Sunday, November 04, 2007

The Sean Avery Olympics

Sean Avery, seen here swimming in the off-season.
In honor of his truly groundbreaking performance this weekend (we're talking off-ice performance, of course), we here at American Hockey Fan are proud to welcome you all to the first annual Sean Avery Olympics! Please refer to your program below for a listing of the inaugural events:

Running



Hiding



Diving



Spearing



Cheapshotting



Turtling



And, of course, just being an all-around scumbag (demonstration event).

In all seriousness, though, there's a big difference between Sean Avery and a Ryan Hollweg, say, or a Darcy Tucker (both of whom I also hate). Getting under someone's skin is one thing, but Avery is just plain reckless. How much longer is this guy going to be allowed to endanger the other players on the ice? Are a few good soundbites really worth somebody else's health or career?

8 comments:

Eric said...

waaaah waaah waaah

Lundqvist outplays Brodeur (again) and all they say is Avery said bad things...

For a team that dresses Cam Jansen, this is a bit of pot/kettle.

Pokecheck said...

Avery matters. He does. He stirs the pot. He's not exactly Mr. Point Scorer, but he heats up a game. And really, the most dangerous thing about Avery is his mouth.

I love hating Sean Avery. Good time.

And that diving montage made me laugh out loud.

Ben said...

Two important differences between Cam Janssen and Sean Avery:

1) Janssen actually fights. He doesn't try to start a fight, then run away and let someone else take a pounding.

2) Janssen doesn't try to fight Jagr, or Scott Gomez. Despite jawing at Clarkson all through the warmup, when it came time to drop the gloves, Avery decided he'd rather take a shot at Zach Parise.

I mean, come on. Even someone who thinks winning 2-1 in the shootout counts as "outplaying" the other goalie has got to understand that.

Anonymous said...

I am now officially making this webpage(if you could call it that) my least favorite. Sean Avery is not a coward, and if you didn't notice, he beats the living snot out of 90% of everyone he fights.And lets face it, every team has a pest like him.He may not be a superstar, but is an important component to the Rangers!
Seriously, next time you make a webpage like this, do it about Chris Simon.

Anonymous said...

THE LAST COMMENT WAS RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

Kimi said...

To the two above:

Funny joke, guys. If you're going to suggest making a page about hating on Chris Simon then I think this person is completely entitled to hating on Sean Avery and displaying it with ever fiber of their being. :)

Oh, and I doubt they really care that your 'least favorite webpage' is this one.

Anonymous said...

First of all i dont think any one of you made it past pee wee b, and cam jansen is the reason fighting is on its way out. sean avery has the ability to move the puck effectively. To say that he ducks from a fight or confrontation that he starts is illogical, because he knows they are going to come after him anyway. leave the hockey blogs alone...

Anonymous said...

also winning in a shootout 2-1 absolutely means you have outplayed the other goalie...how can you deny that fact...and zach parise is a pansy and doesnt deserve 43 goals or whatever he has now..he's just one of those let the puck come to me, garbage goal scorer, and if it takes talking trash to him or taking him out to win i'd say it's a pretty ingenious grinder mentality