I'm not the only one who has noticed this, right?

Boston Bruins Goaltender Hannu Toivonen















The St. Pauli Girl










Wait- hold on.

Crap.

Did I label those wrong?


That's not to say it's a problem, if the Bruins find a goaltender who can maintain a G.A.A. lower than a 2.60 next season, I don't give a fuck if he looks like Mrs. Butterworth's:







The future of the B's














(thanks, Groggie !)





Come to think of it, if I was shopping for a goaltender among the realm of female mascots of corporate food chains, I'd probably start with the Land O'Lakes butter maiden, based on her clear mastery of the butterfly style of goaltending:








Uncanny, no?















Plus, for those of us out there who were dirty perverts in the third grade, we're well aware of the butter maiden's impressive ability to twist both of her knees behind her back, which could come in handy for a goaltender in trouble. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, I congratulate you.

More importantly, Chara's foot is going to be fine.

Just keep repeating that, until it's true.

You got a better plan?

I'm all ears.