I'll Say It-

-I don't care who wins tomorrow's gold medal game.

Don't get me wrong- I'm looking forward to it. But it doesn't matter.

I'm sure there are a bunch of Canadians who will get their poutines in a bunch if Canada doesn't get the gold on home soil, but the fact is, after flirting with the disaster that could have been, silver ain't bad. Worst case scenario, they lose to a US team and start a new rivalry, something that international hockey has needed since the end of the cold war. As for the US, they already beat Canada, so if they lose, well- they're batting .500, which in terms of our national passtime is an epic win.

Ultimately, what I don't want for either side is a blowout.

What I really want is a well played game, and I'm really excited about seeing the best hockey players in the world giving it their all.

What I'm excited about seeing, really- is an All Star Game.

An actual All Star Game. Not some bullshit, no-hitting corporate show, but a real game. With awesome fucking hockey players. I've said it before and not really meant it, but now I really mean it:

May the best team win.

Postponed Post

There was more hockey action
here than inside the arena.

There are certain moments throughout history when every American remembers exactly where they were and what they were doing. Neil Armstrong setting foot on the moon, the tragic assassination of John F. Kennedy, the election of our first African American president...

And now to that august list, we add the night the lights went out in Newark.

When Ritch texted me and asked for a man-on-the-scene report from the power failure that brought play to a halt halfway through the second period of tonight's Devils/Lightning game, there was only one thing to say:

"Hey dipshit...nothing's happening."

Seriously, where's Jeremy Roenick when you need him?



Or maybe I'm wrong. Is anyone interested in a blow-by-blow recap of every piece of interstitial video the Devils have ever produced? Here's mascot NJ Devil inserted into a clip from Animal House...here he is inserted into a clip from Pee Wee's Big Adventure...here he is going for his yearly colonoscopy.

They even made the questionable decision to run the famous Patrick Swayze/Chris Farley Chippendale's sketch from Saturday Night Live, despite the fact that both men are now dead. I guess they're waiting until Kevin Nealon kicks the bucket to finally pull that one from the rotation.

I did manage to do a little investigative reporting while we waited for the game to go on or not. One Devils representative, speaking on condition of anonymity, told me that he personally witnessed Lou Lamoriello kicking the plug out shortly after the Devils gave up their third goal on seven shots.

It wasn't all bad news, though...the assembled media must have been psyched to get lobbed such a softball for tomorrow's headlines. Just decide whether to go with some variation of "Lightning Strikes" or the "Power Outage" of the Devils failing to convert on the man advantage and call it a night.

Anyway, after about an hour and a half, things finally got moving, and I managed to capture that action on video as well:



You're welcome.

Ben's at the Rock

Yeah, there isn't a lot going on.

I for one, am loving watching all these anchors fill time. If this keeps up, Stan Fischler is going to be interviewing a drunken Chris Terreri sometime around midnight.

Here's Ben, taped at the Rock moments ago:



Seriously, didn't Gary Bettman have no problem cancelling a bunch of hockey games sometime around 2004-2005?

UPDATE: 10:00 PM broadcasters announce game is cancelled- Mike D'Antoni must be thrilled!

UPDATE #2: Official language is game is "suspended." We dodged a bullet- apparently, the next thing scheduled was Ken Danekyo asking viewers for help with his KenKen puzzle.

UPDATE# 3: New official language is "postponed." They refer us to Newjerseydevils.com. According to Doc Emeric, fans are littering the ice with some stuff.  As a Bruins fan, I'm kind of pissed we didn't get to see tape of the '88 Bruins/Oilers Cup Final blackout game. It was the best game the B's played that entire series.

Best Shot of the Night

Last Monday, I had the particular misfortune of attending the Bruins/Rangers game at the Garden, a 3-2 snoozefest of a win by the Blueshirts after both teams spent two periods aggressively playing like they really wouldn't mind losing this one.  There was a flash of excitement in the last five minutes of the third when the B's rallied back from 2 goals down to tie it, but that was snuffed out by a Christopher Higgins goal with a minute and change left that looked more like women's billiards than ice hockey. I'm sure the Ranger fans were happy to see it, but it's not like they put an exclamation point on the night by ringing up another of of these beauties:


It was a crap goal and a crap game, and to make a long story short, the Ranger fans left feeling relieved instead of ecstatic, and Bruins fans saw their team try to win without a 60 minute effort again, and instead got just what they deserved, which was a regulation loss. Of course, if they were just gonna blow the game, they could have done us the favor of not blue-balling us at the end there.

Either way, the better bad team won, and no one headed home happy, except maybe Christopher Higgins, and fuck that guy.

So we filed out, and unlike a lot of buildings in the NHL, when you leave Madison Square Garden after a hockey game, the dispersal of fans is gradual and a little off-putting. There are so many other random people just walking around the city that after about a hundred yards, you're still in the middle of a crowd, but with each step, that crowd is made up of fewer and fewer hockey fans. One by one, the people who just shared an experience with you are replaced with those who didn't, until before you realize it, you're right back to feeling like the only hockey fan in America.

It's discouraging, especially after a crap game.

Of course, I was headed for the subway, so that feeling was diluted a little, seeing as I was waiting on the platform for the uptown C train, and could still see quite a few folks in hockey jerseys waiting not only on my side, but also on the express and downtown local platforms across the two sets of train tracks across the way.

I was walking north along the platform to kill a little time, and as I strolled past a trash can in the corner next to an empty bench, I just kind of sensed a disturbance in the force.  People were gathered around, looking at something, I couldn't tell what, but there was a palpable excitement in the air, bordering on fear.

I swiveled my head around and saw it. There was a fat, nasty rat crouching behind the trash can, up on the platform, WITH US, knawing on something. People were maintaining a safe distance of about 20 yards or so, and kind of slowly rotating around the trash can so they could keep an eye on the rat.


Of course, rats in the subway are no big deal, provided they stay down on the tracks where they belong. But when one gets up on the platform, on the same level as you, that's an altogether different experience. I've seen it happen a number of times and it's always dramatic as hell when they run. People run, jump, scream, freak out, you name it. It's exciting, and that rat was cornered and definately going to run.

I joined the circle of onlookers, eyeing the nasty fucker and getting ready to jump if he headed my way. It felt like a game of Russian Roulette, the standoff at the end of the Good, The Bad and the Ugly, or basically, the way you're supposed to feel during the last five minutes of a hockey game that doesn't suck.

"That's poison he's eating now!" announced an authoritative voice. It came from an African American subway custodian who looked to be in his late 40's.  He slowly approached the circle of onlookers, wearing a reflective vest over his blue MTA uniform. He was carrying a large, heavy shovel, painted yellow, and his eyes were fixed on his target. This wasn't his first rat. Not by a long shot.

This was turning into the best show in town.

The crowd, many of them still wearing hockey jerseys, gathered slightly closer, but not so close as to crowd the rat out from behind the can. Fans from across the platform craned their necks and angled for a good view from their limited sightlines.

Slowly but surely, the custodian edged up to the trash can, and with a quick lateral move, turned the corner of the bench, and simulataneously smashed down the heavy blade of the shovel. He narrowly missed the rat, who was off like a shot, southbound along the platform. And that's when the screams started. 

As the mayhem increased, and people began jumping out of the way of the fleeing rodent, the custodian lowered his shoulders and broke into a sprint, the blade of his shovel knee-high like a hockey stick. He caught up to the rat after about 30 yards, and without breaking stride, took a high, hard slapshot with the shovel that sent it flying onto the tracks, where it landed hard, righted itself and scurried away.

As one, the crowd went wild.

Hands down, it was the best shot of the night. 
 

How Bout Those Kids!

Big ups to the American squad at the World Junior Classic!

I might not have given a crap if not for Aedan Helmer, reporter for the Ottawa Sun, who dropped me the following line:

Ritch,
I'm looking for some opinions on tomorrow's Canada-US showdown at the World
Junior tourney.
Are American hockey fans following the tournament?


I wrote him back with the following:

Hey Aedan-

What the hell is the World Junior tourney?

kidding.

Sort of.

I can't speak for all American hockey fans, but I'd tend to doubt there is much interest, as the tourney isn't marketed at all down here. Basically, if the game was starting, and a buddy called me up and said "Hey- US -Canada is on" I'd thank him, and watch it, at least until Canada went up by seven.

There definitely is interest but the only place to watch or get news about it is on the NHL Network, which doesn't have a show devoted to it. We get some coverage from On The Fly, but not enough to really follow the tournament. The only games I have caught this year have been because I was flipping through and saw they were on, not because I was aware in advance. Also, you're never sure if you're watching a game live, and it hasn't helped that the few games I have clicked on have been big time blowouts.

That said, US/Canada is always worth tuning in for.

When's it on?

All the best,

Ritch

He ended up using a great deal of what I wrote- here's the story. 

I just watched them end it in OT, and good for them!

USA!
USA!
USA!

Wait- Did Keith Ballard kill another goalie?

 From the Yahoo! recap of tonight's Florida/Colorado game:

Scott Clemmensen, starting in place of injured Panthers goalie Tomas Vokoun(notes), made 29 saves. Vokoun is recovering after he was hit in the head by Florida defenseman Keith Ballard’s(notes) stick during a bizarre on-ice accident Monday night. Vokoun received stitches on his ear but had no other medical problems... Ballard was involved in another scary incident on Wednesday. Charging toward the net with less than a minute left in overtime, Ballard slid toward the net and appeared to collide with Anderson, whose head hit the goal post...Ballard wasn’t available to speak with reporters after Wednesday’s game.

I'll say it: Keith Ballard is the Tommy Jarvis of the NHL.

Watch your ass, Varlamov, you're next. 

Stunning New Angle On Keith Ballard-Vokoun Hit

Maybe it's the 3D, but this new look at the vicious shot to the mask dished out on Tomas Vokoun by his own defenseman last night makes Ballard look, oh I don't know, a little more feminine, maybe?



What do you think?

(H/T Dumb As A Blog)

I've only seen one Bruins game this year-

-but I'll tell ya, I'm a little worried about the penalty kill.

Missing both PJ Axellsson and Stephane Yelle hurts.

Whew!

Man, that was some solid-ass hockey analysis, especially after a four month layoff.

I'm tired.

Dang.

I've been on a book tour,  gone to a bunch of weddings, have another wedding to go to this weekend, and that means I'm gonna miss the B's/Islanders game.

And that's a bummer, because I like these new look Islanders. Win or lose, if you're an Islander fan, I think checking in on dudes like Streit, Okposo, Tavares, and whoever their next general manager current backup goaltender is, is gonna be fun to watch.

Great Season, Everybody

Let's do it again in October!

Sidney Crosby is the youngest captain ever-

-to win the Stanley Cup while not playing the third period.

It kind of reminds me of the time Willis Reed limped back into Madison Square Garden, and made the heroic decision to stay on the bench so he wouldn't hurt his team, or Keri Strug.... oh screw it.

Really?

Mario?

With the Cup on the ice?

Fuck me.

I hate that guy.

That was awesome how one asshole who didn't play in the third period passed it to another asshole who didn't play the third period.

Yay, Marketing!

In case any of you Penguins fans are interested in rewatching game seven...

...there will be an IMAX version of the game being shown Monday evening at the Moon Township drive-in movie theater, projected onto Marc Andres Fleury's massive teeth.

Fans should bring wine, cheese, blankets, and several yards of thick rope, should the Stanley Cup winner need to at any point, floss.

I gotta tell you-

I got a little choked up seeing Hal Gill raise the Stanley Cup.

That's a native of Concord, Massachusetts right there, and he played hard for the Bruins.

It was nice to see Guerin lift it too, but he'd done it before.

And, you know- both of those guys managed to suck it up and play the third period.

Please, Gary. For the Love of the Game. Don't.

I said it last year, and I'll say it again.

Gary Bettman has no business on the ice at the end of the year, handing out the Stanley Cup and the Conn Smythe Trophy.

Justified or not, the fans hate Gary Bettman, and not only does it bum out us hardcore fans, the inevitable booing takes casual fans out of this wonderful moment of celebrating hockey.

Seriously.

Gary.

Stop it.

Please.

One man, and one man alone should have been handing out the Stanley Cup that night, and his name was Mario Lemieux. If the Wings had won, it should have been Steve Yzerman. Or Gordie Howe.

I've put out my theory on this.

It is do-able.

Can we PLEASE make it happen?

Please?

Even though I knew the outcome and the final score...

... while I was watching the Stanley Cup Final on DVR, when Nic Kronwall hit the crossbar with 2:10 remaining in the third period, I screamed.

Goddamnit- I love this game.

Congrats to the Pittsburgh Penguins and their fans on an incredible playoff and final.

The Best Possible Reason To Miss Game Seven Of The Stanley Cup Finals

Annabelle Ellen Duncan.
Born June 12, 2009.
11:42 PM
6 lbs, 13 oz.





So.

Who won the game?

A thoughtful gift.

Just in case I haven't expressed how totally awesome my wife is, she arrived home last night and told me that she had been to a discount candy store and she bought me a present.

It was a pack of 1990 Topps hockey cards, complete with gum.

Let's open 'er up!

-Kelly Miller: Capitals.
eh.

-Troy Murray: Blackhawks.
again, I sorta remember him.

-Doug Brown: Devils
At this point, I'm thinking this pack might be shit. There might be a reason it only cost a dollar.

-Mark Osbourne: Maple Leafs.
Seriously, this might as well be a random name generator. I don't know any of these guys.

-Pelle Eklund: Flyers
- I sort of remember this guy, but it's hard to get too fired up about a random dude form Philly. Especially when he's named "Pelle."

-Doug Brown: Devils.
You read that right. Another fucking Doug Brown Card. I was still thrilled that my wife got me the pack, but yeah- I was getting discouraged. And then, all of a sudden:

-Barry Pederson: Penguins
Heyhey! I'd forgotten that this current member of the Boston Bruins broadcast team played for the Penguins, and let's not forget, this is the guy who went the other way for Cam Neely. This is a great card, and I'm happy, but if that's all I got in the pack that I liked, let's be honest here- Barry Pederson on the Penguins is sort of a thin broth. So who was next?

-Mario Lemieux: Penguins.
WOW! Yes, I've always hated number 66, but you can't deny he was one of the best ever, and I got that old pop I used to get when you open a pack of hockey cards, and stumble on a superstar. It was a really nice nostalgic moment. I looked it up on line, and I don't want to brag, but that card is now worth a cool dollar and fifteen cents. Bidding starts at a dollar. Up next?

Ken Linseman: Flyers.
This was a really fun one too, from a Bruins fan's perspective. Everybody loved The Rat in Boston, and this was a card from his first year in a Flyers uniform after the Dave Poulin trade. Poulin was a great Bruin too, and I feel like getting a Linseman card in a Flyer uniform is almost better than getting one of his Bruins cards, cause this way, I remember Poulin as well.

-Edmonton Times: "Gretzky Returns home to score his 1851st point"
These cards were always horseshit. Nobody wants the fake-ass Gretzky card that's not Gretzky's actual card. Still, being able to fondly remember my disdain for getting such a shit card was still kinda fun, from a nostalgia perspective.

-Rick Tocchet Flyers (89-90 Scoring leaders card)
see above. Also, screw Rick Tocchet. But yeah, you know, even though he was a shitty Bruin, you gotta kinda like the guy. Let's use this space to watch him break Claude Julien's nose again, shall we?

-Bob Carpenter: Bruins
Damn, I loved Bob Carpenter. He's another guy who's still with the Bruins organization, and he was a dandy, lemme tell you. On the face of things, he wasn't really that goddamn good. He could check and play OK, and wasn't awful, a good lunchpail Bruin, and then every now and then- like every 25 games or so, Bobby Carpenter would get these GREAT goals, and- oh wait. Shit. I'm thinking of Bob Sweeney. But Carpenter was great too. We eventually lost him to the Devils, (I think) for one reason or another and he was one of those B's you'd see in another uniform, and just wish we never let him go. Brian Rolston-esque, that guy.

Dave Chyzowski: Islanders (Top Prospect Card!)
Yeah, well that didn't work out so well for the Islanders, did it? And you Isles fans can't even blame Milbury for that one. In 1990, he was one of the best coaches in the league, bringing the Bruins to the Stanley Cup final. And these last two are something else:

Scott Stevens: Capitals.
Boy, it's hard to imagine old Scott Stevens on the Caps, isn't it? But he was. I saw that card and eagerly thought "Maybe this is a rookie card!" Wrong. He was on the caps for 8 years before he ever joined the Devils. What a player. And then, the icing on the cake, the best card in the pack:

Andy Brickley: Bruins
Wow- two members of the current Bruins broadcast team in one pack? Good times. Since there isn't much chance I'd find a card of a 15 year old Kathryn Tappen, this is about as good as it gets. Good old Brick, who was a great lunchpail Bruin, smart hockey player, and now one of the best color men in the game. When I was lucky enough to get a press pass at the Verizon Center in Washington, one of my biggest thrills was to meet, and do a quick interview with Andy Brickley. Man, does he look like a baby on that card. Funny.

Incidently, the gum, like all hockey card gum, was broken into three jagged, solid shards. Before I could stop her, my wife popped one of the shards into her mouth, made a horrible face, and ran from the room to spit it out. That's 19 year old gum. I asked her why she did it, and she said "I was curious!" This coming from a woman who won't try Indian food, and yet her driving culinary curiosity compells her to chew a piece of hockey card gum that's old enough to vote.

And I've tried that gum 19 years ago, when it was fresh.

It sucked then too.

My beautiful wife....

...will be giving birth to a baby girl this weekend, if her doctor is to be believed.

But the doctor might be lying.

It makes sense to me that baby doctors might tell women who are very pregnant and sick of being pregnant that "it'll be this weekend" just to make them feel better. Believe me, there is something to be said for lying to pregnant women to make them feel better. And don't misjudge my motives, I'm just positing the theory that it's a good thing when pregnant women feel better.

Cause, from what little I've seen of it, being pregnant kind of sucks.

Anyway, this is a hockey blog, and I post this here because this weekend, of course, there's a pretty big hockey game on, and I may become a father during game seven of the Stanley Cup Finals. My wedding had a similar hockey overlap, and of course what happens in circumstances like that is that watching hockey becomes the smaller number. It's a big goddamn number, there's no doubt about it, but when you do the math, you realize what's really important. If you are the kind of hockey fan that would bemoan getting married or experiencing the birth of your first child because you're missing a hockey game, you might want to stop calling yourself "a hockey fan," and go with something smoother sounding, like "sociopath."

Hockey is hockey and life is life and there are some things that are just more important, plain and simple.

With that said, thank fucking Christ the Bruins aren't playing Friday. And I'm not saying I wouldn't make the right choice, I'm just glad I don't have to. For all hockey people, the game is part of our lives, so it would follow that it might be part of the significant milestones of our lives as well. I haven't missed watching the Stanley Cup being raised since the mid-80's, but if I do miss it this year, I'll have a pretty good excuse. If the game is tied at the end of the third, and I'm not there to watch it, enjoy your sudden death hockey fans.

I'll be welcoming new life.

Yawn.

Tired tonight.

If you wanna see some exclusive crowd pics from before game 5 in Detroit, check out Dumb as a Blog. My co-worker (and huge Red Wing Fan) Sam actually got tickets by just getting on Ticketmaster with four friends and hitting refresh.

I expressed surprise that she got tickets that way and she said "Yeah, I guess there's a lot of people from Detroit these days who can't really afford hockey tickets." Which is sad. Of course, there's also the fact that tomorrow's game 6 will be the Red Wings 30th Stanley Cup finals game in less than 15 years.

In the same time period, counting tomorrow's game, Penguins fans have had the opportunity to watch their team play in 12 finals games, all from this and last season.

The Bruins of course, have had none. If you go all the way back to 1988, they've had 10 appearances in the cup finals, and I'm counting the game when the lights went out, which ended a tie, and was replayed, which technically meant there was another opportunity to buy tickets to the finals. In my lifetime, the Boston Bruins have won exactly one hockey game in the Stanley Cup finals.

It was pretty sweet.

In Detroit, they've had considerably more chances to see their team in the Finals, and have no reason to expect those opportunities are going to dry up in the immediate future. With all due respect to the folks who have lost their jobs, I think that's worth mentioning.

Do I sound like a bitter and jealous Bruins fan? Is that coming across?

Cause I am.

Celebrity Sighting

Today was a beautiful summer day in New York City.

I was out and about, doing some errands, and found myself walking up 6th avenue, just south of Radio City Music Hall. There were tourists out in force, and as such, I found myself rather unintentionally walking right next to another guy.

Like side by side, our strides were matching, we were in each other's personal spaces, and it was kind of weird. It went on for a full 10 steps or so, to the point where I thought "Oh Christ, am I gonna have to slow down, or pretend to stop or something?" I glance over at the guy and I recognize him. I can't place him right away, but I know that I know this guy. I take another look, and I place him. It was a prominent sports columnist for the Boston Globe, who's name I won't mention here since I don't want to invade the dude's privacy more than I already am, but anyway, I recognize him right away. I will say that he wasn't one of the regular hockey guys. Since we were literally right next to each other, I call him by his first name and say hi. He's a little cold at first, probably because he spotted my double take, and- you know, I was walking down the street close enough to be holding his hand. I quickly say "tough year for the Bruins." He looks at me, and says: "Yeah."

A thoughtful look comes over his face, and he corrects himself.
"Actually, no. Tough series. Great year."

And he was absolutely right. Not wanting to act like a creep, I wished him well, told him to enjoy the nice day, and turned the corner. For the next 20 minutes I replayed the scenario in my mind, rehearsing scenarios in which I told him that it always feels tougher when your expectations are higher, told him how glad I was that the Globe didn't go under, offered to give him a restaurant reccomendation, or asked him the proper pronounciation of Fluto Shinzawa. Ultimately, I think I did the right thing.

But it was a fun brush with celebrity.

To bring it back to hockey, my brother plays in an ice league in Houston, Texas and according to his Facebook status, he overheard the following in the locker room:

"I was as useless out there as tits on a snow shovel!"

He is happy to report that even in Houston, Texas- hockey players are still hockey players.