Monday, August 14, 2006

Thanks, Ben!

Well, once again, I ask Ben to step up, and he does- that Jamie MacLennan video was great- still, as an astute anonymous commentor stated, now he's Alex Auld's bitch.


Still, it's worth bringing up how funny and well produced that segment was- sure it was a little low budget and rough around the edges, but it really worked. The punchlines were funny and it was directed exactly like it should have been, like a late night comedy remote.

As I was thinking about this, I was about to lament that American hockey broadcasts are just never as funny as that, but that's when it occured to me that pretty much all American sports broadcasts are never as funny as that. In this country, the sports broadcaster's idea of comedy, at least on a national level, is still just three guys behind a desk doing this lameass, fratboy whinnying at each other. They sit there like idiots and bray, awkwardly and unskillfully attempting to make fun of each other's clothing or lack of ability when they played the game. Then they force out these honking, billious waves of fake laughter, as though to impress on the viewer that watching the broadcast is just like "sitting around a friend's house, busting balls and watching the game."

Look- if they honestly wanted to replicate the experience of sitting around a buddy's house and watching the game with a bunch of knuckleheads, they not only should never have fired Jimmy the Greek, but they should go one step further. Why not go ahead and hire an abrasive actress (Kathy Griffin anyone?) to walk into the booth with two minutes left in the half and start screaming at the color man.

You know- really letting him know, right at the most important part of the game that just because his slacker, shithead "friends" think that "doing something productive" entails drinking an entire six pack before 3:00 PM, well that doesn't mean that he has to do it. Then after inquiring if his drunkass buddies all jumped off the Empire State Building if he would go along too, she would loudly and aggressively note that the lawn "ain't mowing itself."

Then, as an intro to the halftime show, we'd be treated to the color man out in the blazing sun in his shirtsleeves, hunched over a lawn mower muttering "just THAT much respect is all I ask....Beer. Yeah I'll drink a beer in my own house- just as much as I da*n well please. Think I'm gonna just sit around- Like she's never sat around- HA! Why just wait till she tries just one thing like this again- JUST ONE. Oh ho ho. We. will. see. Yes, indeedy-doo we will. Now where's' that fu&#*in gas can?"

Then they cut to the highlights.

Oh, and one other thing, while I'm talking about comedy segments in sports, particularly hockey, lemme get one thing off my chest:

Hey Denis Leary!

You can stop now.

Seriously, enough already.

I'm a Bruins fan too, dude- but knock it off.


Sherrie said...

That was care of James Duthie from TSN who happens to be their resident "funny man" who also writes a very entertaining column on their website. I personally love him yet many Canadians can't stand him.

Anonymous said...

If you ever get ahold of Dennis Leary in person pass along that same message about his acting career too. We know- you love firemen- you want to really please them? buy the firehouse season tickets to the B's and shut you mouth.

ooooh edgy!