Marleau = Patty
Or, you can switch it up and use last names:
Brendan Shanahan = Shanny
Colin White = Whitey
Daniel Alfredsson = Alfie
The only known exception is Scott. No matter what your last name is, you're Scotty. End of discussion.
Anyway, this system is damn near foolproof, and has stood the test of time since the days of Gordon Howe (you probably know him as "Gordie"). There's just one problem...the Kings' new goalie.
Not a lot of great options there.