Thursday, January 04, 2007

Funnier All Star campaigns than "Vote for Rory"

Well, even though I never officially weighed in on the whole Vote for Rory phenomenon, I will say that I'm disappointed that he probably won't be starting at the All Star Game.

I was proud as hell of the effort, and voted for him twice.

Many people have criticized it, Don Cherry among them, who said "the league is not a joke, and this is a joke." To that, I respectfully disagree, especially seeing as Grapes happens to be a personal hero of mine.

Look- while Vote for Rory might be funny, it's not JUST a joke. It's a legitimate effort to insert some new blood into the NHL All Star game, and reward a player who has worked his ass off to stay in this league. If some people want to laugh, fine. But has baseball, basketball or football ever suggested anything this cool? Still, as a comedy writer, I feel like if I am going on record that the Vote for Rory campaign is not a joke, it's my responsibility to put out some write in campaigns that clearly are. Therefore, I'm proud to present the following:

Write in Campaigns that are Funnier than "Vote for Rory."

1) Vote for Miroslav Satan, Wade Redden (#6) as a winger, and pull Mario Lemieux (#66) out of retirement for an all-star starting line up of jersey numbers reading: "Satan 666." That's funny.

2) Vote Cory Stillman, along with Rick Nash and Sidney Crosby for the "Crosby, Stillman and Nash" line. Even funnier? Substitute Tyson Nash.

3) Sending Islanders owner Charles Wang thousands of letters demanding not only that Rick DiPetro receive a 15 year contract extension but that his backup, Garth Snow, be given the GM job. That would be HILARIOUS. Oh, wait. Forget it.

4) Writing in Gilbert Brule and Steve Sullivan to form the Gilbert and Sullivan line, with the delicate, temperamental flower Jaromir Jagr playing alongside them as "My little buttercup."

You see?

Those are jokes.

Rory isn't.

And on a terribly serious note, does the NHL have any business ignoring the wishes of it's fans? Do I need to show the picture again?


Anonymous said...

that was funny shit

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't count Rory out. The final tallies are due on January 9th on the Versus broadcast, and he was only 36,000 back with a week to go in the voting.