Several Questions not asked of Jordan Staal after his teams' shootout victory over the Boston Bruins

OK- so the Bruins dropped another shootout last night, this time to the hated Penguins.

I'm getting tired of this. They played well, they just couldn't find the net after multiple powerplays. It's a problem, but it's also a young season. When Bergeron breaks through, they'll start winning.

Still, the B's looked good against the Pens, and dodged a real bullet in overtime when Bergeron broke his stick, leaving the Bruins effectively trying to kill a 3 on 2 powerplay.

Scary.

Oh, and how did they get into a 3-on-3 situation, not to mention the 3-on-2 that was caused by the broken stick?

The Associated Press report of the game provides the most succinct description:

The teams played 3-on-3 for the final 1:35 of the extra period after Savard was whistled for hooking and Jordan Staal was sent off for slashing 17 seconds later.

I've checked a few different papers, and all of them tend to say the same thing, that Jordan Staal was penalized for slashing. Not one of these news organizations mentioned exactly WHERE Dennis Wideman was slashed, and I'm still looking for a YouTube clip. The official NHL Video link doesn't include it.

Still, because the area in which Mr. Staal applied the lumber was not disclosed, I'll go ahead and assume that there were several questions which were not asked of Jordan Staal after the game.

I'll go ahead and ask them here, and you can write your local NHL affiliate, and demand that in the future, I be given press access after all the games so that the truly important questions do not remain unasked:



-So, Jordan- what's up with slashing Dennis Wideman in the balls?

-Seriously, the coin-purse? Right through his legs? Do you think that's OK behavior?

-You have two brothers in the NHL. How did it happen that you didn't learn that sticking somebody in the fruitstand isn't cool?

-Don Cherry used to rave about how much he liked you. You know what Don Cherry also likes? His Grapes. For real now, what's your goddamn problem?

-Oh, hey- Jordan, remember that play when you slashed Dennis Wideman square in the danglers? If someone had done that to your father back in the day, the NHL would have two less honorable players, and one less guy who likes to slash dudes in the biscuits. Do you think it's worth eliminating two good things to accomplish just one? OK- that came out wrong, because in your case, you clearly felt that slashing both of Wideman's nuts was worth well, I dunno, what was that worth?

-Seriously. Jordan. Why his nuts?

-What the hell is the matter with you?

UPDATE:

I found a clip of the incident.



OK, not the actual incident, but a similar one.


As always, I await answers.