Cause you know what would crush the Stanley Cup Final in tonight's ratings?
Jesus, I love the spelling bee.
It's the perfect storm or nerdiness, child abuse, and white-knuckled tension.
Check this out:
I know that I bitch a lot about NHL promos, but I'll tell ya, the NHL would do OK to get a couple of these kids up on a podium and get them to try to spell the more difficult names of some of the NHL stars.
Here's how it goes:
LITTLE NERDY KID APPROACHES PODIUM, STANDS NERVOUSLY.
STERN JUDGE (Voiceover): Afinogenov.
KID: Definition please?
JUDGE: The last name of Maxim Afinogenov, an All Star Right Wing for the National Hockey League's Buffalo Sabres.
KID: Language of Origin please?
KID: Part of Speech please?
JUDGE: Noun, proper name.
KID: Can you use it in a sentence please?
JUDGE: After picking off a pass in the neutral zone, Afinogenov electrified the crowd by beating two defenders and scoring.
KID: Afinogenov. A-F-I-N-A-G-E-N-O-V. Afinogenov.
(BELL DINGS, THE KID GOT IT WRONG. THE KID REACTS IN SHOCKED DISAPPOINTMENT)
CUT TO CLIP OF AFINOGENOV PICKING OFF A PASS IN THE NEUTRAL ZONE, BEATING TWO DEFENDERS AND SCORING, ELECTRIFYING THE CROWD.
CUT TO EXIT SCREEN WITH NHL LOGO
VOICEOVER: The players of the National Hockey League: Hard to Spell, Easy to watch.
Then rinse and repeat with a different kid, doing Giguere, Kostitsyn, Datsyuk, you name it. You get a funny little sketch, and a great hockey highlight.
You see NHL?
How fucking hard is that?