Adieu to the Bruins

I know.

I should be happy for these Bruins.

And on paper, I am.

There is an awful lot to love about this young team, and going into next year, there is a tremendous amount to build on.

And we'll always have game six.

But ultimately, right now, I guess the reason that I'm really disappointed is that, much like the team itself, I believed in these Bruins. And their post game comments bear out that even if very few others did, they believed in themselves:

(Quotes from the Boston Globe)

Zdeno Chara: "In the end, you feel so empty. We really thought we were going to the next round. We believed we were going to get it done."

Tim Thomas: "I don't think anybody in this locker room thought we'd be done tonight. The belief was there. It was on my part. It was on everybody's part that we would keep this thing going."

Marc Savard: "It's tough because guys battled hard. We really believed as a group that we could go on."

Claude Julien: "I think we all believed we could get to the next round of the playoffs...our expectations were high...and rightfully so."

This team exceeded expectations, battled through injuries, fought down the stretch, and earned their way into the playoffs by refusing to quit, even after losing their top defenseman (Chara) and leading scorer (Savard) for key periods at the end of the season.

Then, in much the same way as Ben described the Devils this season, the playoffs were, for the Bruins, a microcosm of the regular season.

Both the regular season and the playoffs started with virtually no one giving the Bruins a chance, and that was before they faced serious adversity. In the regular season, the prognosticators had them finishing in the basement even before they lost Bergeron and Alberts, and in the playoffs even Bruins boosters like John Buccigross opined that the best the Bruins could possibly hope for was to win a single home game.

After they dropped the first two in Montreal, thanks to an unstoppable opening charge by the Habs (and their fans) in game one, and a referee's whistle in game two, the B's were counted out and in a deep hole.

Then, in both the regular season, and the playoffs, they battled back, played with their hearts, and played their game. And like their heroic effort to fight to the finish and make the playoffs, forcing game seven became a major victory in itself. While forcing a game seven against anybody after being down 3-1 would have been impressive, doing so against the Canadiens got a monkey off their back that they could finally beat a team that had bested them all season. That game six victory was not only the best Bruins game that I've seen in years, but it did wonders for winning back hockey fans in the Hub, reminding the folks who have been content to ride happily along for the winning ways of the Patriots, Celtics, and Red Sox that hockey deserves it's place in, and perhaps one day again, atop, the "big four."

So I know- I should be happy.

And I will be again, with some time. Basically, this game, like all game sevens, was a game of inches, and if that first Montreal goal doesn't bounce in off a stick, who knows?

If Murray buries that picture perfect pass from Savard before crashing into the boards and ending his season, (and maybe his career with the Bruins?), who knows?

And, goddamnit, when at the 14 minute mark of the first period, when Chara gambled to chip it in at the blueline, and Kessel made a great play, whirling his body outside the zone, barely keeping the puck inside, and delivering a laser of a pass to Sturm who shot it with Krejci on the doorstep... who knows?

OK- now I'm just pouring salt on the wound.

But, that's the game of hockey, and the Bruins showed a ton of heart, guts and fight this year. Through it all, they were fun to watch. Add to the equation that next year, we'll have a healthy Patrice Bergeron, a ton of talented rookies and the confidence that they can compete in the playoffs.

But allow me to be bummed out for today.

I mean, you know ... I really believed.

I bet Tim Russert woulda known who he was.

Here ya go, hockey fans-

Just go ahead and listen up through the 2:30 mark or so.



Thanks to the Fanhouse and The Sidney Crosby Show for the find.

Puck drops for Game Seven of Bruins/Habs in 30 minutes.

Anaheim Duck Soup

Well, the formerly mighty Stanley Cup Champion Anaheim Ducks have been eliminated from the playoffs by the Dallas Stars, and I say good riddance.

At least now Scott Neidermeyer and Teemu Selanne won't have to play any more of those hockey games they seemed to find so inconvenient to show up for during the first 2/3rds of the season.

Oh, and I know I probably shouldn't embed this, but why the hell not?

It's probably better than anything else you'd watch on the internet this morning:



Sorry, Defending Stanley Cup Champion Anaheim Ducks, but it's time to leave. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get in a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon you can leave in a minute and a huff.

Don't look now, defending Stanley Cup Champion Anaheim Ducks, but there is one hockey team too many in this room, and I think it's you.

What a Game.

Bruins/Canadiens.

What can you say?

This is why you watch the playoffs.

Games like these.

That was the most thrilling Bruins game I've seen since before Ray Bourque left town.

Wow.



I'll say it again.

I. Like. Our. Chances.

Defending Marty

Somebody's gotta do it - if not on the ice, then off.

I can't really say much in defense of the Devils' performance this post-season other than that it was a microcosm of most of their regular season, which consisted of them being almost good enough to get the job done, but not quite. Their regular MO seemed to be:

1. Dig an enormous hole.


2. Climb almost all the way out of it.


3. Don't.

They went 4-7 in October, then clawed back, spending much of the season at the top of their division. They lost that position, but had multiple chances to regain it in the waning weeks of the season. And they were almost good enough to do it...but not quite.

And again in the playoffs. They were almost good enough to beat the Rangers - three of the four losses included empty net goals, and the one that didn't was a 2-1 final that even the most die-hard Ranger fan would have to admit was decided by the officials. And they mounted a heroic (though admittedly flukey) comeback in Game 5. In each case, almost good enough, but not quite.

So that's that. The Rangers were the better team this year, and while that hurts to say, it can't really be disputed.

What can be disputed was that Sean Avery deserved a handshake out of all this.

Regular readers of this blog know Ritch to be a huge traditionalist and lover of the history of the sport. So as soon as I saw Marty and Avery skate past each other without shaking, I knew Ritch was going to flip. I mean, he was on record as looking forward to it, for God's sake.

But Ritch, you're wrong on this one.

First of all, watch the end of the game. They skated past EACH OTHER. It's not like Avery had his hand out and got it slapped away or ignored. During the media tongue-bath after the game, he was quick to point out that oh, of course, he would've shaken Marty's hand. And yet Avery's hand was not out. Shocking.

But that's a minor point, really. I submit that what is great about the tradition of the handshake is not the physical act itself, but the respect that it signifies for a hard-fought battle on the ice. If that respect is not earned or given, the handshake is meaningless. And I believe traditions should be more than empty gestures.

I think we all agree that playoff hockey is a battle, emotions run high, and so forth. But after a two-year campaign of trashing Marty in the media, running him over and playing innocent, and saying God knows what in his ear when they were face to face in a pile (though he probably didn't get the opportunity to haul out any of his racial or cancer material), what did Avery expect?

He reminds me of Karl Rove, in that his reputation is more impressive than the man himself. Both guys have above-average ability, but enjoy greater success than that ability merits simply because they're willing to sink lower than any opponent they face. Does it work? Obviously. Does it merit a handshake? Not a chance.

So I'll watch while the hockey media (with a few notable exceptions) continues to pile on Brodeur and the Devils, their favorite whipping boys. But I promise you it'll be a different story once Avery starts running Carey Price, or calling out Sidney Crosby for whining - and fans of the sport will start to wonder if they spent this week throwing the right guy under the bus.

Holy Shit! (Literally)

So I'm sitting here on a lovely afternoon in Manhattan, watching the Caps battle the Flyers for their playoff lives, in an entertaining tilt on NBC, broadcast in beautiful high definition.

As much as I like watching hockey in HD, I was curious about this afternoon's game and what would happen if it were to go to overtime, a possibility given these two teams recent double OT thriller.

It was on my mind particularly based on NBC's horrible decision last season to cut away from the Sabres/Senators playoff game to show the pregame show of a goddamn horserace.

When that happened last year, I was pissed.

So this year, I checked ahead and saw that the programming NBC has planned directly after NHL hockey is the following:

"The Outback Steakhouse Pro-Am Golf Tournament."

While Golf gets good rating and all, that sounded to me like programming that is, well- pre-emptable.

Sweet.

So this afternoon, I settled in behind my TV, assured in my knowledge that playoff OT, should it happen, is in my future.

Then, just now, to my horror, a "weather alert" type blue bar starts scrolling across the bottom of my TV, announcing that the Outback Steakhouse Pro-Am Golf Tournament will be seen on the following channels to make room for coverage of the Papal visit."

What?!

Now- it's not time to panic yet, but rest assured- if I can't watch playoff overtime in the Stanley Cup finals in high definition, I'd really appreciate a better reason than a parade for an Ex-Nazi who flew in to apologize for decades of unpunished, institutionalized child rape.

Oh, I'm sorry, I mean "spreading a message of peace."

I mean, OK- whatever, some people want to watch the Pope, I get it.

But c'mon, do you really need the HD feed for that? I've seen what old people look like in HD and trust me, hockey looks better.

I'm just saying, if the Flyers scrape out a goal in the third here and force some OT, I'm gonna be missing the HD broadcast of Alexander Ovechkin playing for his post-season life.

And in the Catholic Church, isn't "life" the most important thing?

You know, while the NHL is in the business of making up unsportsmanslike conduct penalties-

-How about one for Marty Brodeur?

Sure, Avery was a huge pain in the ass, and caught the attention of the league for his antics in this series, but you know what?

They worked.

And I hate to say it, but I think Marty Brodeur should be fined, penalized or generally shamed in some way for refusing to shake Avery's hand.

The handshake line at the end of a playoff series is one of the NHL's greatest traditions, and it shows a lack of class on Brodeur's part. You don't have to like it, but you have to do it.

That said, I'm two for three so far on my series predictions, with the Rangers and Penguins both advancing.I'm still waiting on the Bruins. That being said, I'm a little bummed out by the fact that the Devils are done, especially seeing as playoff tickets at MSG are harder to come by than stubs for the Rock.

Good night of hockey tonight, with a fun night at the Ziegfeld Theater to watch the Rangers clinch, and wrapped up just now watching the Ducks stay alive with a dominating 3rd period.

Oh, and Kudos to Time Warner cable for finally adding Versus/Golf in HD!

Now I can finally see the startling horror that is Brian Engblom's hair in crystal clear high definition. Seriously, that dude looks like the rape-baby of Luke Skywalker and the crow from the Secret of NIMH.

OK- I'm a little tired.

If you have a better "that dude's hair looks like" joke, I'm all ears.

The Great Ziegfeld!

Hey, hockey fans-

Wanna go to a movie?

No, I'm not talking about the Academy Award winning Best Picture of 1936, I'm talking about watching a playoff hockey game at Manhattan's famous Ziegfeld Theater, arguably the best place to watch a movie on the planet. The Ziegfeld is the place you want to go for the debut of any big budget, big screen blockbuster, for the best sound and biggest picture in the world. It seats just under 1200 people, and until recently was showing that Scorcese /Rolling Stones documentary, "Shine a Light,"which I haven't seen, mainly because I'm a little bit over the recent fad of Zombie flicks.

The New York Rangers and the MSG network have taken over the Ziegfeld for game five of their first round matchup with the Devils, and if they prevail, I'll be watching the most jaw dropping thing I've seen on that huge screen since I first saw Trinity whipping ass at the opening of the first Matrix movie.

That's right, Sean Avery shaking hands with Marty Brodeur.

But even though the Rangers have the edge right now, I like the Devils chances tonight. I stand by my predicition that the Rangers will win this series, but my gut tells me it's not the Rangers night.

We'll see.

I wrote about this event last year, but heard about it late, and wasn't able to go. As I write this, the Rangers organization tells me that over 1000 people have already bought tickets (yours truly included) and they are expecting a sellout. I just went to the website, and it appears tickets are still available, there will be free popcorn and soda and they will be selling beer.

REPEAT: THEY WILL BE SELLING BEER

I make that clear, simply because playoff hockey without beer is like fresh Maine lobster without butter: Still awesome, but somehow lacking.

Also, Adam Graves and Ron Duguay will be on hand, giving out prizes and greeting fans. This will be good for me, since I seem to be the only hockey fan in the Tri-State area who hasn't yet met Adam Graves, and as for Duguay, well- I'm pretty curious to see how old number 10 looks in his Sassoon's these days:



The troubling thing is that each and every one of the men in that ad could easily kick my ass.

Oo la la, indeed.

I. Like. Our. Chances.

OK.

I'll admit it.

I was wrong.

I picked the Boston Bruins to win their series against the Montreal Canadiens in six games.

Clearly, this will not happen.

That being said, I like their chances in seven.

They were knocked on their heels on game one.
A referee's whistle stole game two.
They won in OT in game three.
They lost a coin flip of a game in game four.
They got in Carey Price's head in game five.

So, the way I see it, each team has a blowout, and each team has a coin flip of a one goal win, and the difference is another one goal game that the referees handed to the Habs.

Going into Boston tomorrow, I like our chances.

I quote myself:

Despite the fact that the Bruins didn't score in game four, they were for much of the game the better team, and now they have the chance to go back to Montreal, and face that crowd again. My guess is they rise to the challenge. Obviously, being down 3-1, it's easy to say that the Bruins can't lose another game. But if they had won last night, would the situation be any different? Could they afford to go back to Montreal and lose, hope to win in Boston and then head back to the building that they never won a game in for game seven?

No matter what happened last night, they would need a win in Montreal in game 5.

And if they can do this, they will build on the confidence that they have started building in game two, and add to it the knowledge that they can beat them in their own barn. With that kind of momentum, I really like their chances back in Boston for game six, and in game seven, anything can happen.

I like our chances.

And I know I don't spend a lot of time talking about the west, but how about that Marty Turco?

Look out for that guy.

New York Post Hockey Columnist Larry Brooks: Genius or Thief?!!

Anybody whose anybody knows that the New York Post's Larry Brooks is pretty much one of the finest hockey journalists in the tri-state area, if not the nation.

Along with the Boston Globe's Kevin Paul Dupont, he is one of the grand old men of hockey writers, and if he isn't in the hall of fame already, he should be.

He's great.

So I was shocked, SHOCKED to read the beginning of his most recent column which featured the following passage:

April 16, 2008 - LISTEN, I didn't particularly like it, either, for after Sean Avery went Reggie Dunlop in the crease against Martin Brodeur on Sunday night ("Hey Hanrahan...") I was waiting for Brendan Shanahan to ease into the Ned Braden role and do a striptease while taking a lap around the Garden ice.

Anybody note the date on that?

April 16th?

Now perchance, did anybody peruse AmericanHockeyFan.com on April 15th?

Now you tell me- is Larry Brooks a genius, or a thief?!

Oh, and yes- if someone independently comes up with the same idea as I did, I am considering that as evidence of their genius. Either way, I'm getting sick and tired of the New York Hockey media ripping off American Hockey Fan.

Deb Kaufman still owes me a goddamn beer, by the way.

Nice job, Habs-

-you made that child cry.

You sicken me, to my very core you French bastards.

Still, all is not lost for the Boston Bruins.

The Bruins played a great hockey game last night. The only thing you can really fault them for was a lackluster start of the second period, and not being able to generate enough shots (were there any?) on Price in the last seven minutes. Keep in mind, the Canadiens started icing the puck and playing kitty bar the door for almost a full seven minutes at the end of the game, and that's a real bad sign for Montreal. The Bruins had a nice passing play in the final seconds, but just didn't get the job done.

Still, being down 3-1 against the Canadiens is bad. If you look at it as having to win three straight games against a team you've beaten once in your last 14 meetings, it's very bad. But there is reason to look at it differently.

First off, despite what the Canadian hockey press is attempting to foist on us, Carey Price is no Patrick Roy and/or Ken Dryden. Not yet, and not from what he's showed us thus far in the series.

-His goals against is good, yes, but he's playing the Bruins, a team that has scored fewer goals than almost anybody in the playoffs. Remember that if the Habs advance to play either the Devils or Rangers, the East's other two other low scoring teams that can win, before you allow the media to prematurely put a crown on this kid's head for his GAA.

-27 saves is not really a lot of shots in an NHL shutout. Yes, he got the job done, and the Bruins didn't score last night. He made a few nice saves (Murray in the slot from a Savard feed, and getting a piece of that Sturm shorthanded chance when he was out of position) but for my money, the best save of the series is still Thomas in OT of game 3. Price has been solid, no question, but he hasn't yet made THAT save, the save he has no business making.

For a team that is up 3-1, the Canadiens are nothing close to dominant, with the explosive performance of game one a distant memory. Sure, they may win this series, especially seeing as the last three games have been one goal squeakers, but while the Bruins didn't win last night, they did come away with confidence. They can beat this team, and if not for a referee's whistle in game two, the series is tied.

And confidence is the key factor right now, as it's exactly what the Bruins didn't have coming into Montreal in game one. They hadn't beaten this team all year, were afraid to play physical because of Montreal's dominant power play, and had a large portion of their team making their playoff debuts, including their starting goaltender and leading scorer, the latter who also had a very sore back. So they got jumped on by both the Habs and their building in game one, and lost their confidence.

But now they have it back.

Despite the fact that the Bruins didn't score in game four, they were for much of the game the better team, and now they have the chance to go back to Montreal, and face that crowd again. My guess is they rise to the challenge. Obviously, being down 3-1, it's easy to say that the Bruins can't lose another game. But if they had won last night, would the situation be any different? Could they afford to go back to Montreal and lose, hope to win in Boston and then head back to the building that they never won a game in for game seven?

No matter what happened last night, they would need a win in Montreal in game 5.

And if they can do this, they will build on the confidence that they have started building in game two, and add to it the knowledge that they can beat them in their own barn. With that kind of momentum, I really like their chances back in Boston for game six, and in game seven, anything can happen.

How ya feeling, Patrice?

Let's Go Bruins!

If the Canadiens win tonight, this child will cry.

My thoughts on Sean Avery-

- good for him.

Seriously.



I know they are talking about making what he did a penalty, and maybe they should, but, I mean- there wasn't a rule against it when he did it, right?

And it was entertaining, and it did lead to them getting a goal, I guess.

Cause I'm looking in the rulebook now, and here's what I don't see:

Penalty Rule: #358

"Being a little bitch."

When screening the goaltender, it is inadvisable to face the goaltender, not look at the play, and wave your hands and stick around like a little bitch. If someone in fact decides to act like a little bitch, he will be penalized for two minutes, or if his little bitchiness ends up in the opposition somehow bleeding, a double minor of four minutes for, and I quote, "being a tremendously annoying little bitch."

I mean, fuck- I don't know- if there isn't a rule against it, I say, go ahead and be an entertaining little bitch!

It's not like there isn't any precedent for it in hockey:



Sure, it might not have been pretty, but the Chiefs won that game, right?

Hey Washington!

Take it easy.

Seriously.

We get it.

You're on fire right now and you won't be denied.

You know, it's possible to assert your dominance without devastating the opponent's testicles.

I mean, Jesus.

We all love Ovechkin.

Agreed- we get it. He's awesome.

Now lay off the testicles.

Uncle.

We said it.

Uncle.

Did that do it?

Can you lay off the nuts?

Predictions: Pittsburgh Versus Ottawa

Well, I'm not even going to waste my time on this one.

I hate the Penguins.

Always have, probably always will.

I say probably, because you never know- maybe one day Sidney Crosby and Mario Lemieux will step away from hockey and create a foundation that discovers the cures for AIDS, Cancer, and Ice Cream headaches. They will team up and use their remarkable skills of ceaselessly bitching and whining to officials to harang the higher ups of the World Health Organization to finally cure these awful diseases.

Actually, they could do that, and while I might have a higher opinion of them as citizens of the world, I'd still hate the Penguins. Even after all of that, I'd have a bunch of unprotected sex with strangers, shoot a little heroin with the shared needles of drug addicts, smoke a carton of cigarettes, and eat an entire tub of Breyers Mint Chocolate chip ice cream in 2 minutes flat, all without risk to my heath or well being, and have absolutely no problem whatsoever sitting down in front of the TV and LOVING watching the Penguins lose.

Jesus, I hate that team.

Either way, the Sens are damaged goods, and the Ottawa coach is rallying the troops by claiming that the Penguins threw their last game in order to face them.

Nice strategy dude.

Not only will publicly demeaning your team not really work to rally your guys, but it's probably 100 percent true, which makes it worse. Either way, it doesn't change the fact that even with a healthy Daniel Alfredsson, that team would be fucked. And they don't have Daniel Alfredsson.

I'm no happier about it than you are, but it is what it is.

I mean, Christ.

You know I'm right about this.


Pittsburgh in 5

Predictions: New York vs New Jersey.

Out of all the first round contests in the East- this one is the toughest to call.

Here is what the Rangers and Devils have in common, aside from the strong team defense, and anemic offense.

World class goaltending:

Marty Brodeur and Henrik Lundquist. I'd be inclined to give the advantage to Marty here, just on resumes and playoff experience, but I actually attended the Devils/Rangers game at the Garden last March 27th, and what I saw were two evenly matched goalies at the top of their games. While there are certainly going to be some sparkling saves on both sides in this one, I can't give either team the edge, at least between the pipes.

Czech Superstars who might show up to play:

Patrick Elias and Jaromir Jagr.

Both these guys, at different times of their careers have had the ability to almost singlehandledly provide the offense that their teams have needed to win games. (Granted, the Devils usually needed a little bit less to get the W.) Still, here you have two guys, who if they decide to play up to their skill set, that could be a factor in this series. Remember,when the Rangers played the Devils in the first playoff series after the lockout, the Rangers had built a core of young Czech players around Jagr, and achieved something The Blueshirts hadn't seen since the mid-nineties: chemistry. Elias heard the hype, and after coming back from a season half-lost to Hepatitis, made sure everyone knew who best Czech on the ice was in that series, leading New Jersey to a sweep. But will either Jagr or Elias step it up? I'm thinking that if one of them does, the other one might rise to the challenge. But neither does initially, don't expect one of them to step up unprompted. Either way, it's another wash.

Clutch Performers:

Chris Drury and Jamie Langenbrunner
Who do you like better?

This guy:



Or this guy:



I won't lie to you, I fucking love them both. Thank God I don't don't have to take sides. Either way, it's another wash.

Ultimately, there is one factor and one factor alone that I don't think the Devils can match up with, and it's why I'm picking the Rangers.

Scott Gomez.

He struggled down the stretch a little bit this season, but found his game, and when playing against his former team, he seems to hear those boos and just turn it up a notch. To quote the New York Times:

Gomez led the Rangers this season with 54 assists. He was second on the team in points, with 70, one behind Jaromir Jagr. In eight games against the Devils, he had a goal and six assists. Perhaps most memorably, he came back after missing a game with bruised ribs to lead the Rangers with two assists in a crucial 3-2 victory over the Devils on March 27 at Madison Square Garden.

It's a slim X factor, but I think no matter how much you like or don't like the Rangers to win this, when you base your calculations on how the Gomez played in the regular season, and how he played against his former team in the regular season, you see a different Scott Gomez. I think he's the difference maker.

Rangers in 7


(Note: Ben might take issue with this)

Predictions: Boston Versus Montreal

OK- let me start by saying that every hockey writer on the planet is picking Montreal to win this series. And why not? They have a potentially sensational rookie goaltender in Carey Price, a lethal powerplay led by a rejuvenated Alexei Kovalev, and an overwhelming 13 straight victories against the Bruins. Also, they are the Canadiens, which historically have owned the Bruins in the playoffs (24-5 all time.) Now, here's why they won't this time:

1)Tim Thomas has consistently, over the past three seasons, been told that he is not good enough, will be the backup, won't make the team, or is the stopgap goaltender "for now". He has responded, time and time again, with excellent, clutch play. So now THIS rookie goaltender is going to outplay him? Why exactly? Because he played well in juniors? Tell that to "goalies of the future" Andrew Raycroft, Tukka Rask and Hannu Toivenen. And if you think that he's destined for greatness because Patrick Roy and Ken Dryden both won cups as rookies and he- um, wears the same color sweater? Well, you know what they didn't have? An over-the-top 24 hour internet, print and television media in Montreal telling them that they were the third coming of Christ. Yeah, I'm sure that's GREAT for a young goaltender's nerves. Edge, Tim Thomas.

2) If Alexei Kovalev is my primary offensive weapon in the playoffs, I'd be worried. A lot is made about the fact that Kovalev won a cup, and has that experience, but first of all, that was under the captaincy of Mark Messier is 1994. Montreal's captain Saku Koivu, (while very inspirational when returning from cancer,) is and was no 1994 Mark Messier. Also, his foot is broken and he may not play. I'm not saying that Kovalev wasn't lethal this season. But over a seven game series, I question his character.



3) OK- the Canadiens have won the last 13 games. That sounds bad for the Bruins. But first of all, let's go ahead and wipe away the 5 games that fell at the tail end of last season, which at that point in a devastated season was primarily a chance for the Bruins to give Mark Stuart some NHL icetime. So the Bruins went 0-8 this season. OK, that still still sounds bad, but it bears mentioning that the Bruins success down the playoff stretch was sparked by the shootout loss to the Canadiens on March 22. Sure, that was a loss, and the prognosticators can crow about how the Habs cemented their perfect record against the Bruins, but the Bruins lost their leading scorer in Marc Savard, and the Bruin rookies stepped it up, [particulary David Krejci.) The Bruins went on to take points in every single meaningful game down the stretch, and gave Krejci the confidence that he can play in this league as a #1 centerman. Now, Savard is skating. Patrice Bergeron is cleared for contact. With David Krejci, Glen Metropolit and Phil Kessel, the Bruins can all of a sudden roll 4 lines. Granted, this is based on Bergeron and Savard coming on strong, but it's the NHL playoffs, and these are two All Stars who are really hungry for playoff action, Savard having never played in the postseason, and Bergeron getting his feet wet once, against- who else? Montreal.

Bruins in 6

So if you're home late at night over the next month-

Flip on Versus.

Cause you never know-

There might be a GREAT hockey game on.

Jesus, I love the playoffs.

I take full credit for this

Obviously, I'm kidding. There's no way the league read my post two weeks ago, and as a result, decided to launch a new video portal catering to the fan, along with an upcoming overhaul of NHL.com to include more user-generated content.

Or did they?

3 Cheers for Alex Auld

Last night, the Boston Bruins celebrated clinching a playoff spot for the first time since the lockout, and wrap up the season tonight against the Buffalo Sabres, who will be celebrating, well, Yo-mamma-ween.

Many people counted the Bruins out this season, (although I wasn't among them) but while tremendous credit will be given where it's due (The superb Bruin coaching staff, the emergence of rookie talent, the ability to battle through injuries, Tim Thomas stepping up to the plate, career year in goals for Chara etc) I'd like to give a tip of the hat to a man who will likely be making his last start of the year tonight, backup goaltender Alex Auld.

After Thomas went down with a midseason injury in a game against New Jersey, the Bruins learned that prospect Tukka Rask was not yet read for prime time. So they picked up Alex Auld, and while he has had soe bad luck in shootouts, has played about as well as anyone could have expected.

In a season where you don't clinch a playoff spot until the second to last day of the season, the 23 points he got for this team (9 wins, 5 OT losses, 2 shutouts) loom LARGE.

So hats off to all of the Bruins today, and particularly to Alex Auld.

Tickets still available-

-to what might be the biggest game on the NHL schedule before the playoffs start.

The Washington Capitals play the Carolina Hurricanes in D.C. on April 1st, and the Caps trail the Southeast division leading 'Canes by just two points.

There has been a lot of talk about Alexander Ovechkin being named MVP of the league this year, and this may be the game that decides it.

Oh, by the way- the Versus network will be showing Nashville vs. St. Louis.

Nice work, fellas.

I just checked Ticketmaster, and found two ninety dollar seats on the blue line, club level. Or, on the Caps ticket exchange site, I found an ice level pair behind the penalty bench for a buck 20 each, or up in the nosebleeds for 55 each. If I lived in DC, I'd be all over that shit. The Caps are encouraging their fans to wear red for the game, an odd choice, since, well- those are the 'canes colors too, but I'll allow it. It's gonna be a battle.

Both teams have three games left, and perhaps the most even schedule of any two clubs racing for a playoff spot. They play each other once, then both teams host the also rans Tampa Bay and Florida one time each before wrapping up the season. This is appropriate, because whichever team that comes up short can ask whichever Florida team just beat them for a lift to the sunshine state where they can spend April on the beach.

The writing is on the wall for these teams. They have to play somebody really good at hockey (each other), and then a couple of teams who'll be really good at, well- tanning.

Still, the 'Canes just dropped a game to Tampa Bay recently, and if Washington runs the table, that looks to be the game they will look back on.

Thanks to the Old Bruins Fan, I found this cool chart on TSN that tracks the final playoff spots. And certainly there will be a few spirited contests in the bottom of the East, and it'll be fun to watch Vancouver scrambling to get in, but from where I'm sitting, that April 1st game in Washington is the game to watch.

No foolin'.

Client #16

Looks like it's time to add another event to the Sean Avery Olympics:

Whoring!


Allegedly.

Once again, it looks like Sean Avery's mouth has gotten him in trouble. But this time, instead of using his mouth to generate those juicy soundbites we can't live without, it appears he used it to arrange for someone to have sex with him for money.

I, for one, am shocked and disappointed. You expect this kind of thing from your elected officials and your Martin Sheen descendants. But professional athletes? It's heartbreaking.

And the fact that it's Sean Avery accused of soliciting prostitutes is especially painful. That a player known as much for his quiet humility as for his trademark stylish eyewear could be caught up in such sleaze is just appalling. I mean, next you're going to tell me that Todd Bertuzzi is rude to waitresses. I just don't want to believe it.

In fact, I don't believe it. Why should I? Avery denies the allegations outright, saying that it's likely the handiwork of his many enemies. In fact, I don't know why that wasn't the headline: "Avery Framed by Enemies." The Daily News is probably just afraid that these mysterious and powerful enemies will turn on them. After all, these shadowy figures are like chess grandmasters, seeing 10 or 20 moves ahead. Consider:

First they planted Avery's name and private cell phone number in the database of a prostitution ring. Then they arranged for a federal investigation to out Elliot Spitzer as a client of a different prostitution ring, knowing that the increased media attention in the wake of that scandal would lead to further digging into prostitution in general. Then they orchestrated the leak of database to the Daily News, and here we are.

Damn you, enemies of Sean Avery! I won't stand idly by while you smear one of the NHL's greatest heroes!

(Please remember this post if I ever get busted for hiring prostitutes. After a rousing defense like this, Avery's enemies have got to be plenty pissed at me, too.)

Credit where it's due.

OK- nobody shits on the NHL promotions more than I do.

That ridiculous gladiator campaign, the Keanu Reeves "Come and Get it Boys" spot, that thing where they had the chick form Heroes licking the Cup, whatever. The NHL has traditionally been awful at promoting itself.

My stance has always been, if you want to see hockey, show hockey at it's best. Show the game, show the plays show the history. Or, barring that, just let Canadians do it. Seriously, they have a better feel for this kind of stuff.

Then, this clip that I just saw for the first time during tonight's Flyers/Devils game (Lets go Devils! In Regulation!) finally did the trick.

This here is an excellent, excellent hockey promo.

Gave me goosebumps when I saw it for the first time, then did once again when I watched it here on YouTube.



Great job NHL- never let it be said I don't give credit when it's due.

Retaliation for Begin hit?

As I write this, the Boston Bruins have won two games in a row without Marc Savard, the teams leading scorer, and arguably, ALL of their offense. Granted, the bench has stepped it up considerably, with guys like Peter Schaeffer and Phil Kessel finding the back of the net, but if Savard is out for the playoffs, or even playing with an injury that seriously hampers his ability to produce offense, it's safe to say that the Bruins chances of doing anything in the playoffs are effectively nil.

Savard was cross-checked in the back by Montreal's Steve Begin, and according the Boston Herald, has broken a small bone in his back. Granted, the article goes on to say that if you break your back, this is the best way to do it, but still- a guy on a team that has humiliated the Bruins all season long has taken out their leading scorer on a dirty play that was not penalized.

Now, with the Bruins seeming to solidify their standing, there is a pretty good chance that they will be facing the Canadiens in the playoffs. So if that happens, the question becomes, what happens to Begin? Are there going to be headhunters going after him?

I remember a time in this league when I relished seeing the "Kill Ulf" banners that hung in the old Boston Garden, and when the Penguins came to town, Sammuelson found himself a healthy scratch. Somehow, back in those days, that seemed like a lot of fun, frontier justice, and if he's going to do the crime, he better expect to pay a penalty.

But now, in the era of the NHL when the Todd Bertuzzi/Steve Moore incident still hasn't faded away, it's hard to really root for violent retaliation. And I don't think it's out of line to draw the comparison. When the Bertuzzi incident happened, Steve Moore had hit Marcus Naslund, the Canucks leading scorer up high in a previous game, in an unpenalized incident. During the next game, the Avalanche were blowing out the Canucks, embarrassing them. Obviously, I can't defend Bertuzzi's actions, but the circumstances were certainly volatile.

And now, with the Bruins, we have a leading scorer knocked out, and an embarrassed team, who has lost every single game against the Canadiens this year. I'd like to say that if the team meets in the playoffs that somebody like Lucic, Chara, Reich, or Shawn Thornton squares off with Begin fair and square, and they settle it at center ice, but I don't know. If it goes badly, and Begin is seriously hurt in a similar manner to the way Moore was, I'm not sure the game could survive it.

Something to think about.

A musical message for the Toronto Maple Leafs:

Yeah, I know I've done this before, but I just hate the stupid Maple Leafs so much, I just can't help it.

Weird.

I thought that Leafs fell in the autumn.

Battle Roy-al

OK- So you guys have heard about the big fight with Patrick Roy's son right?

It looks like he really got his nose out of joint.

(snicker)

I mean, you never know, this kind of thing is big news in Canada, but here in the states, we're all about college basketball and the Red Sox in Japan. Seriously, the only way the American press is going to cover something Patrick Roy's son does is if the governor of New York crosses state lines to have sex with him.

And you never know. Here in the tri-state region, our governors are horny as hell.

But, anyway, for those of you who didn't know, here's a capsule review from Small White Ball:

In a QMJHL playoff game between bitter rivals Quebec and Chicoutimi, Quebec was losing 7-1 when things got a bit chippy as they tend to do when you're getting your collective asses handed to you. During some 5-on-5 brawl time, Quebec head coach and all-time NHL great Patrick Roy ordered his goalie to skate down and fight the other goalie. After several attempts, he broke free and it was on. After pummeling Chicoutimi's netminder, the Remparts' goalie then battled a defenseman on his way off his ice.

He's got the Youtube videos on his site too, but it's all in French, and I didn't really feel like embedding it.

Both Roy's were suspended for the incident, and the younger Roy showed yet another flash of his father when he said "I cannot hear anything they say, because I have two middle fingers plugging my ears."

Old Time Hockey Meets New Media

Regular readers of this blog know that I've been involved with online media - podcasting and the like - for quite some time (obligatory Unleashed plug here). So it should come as no surprise that I'm a subscriber to the various podcasts made available by the NHL. Like much of what the league does promotion-wise, they kind of suck. I mean, it's not that the content is BAD, exactly, it just falls way short of its potential.

For the most part, the podcasts appear to be chopped-up segments from the NHL's weekly Westwood One/XM radio show:

THE GOOD

Doc's Classic NHL

Doc Emrick, who may be the best play-by-play man in the league, hosts a weekly feature highlighting some the sport's seminal figures. For those of us who didn't grow up with the game, it's a great way to get caught up on the last hundred years or so, in an easy-to-swallow capsule form. (NOTE: Actual swallowing not necessary). From this week's piece on Gordie Howe, I learned that Mr. Hockey actually came out of retirement in his mid-forties to play on a line with his two sons in the then-nascent WHA. It gives me hope that Martin Brodeur will stick around long enough to back up his goaltender son, assuming that a) Lou Lamoriello signs him and b) cloning technology has not been perfected by the time Marty is ready to hang it up.

THE BAD

That Announcer Voice

The one that says "Visit NHL.com for the latest stats, scores, news, and highlights." It is terrifying. They put more computerized vocal effects on that guy than Britney Spears, and with an equally appealing result. I understand that hockey is an extremely manly sport, but that throaty, borderline-Satanic rumble makes Barry White sound like Paul Lynde. It's a little much.

THE UGLY

Sam Rosen

Can anyone explain to me how this guy has a job in broadcasting? You've heard the expression "He's got a face for radio?" Well, Sam Rosen does. But he's also got a voice for silent movies. I understand the NHL offers a 20-hour-a-week internship just squeegeeing up the spittle that collects on the inside window of the Rangers' broadcast booth (3 credits, must be a currently-enrolled college student). Seriously, Sam Rosen makes Sylvester the Cat sound like David Niven. (NOTE: This will be the last "A makes B sound like C" joke in this post, unless I think of another one).

So what to do?

One solution would be to follow the example of owners like the Capitals' Ted Leonsis who, as you may have heard, is leading the charge when it comes to exploiting (in a positive way) the enthusiasm and creativity of the fan community. Believe it or not, we can be more than Score-O contestants and t-shirt gun targets. A more deeply involved fan community will have more cause to be evangelical when it comes to promoting the game...there's an army out here waiting to be mobilized, and a country waiting to be reintroduced to the greatest sport there is. Check out this, this, this, and this for a few samples of what AHF did in DC with some home video equipment, hardly any preparation, and zero budget. With the full cooperation of the league, and some dedicated resources, we (the collective we) could do so much more.

There are people who read this blog who aren't even hockey fans...and I think it's because of the unique editorial perspective we provide (also the Lauren Pronger pictures). And as true fans of the game, I know the staff at AHF would love nothing better than to help the effort to it regain its former standing. But it will take some open minds at NHL Headquarters, and admittedly no small amount of courage to relinquish some modicum of control over the brand in an effort to find the real pulse of the fan community.

Or, you know- we can leave it to the guys who design hockey stick sculptures.

Happy Anniversary, Ron Tuggnut:

March 21st, 1991: Ron Tugnutt plays a game so extraordinary that he works his way into the American Hockey Fan Hall of Fame:

"Greatest Goaltending Performance by a Player Whose Name Sounds Vaguely Dirty."




Condolences to our runner-up, Darren Puppa.

Thanks to Kukla and Joe Pelletier's Greatest Hockey Legends for the find...

Things I hate more than Alexei Kovalev:

-Hitler
-Eye Pain
-The suffering of innocent children
-Rachel Ray
-Gruesome anti-smoking ads with photos of cancer riddled lungs.
-That watery feeling you get in your mouth seconds before you vomit.
-pouring a bowl of cereal into a bowl, realizing you have no milk, and having to pour the cereal back into the box.
-Al Q'aida
-

Jesus, I hate Alexei Kovalev.

Happy 60th, Bobby Orr!

Apparently, the Bruins are running some kind of video tribute tonight to Bobby Orr in honor of his 60th birthday today.

Happiest of happy birthdays to the best who ever played.

Here's a great clip I found on Youtube of a Bobby Orr compilation taken from WSBK TV38, where I used to watch the Bruins all the time as a kid.

(Warning- this clip might not be safe for work, if you work someplace where your employer frowns on you yelling "You gotta be fucking kidding me!" and "Holy Shit!" That's what I did while watching this.)



I'll tell ya, if the Bruins can't pull some inspiration from this, I don't what'll get 'em going.

Maybe Dana Hersey and the Movie Loft?

(I'm a particular fan of the way Dana says the word "Pappy."

How it came to this.

Well, now that we have returned from Washington DC, and our trip to the press box, the question on everyone's lips has been: "How the hell exactly did you pull that off?"

The answer to that question is simple.

We pulled this off for one reason, and one reason only. Ted Leonsis, the owner of the Washington Capitals, is an extraordinary man, a forward thinking hockey promoter and a class act. Even if you have any reason to doubt my first three assertions, you simply must agree with my final one:

The man is a hell of a good sport.

For over a year, Ted Leonsis was a favorite target of this blog, both in posts and even in a sidebar category, entitled, if my memory serves, "Multinational corporations or executives who despite having access to mammoth promotional budgets or media empires of their own have nonetheless started blogs in a pathetic attempt to seem 'with it."

At the time, my view of blogs was slightly narrower than it is today. I viewed blogs as something that gave people with no access to the mainstream media a platform for their words and pictures to be seen around the world. If you were in charge of a major media outlet, you already HAD a voice- so if you came down off the top of the food chain to steal our extremely tiny slice of the pie, you were an enemy, plain and simple.

So when I heard that the owner of the Washington Capitals had a blog, I was a little testy to begin with, a feeling that only intensified when I read Ted's 101 list, a collection of "life accomplishments and goals" which I still find a little flabbergasting. I didn't know at the time that this list was created after he had survived an airline crash, and he used it in part to motivate himself to rise to the position he now occupies. Had I known this, I may have gone a little easier on him. But not knowing that, I felt that it came off a little braggy, and that was all I needed. I took every opportunity to mock, goof on, and ridicule this symbol of the high and mighty hockey owner who somehow hadn't found the time to accomplish his stated goal of owning a mountain home (#27 on the list) despite the fact that he'd had an entire canceled hockey season to look for one.

And that was a big part of it as well. I've still never really forgiven the NHL for cancelling an entire season, blowing their TV deal, and generally marketing the game without seeming to understand the things that make it great. Is it all the owners fault? Probably not. But they all had a voice in this, certainly a greater one than the fans, who were the ones who suffered, and then in droves, left. As an American Hockey Fan, I've been pissed at a lot of people who I hold responsible for the lowered national standing of the greatest game on earth. I picked on a lot of people around the league, with the same reckless abandon and salty humor I learned from watching the old Boston Garden Gallery Gods, who I used to sit in awe of at Bruins games when I was a kid. I'd sit there listening to them bang on those old yellow heating units at the top of the old Garden as they rained down profanity and blue collar wit on officials, slacking members of the Bruins and their hated opponents alike.

If going to Fenway Park was like visiting a holy cathedral to baseball, going to the old Garden for a Bruins game was like hanging out on a pirate ship. As Fred Cusick remembers in his book " Voice of the Bruins" one famous heckle happened to then coach Harry Sinden in the late 1960's, when after a particularly embarrassing loss, one fan yelled "Hey Harry! There's a bus leaving for Oklahoma in the morning! Be under it!"

Well, I don't live in Boston anymore, the atmosphere in rinks around the country is certainly a tad more civil than it was back in the rough and tumble days (at least sometimes it is) and I felt that if the league itself either wouldn't or couldn't promote and market itself while including some of the swashbuckling, irreverent fun that has always been a part of hockey for me, well, I'd better do my best to make sure someone is.

And so, based on that flash decision, Ted Leonsis became another colorful bad guy in a list of villains that included Gary Bettman, the Versus Network, hack sportswriters who pick on hockey, Ulf Samuelsson, and whoever thought it was a good idea to cut away from playoff overtime to show the pregame of a frigging horserace.

By the way, that is not a complete list.

Maybe I need a 101 list of my own.

I digress.

Either way, I'd dump on Ted whenever the chance arose, and I was doing just that last year, around the beginning of the 2007-2008 season when yes, I stepped over a line. I'm not sure if Ted Leonsis was aware of the existence of AmericanHockeyFan.com when I called him a douchebag, or an ego case, but when I called him a child molester?

He paid attention.

OK, I didn't really call him a child molester. Or at least, not in a serious way. Just in a kind of kidding around way, you know, the way I once asserted that my friend Eric, the lawyer and Ranger Fan may have been into German Fecal Porn. I mean, I said I didn't know if he was or he wasn't. Either way, yeah- I mentioned Ted's name, and very well might have said something potentially libelous.

Turns out he didn't find it funny. It was certainly not the smartest thing I've ever done, but sadly, not the dumbest either.

But if I suspected that the aforementioned post wasn't my finest hour, I was certainly reminded of that fact when, the next day, I received an email at my AmericanHockeyFan email address entitled "Was that post really necessary?"

You go ahead and guess who sent it.

I won't disclose in this story any actual quotes that Ted wrote me, as they were not written with the expectation of publication, but the gist of the very brief, polite note was to ask me if I would reconsider using his name on my blog in that manner. Now, I don't know what you do when a billionaire asks you to "reconsider something" but when it happens to me, I fucking reconsider, and fast.

I knew that if Ted Leonsis wanted to make my life unpleasant, unpleasant it would become. My image of myself as glorious crusader in the tradition of the Gallery Gods was fast disintegrating into that of the unfortunate Flyers fan who after screaming at Tie Domi and banging on the glass had the terrible misfortune of falling into the penalty box with him.

I was in a pickle.

While I was deciding what to do about this, I quickly put up two other posts, to push the offending blog post down the page, and called, well- my buddy Eric, you remember, the lawyer who I accused of maybe being into German Fecal Porn? (He's not, by the way.) After a brief discussion, Eric told me that my best course of action was to take the post down. While the constitution might be on my side, and he stressed MIGHT, (See: People versus Larry Flynt) he told me that when it came to resources, there was no way I could afford a court battle if Ted wanted one, and if he did, it would hurt me far more than it would hurt him.

I also forwarded Ted's email to Ben, my co-writer and engineer here at AHF with the caption "Now what?"

Ben replied with the following 14 word email:

"Uh, take it the fuck down? That guy could sue us off the planet."

I listened to the advice of both of my friends, thought about it carefully over the weekend, then sent Mr. Leonsis the following email:

Mr. Leonsis-

Ritch Duncan here, from American Hockey Fan.

First off, I am flattered that you took the time to respond to me. I am a comedian and a satirist, and it is rare, especially in this medium, that the target of satire takes the time to respond to one's work. Additionally, I'd like to thank you for your persistent and dogged support of the hockey blogging community. You have been the unquestioned leader among all hockey owners in terms of granting access and legitimacy to this young art form, and I commend you for it.

Secondly, this is not the first time that a prominent member of the hockey community has taken issue with my writing, and as I have done in the past, I am happy to discuss this in private, instead of splashed across the front of my blog. While in the short term, posting that you emailed me would certainly have boosted my readership, in the long term it would have compounded the problem, something I am reluctant to do without first letting you know where I am coming from. You did me the honor of writing me a polite note expressing your feelings, and I am happy to do you the same courtesy.

You have asked me two things: one if that post was really necessary, and two, if I would reconsider using your name in this manner in my blog.

As to your first question, "necessity" is hard to quantify. I'm not writing about life and death here, I'm writing comedy for hockey fans, and hockey fans happen to be an irreverent lot. One could very easily argue that much of the dialogue in the movie Slap Shot isn't necessary, nor are many of the outlandish statements of a Don Cherry or Sean Avery, but regardless, there is a precedent for it in the entertainment this community enjoys.

To answer the second question first, I have been reconsidering "using your name in this manner," all weekend long in fact, and to provide a small bit of cover while I have been, I have put up two more posts, something I normally don't do over the weekend, to at the very least push the controversial post down the page. Additionally, while you were not specific about the manner in which your name was used, I'll go ahead and assume you are taking issue with the satirical assertion I made that you might be interested in molesting children.

If that is the case, rest assured, I don't have any reason to believe that you want to have sex with children, and I think the post makes that pretty clear. The post is based on a silly cartoon, and the issue of molestation is only brought up to provide an entry point into making fun of your 101 list and your commercial with Alex Ovechkin.

I have given a great deal of thought about the question of either editing out the references to child molestation or removing the post altogether, and I'd like to be upfront about why exactly I am uncomfortable with that. From a first amendment perspective, the idea of censoring or removing an obvious joke at the expense of a public figure, especially a joke that no right-thinking person could possibly interpret as true, merely because said public figure finds it offensive sets a horrible precedent. Additionally, if I remove a post, I owe it to my readers to explain why I have removed or edited my work, and that could again, make this issue larger than it need be.

Either way, I would be happy to reassure you that I will never again refer to your name in the context of molesting children ever again on my blog.

Best of luck in the upcoming season,

Ritch Duncan

Again, without permission, I won't reprint what he wrote me back, but I will say that he wrote me a long, thoughtful response, explaining that by doing what I did, I was in fact hurting my standing in the blogging community and my site's standing. He also explained a bit about his background, the fact that he had written the list at age 24 as the result of a plane crash, was a son of an immigrant and how as a young man he used to haunt the comedy clubs in Boston. He described the kind of comedy that I was using in that post as the same kind of lazy comedy he recognized from amateurs, an accusation that certainly applied to that post. He went on to say he respected my standing on a first amendment right, and as a proponent of blogs he would let it slide, adding that I was a writer who was clearly better than that post. He thanked me for my response and signed off.

At that point, I felt like a bit of an idiot.

An idiot who was relieved that he wasn't about to get sued off the planet, sure, but an idiot just the same. Here was a guy who I had depicted as a two-dimensional ass, responding with integrity to a half bit punk who had given him no real reason to. I immediately took his name out of my sidebar, and removed all reference to him in the offending post. Not because I had to, or the law compelled me to, but because the guy had won me over. He could have smashed this blog and me to pieces, but he didn't, because he recognized something that I somehow didn't for quite a while.

Blogs are for everybody.

It doesn't matter how much money you make, whether you own a media outlet, a hockey team, or whether you even own a computer. If you have access to a library, you can get your words to the world, and he wasn't willing to crack down on that, even when he was the target of a stupid, immature assault that he had every reason to demand be taken down, and yet he didn't demand it.

He's a guy who feels like the internet is the future of hockey, and he let it slide.

I sent him the following note:

Thanks, Ted-

How about that for an irony? The second you stand up for your constitutional right to call a guy an idiot, he ends up responding in such an upfront manner that you don't much want to anymore.

You make sensible points, and I'll amend the blog.

Good luck with this Backstrom kid, I'll be watching.

Best,

Ritch Duncan

He replied with a simple thank you, and low and behold, several days later he emailed me to ask if I'd like to come watch a Bruins game from the Press Box sometime, with a full press credential. I immediately shot him off the following note:

Ted, that's a tremendously nice offer.

Heck, had I known you were such a gentleman, I'd have called you a child molester years ago...

Here's hoping both the Caps and Bruins are healthy and competing for a playoff spot when March rolls around!

Cheers,

Ritch

And so it was written and so it was done. Scroll down for the fruits of our trip.

The only regret I have about the trip was it fell during Spring Break, so Ted was on vacation and I didn't get the chance to shake his hand and thank him to his face.

So I guess at the end of the day, I have the following advice for those of you sports bloggers who are interested in getting press credentials:

I am not, repeat, not saying that it is ever a good idea to irresponsibly and potentially libelously call a billionaire a child molester. Doing so is reckless, stupid and likely to land you in serious trouble.

I'm just saying it worked out pretty well for me.

As I have said over and over since I started this blog, the National Hockey League will grow and prosper on the strength of not just of it's game, which has no equal, but of it's characters, and I am here to tell you that Ted Leonsis is one of them.

Many thanks once again to Ted, his team, and support staff at the Verizon Center, who made our stay a pleasant one. Believe me when I say this, I sincerely hope that the Carolina Hurricanes don't win another single goddamn game this season.

Lets Go Caps.

You know, unless they meet the Bruins in the playoffs.

I have my integrity too, after all.

In all seriousness-

- Many thanks to Ted Leonsis, Kurt Kehl, the Washington Capitals, Boston Bruins, National Hockey League and all of the staff and crew here at the Verizon Center.

We had a great time, and hope we could show you a side of the game that the average American Hockey Fan doesn't see that often. And no, I'm not just talking about me watching hockey sober.

Although I admit, that is rare.

There will be a full wrap up along with more man on the street video when we get back home.

What a great trip.

I mean, who has more fun than us when traveling from New York to Washington?

OK, other than Eliot Spitzer.

Thanks again- See y'all back in the big apple!

So, how'd it end?

We took off early to beat the traffic.

Seriously- help a brother out!

Pre-Shootout Update

Ritch: still not drunk.

More on this as it develops.

Great overtime-

Wow-

If the B's pull this out, you're looking at Alex Auld as your number one star.

Shootout to come.

To Overtime we go-

Bonus hockey!

With a win, the Bruins will move ahead of the Rangers.

Fuck this, I'm watching hockey.

AHF Live Videoblog #4

I saw the Geico Caveman in the Men's Bathroom.

I'm serious.

I'm standing there in between the second and third period, waiting to take a leak.

The caveman walks in.

I don't say anything, because really, what do you say? This poor guy has been waving at people non-stop for the last two periods, answering hockey trivia and riding around on the zamboni.

I figured I could let the dude piss in peace, without saying something like "Hey- no painting on the walls, OK?"

But honestly, it was kind of like a Geico commercial. just the two of us, wating for an available urinial when the caveman pipes up.

"Hey- do you do standup?"

I do do stand up so I look back at the caveman and say- "um- yeah."

He says "Yeah, I've performed with you before- it's Eric Andres under all this makeup."

Eric is a very funny guy, by the way.

Check out his standup here.

Taking a quick break from posting video

to report that this might be the first hockey game I've been to with Ritch where he wasn't hammered.

AHF: Professionalism Above All

I'm missing a hell of a game here.

One one tie, big hits, great goaltending, and I'm staring at a computer.

Great penalty kill here by the B's.

Wideman on the Bruins just barely held a puck in at the Capitol blue line in the last seconds of the second period. It looked to me like he kept it in, but the linesman blew it dead on an offside. I remarked, "Boy, I don't know about that- he was closer to that than I was, but it looked to me like he kept it in. I'd really like another look at that."

Then, my wife Rachel, who is here doing the on camera interviews for our man on the street video (already shot, needs to be edited) dryly remarked "replay booth is right there, why don't you stop by?"

I decided not to.

I mean what am I supposed to do, knock on the door and say "Hi- Ritch Duncan from American Hockey Fan. So, was that a bullshit offsides or what? Thanks for clearing that up. "

I was just handed another media report, this time for the second period.

Now the Capitals are 0-12 when shooting 5 on 5, 0-4 when skating 5 on 4, 0-3 when skating 4 versus 5, and still 1-1 when skating 5 on 3.

I mean, if you're not gonna take my advice, I don't know what to do for ya.

3rd period starts in 6:00 minutes.

More to come.

AHF Live Videoblog #3

AHF Live Videoblog #2

TIE GAME

Kobasew ties the game on the powerplay with a blazing slapshot from the slot off a pass from Lucic.

I scream "Yeah!" Then immediately felt guilty. You don't want to be Mr. fanboy in the press box after all.

I'll tell ya, the Caps really do it right- after every goal and penalty they make a special announcement telling you who, what and when.

They say "Attention Media, that penalty again, was number 12, Chuck Kobasew on an assist from Milan Lucic."

I'll tell ya, it must be crazy up here for basketball.

BIG SAVE by Auld on a quirky play behind the Bruin net.

I yelled again.

It's tough, when you like hockey so much and all.

The second period is under way-

Of the Caps-Bruins game, or as I'm calling it, the "NHL Head Coach Alfred Hitchcock Look-alike Contest."





Here's hoping nobody starts bleeding. I'll just find out later that it was only chocolate syrup.

First Intermission recap:

So far the Caps and the Bruins have been pretty evenly matched, with the five on three being the difference.

Seeing the way the Bruins won the two team's last matchup, (two late goals both scored on five on threes) it's not hard to think the hockey gods are offering a little payback.

I'm looking around the press area, and I was just handed an updated score sheet, filled with stats. The stat sheet is pretty cool, and has all kinds of breakdowns.

Apparently while playing 5 on 5 hockey, the Caps have taken 5 shots for 0 goals, while playing 5 on 4, they have taken 1 shot for no goals, and while playing 5 on three, they have taken 1 shot for 1 goal.

I'm no hockey coach, but if I'm Bruce Boudreau, I'm telling my guys to keep up that 5 on 3 play.

Stick to what works, I always say.

Live from the Verizon Center, Part Two

We're up here in the rafters of the Verizon Center, and it's a lot like being a kid and reading your Dad's porn. A lot of fun, but I keep looking over my shoulder and hoping that nobody finds out what I'm doing and busts me for it.

Also, I'm masturbating.

That's not wrong, right?

Crap.

Federov just scored on a five on three, in the last seconds of the first period.

With any Luck, Backstrom will tie it up for us.

AHF Live Videoblog #1

We're here!

Sitting in the Press box of the Verizon center!

So far, I've chatted with Andy Brickley, done some man on the street interviews, seen the Bruins warming up with some pre-game soccer and eaten a half of slice of cold pizza.

Stay tuned for more updates, this is fun as hell.

The Geico Caveman is here as well, or as we're referring to him, Chris Chelios.

0-0 in the first.

Stay tuned.

On the road!

Heading to DC now.

We'll be on the scene as the Bruins attempt to drive a stake through the heart of the Washington Capitals' playoff hopes.

The Caps still have two games remaining against Southeast division leading Carolina, so if this one goes bad for the Caps, (or good, to be honest) expect the crowd to be scoreboard watching for the 'Canes/Ottawa game.

More after 3:00 from the nation's capital!

GUTSY WIN FOR THE B'S!

Great win for the Bruins.

Sadly for me, I had DVR'd the game today, because I had to work during the afternoon, so I was looking forward to watching the game when I got home.

After I finished with work, I saw that I had two voicemail messages.

The first was from my buddy Sully, who is more of a baseball fan than a hockey fan. The second was from a number I didn't recognize.

I called Sully before listening to the message.

"Hey Dude- it's Ritchie. Before you say anything, I'm DVRing the game, so don't say a word if it's about the Bruins."

"Oh. Yeah, no prob. I left a message with my kids saying hi to you." Sully has a pair of twin boys who are just hitting speaking age, and I appreciated the call.

I figured the first call was Sully's kids and the second call was probably something work related or a freelance gig.

I listen to my messages.

The first messages are Sully's kids, being just about as cute as you would expect a couple of kids saying "Hi Ritchie" would be. If you don't think that's cute, you probably aren't named Ritchie.

It was cute as hell.

The second message I was mildly worried about, as since I've started this blog, lots of people I know occasionally call me when they are flipping through the channels and see my favorite hockey team winning or losing.

I figured I'd listen to the first bit of the message, and if it was hockey related, I'd hang up.

I listen to the second message and it's my pal Duben.

The first three words are:

Dude- B's won.

After those words, I begin to hear "in over-" and I hang up.

The damage had been done.

Jesus F'n Christ.

Still, the B's won, and in overtime, which has got to be agony for Washington, where we are going tomorrow.

We leave at 9:00 AM and shoudl arrive in DC around 1:30

Game starts at 3:00.

Stay tuned.

Bad Day For The Caps-

- Well, what with our big trip to Washington coming up tomorrow, I couldn't help noticing that with the Capitals big win over the Thrashers last night, and Carolina getting whipped by Buffalo, that puts the Caps 3 points behind 8th place Philly, and four behind 7th place Boston.

The only problem?

Boston plays Philly this afternoon, and one of those teams is gonna get two points. Plus, with Buffalo beating the Canes, that puts them a point behind Philly for 9th.

These are the games when you hate the extra overtime point system. In the old days, Caps fans would just decide to not watch that game. These days, they have to actively root against a tie. Or barring a tie, a time machine, so they could go back to last October and lobby to promote former Hyannisport President Bruce Boudreau a couple months early.

However, if Boston, still playing without Captain Zdeno Chara, decide to boot it in regulation this afternoon, then again in DC on Sunday, which is a distinct possibility given their soccer-like offensive output versus Tampa Bay the other night, this race has the potential to get really interesting. Especially when you consider that Tampa has now won two straight, has scored 14 goals in it's last three games, and plays the 6th place New York Rangers tonight.

American Hockey Fan To Liveblog in Washington D.C.

Yep- you heard me.

This Sunday, March 16th, Ben and I will be traveling down to Washington DC to liveblog the matinee contest between the Bruins and the Washington Capitals.


Through a series of events so strange and so bizarre that I cannot even begin to elaborate on now, we have been invited by Caps owner Ted Leonsis to set up in, and blog from, the press box.

[ulp]

We have a couple of other tricks up our sleeve, so check back in regularly on Sunday, as we hope to be putting up fresh off the concourse video (pending official OK to do so), crack commentary of the game and the race for 8th in the East, and an exclusive interview with Ovechkin.

Of course, I'm referring to Stanislav Ovechkin, the Recruiting Specialist at the METRO Cash and Carry Ukraine, but let's face it, despite our fancy credentials, we're not that big time yet, and an Ovechkin is an Ovechkin.

Oh, and later this week, stay tuned for the story of how we got invited to Washington.

It's a seriously remarkable story.

I love the NHL network.

OK- so I'm watching a rerun of a Boston/Montreal playoff game from 1988, and as the camera pans across an image of Bruin goaltender Reggie Lemelin swiping the snow out of his crease, I hear the classic Bruins broadcast team of announcer Fred Cusick and color man Derek Sanderson having the following back and forth:

DEREK: They talk about the loneliness of the long distance runner. The loneliness of a goaltender when he's back there alone...

FRED: (chuckles) Would you repeat that?

DEREK: Why?

FRED: "The loneliness of the goaltender when he's back there alone?"

DEREK: Yeah, it just...it just... kind of hit me. Touched my heart there for a minute. There's Reggie-

FRED: Well, what you need to say is, when he's back there- in the nets.

DEREK: uh...

FRED: Don't repeat the loneliness.

DEREK: Well, OK. I stand corrected. You're lucky I don't take umbrage with that remark.

FRED: Yeah. Oooo.

DEREK: I had to get that word in, somewhere during the night.

(LONG PAUSE)

FRED: Casper, Skrudland (PUCK DROPS) And the draw is back for Thelvin, he can clear it quickly, and he did...


Best. Announcers. Ever.

(With apologies to Andy Brickley, who is becoming a hell of a color man himself these days.)

Well-

-since I don't much feel like talking about the Bruins game last night, I'll toot my own horn a little.

As some of you know, over the past 6 months or so, I have been freelancing off and on over at the Public Radio International show "Fair Game." I was in a couple weeks ago, and pitched a comedy bit I called "The McLaughlin Groove," the idea being that we take nutty transcripts from the venerable political chat show "The McLaughlin Group," and set them to a beat. I DVR the show every week, here in New York, it comes on right after Meet the Press ends, and for you hockey fans, that's usually the time that Tim Russert will mention the Buffalo Sabres, if they are doing well. So I went ahead and read some of the lines I had heard on the show that week, about John McCain securing the Republican nomination. They were pretty extraordinary, even for the Group. Here's a transcript:

MR. MCLAUGHLIN: Question: Does Romney's endorsement seal the deal? Is McCain now the inevitable Republican nominee? I ask you, Pat.
MR. BUCHANAN: John, absent celestial intervention, I think he's going to get the nomination.
MR. MCLAUGHLIN: Absent what?
MR. BUCHANAN: Celestial intervention.
MR. MCLAUGHLIN: Well, it happens, Pat. May he rest in peace, Paul Wellstone. John Heinz was killed in an airplane crash.
MR. BUCHANAN: Well, let's not speculate on it.
MR. MCLAUGHLIN: Death comes in the night on cats' paws, Pat. You never know.
MR. BUCHANAN: On little cats' feet. That's the fog, John, that comes in on little cats' feet.


Anyway, I pitch the idea in the meeting, mention that those would be dynamite metal lyrics and our music producer Matthew Perpetua yells out "Andrew WK! He'd be great!" I was thrilled to hear that, since I'm a big fan of Andrew's, and to make a long story short, a couple of days later, I'm on the phone with Andrew WK, singing my ideas for lyrics into the phone to a bona fide rock star. He tells me he loves the idea, likes what I wrote, and incorporates it into a terrific little song.

Funny, catchy, Andrew W.K and John McLaughlin.

My assignment ends, the segment airs and everything goes back to normal.

Until the song blows up, and Fair Game, Andrew W.K. and John McLaughlin are all over the blogs.

That's the kind of thing that makes a guy feel good. Of course, it also would make me feel good if the Bruins could score more than 7 times over the past 6 games, but I'll take what I can get these days.

Here are two of my favorite responses, the first by badass animator-guy Scott Bateman, who animated the entire thing brilliantly here:



And the second, from a random fan on YouTube. In my view, the rainbow cat paws are a particular high point.

Why hockey was better in the 80's.

More mustaches, less soul patches.

Everybody remembers the mullets, but I'll tell ya, those soul patches are getting a free ride.

Oh, and what made me think about this was the superb New York Times hockey blog "Slap Shot," who shined a little light on Dennis Maruk, the man whose single season Washington Capitals goal scoring record will likely be broken this season by Alex Ovechkin. His goalscoring record may fall, but his mustache will shine proudly forever.

Oh and yes, I am aware that "Slap Shot" is a terrible name for a hockey blog, especially one that doesn't use foul language. But don't hold that against it. They are actually doing a great job over there.

Just for fun, here are some other terrible Hockey blog names:
(apologies if these are real)

Ice Breakers
Five for Blogging
Haikus about Patrick Roy's Cock and Balls
Open Mike (Keenan)
Zamblogger
The Blog Street Bullies
Jacques Demers' Daily Read
Mike Ricci: ALL NUDE
WWNMD? (What Would Nevin Markwart Do?)

"The last thing you want to do is get into a fight with a broken nose . . . but there you go, it went pretty well."

That quote comes from the toughest 19 year old in the world, and if you haven't gotten a look at Milan Lucic, tune in, because the Bruins are hot, fun to watch, and are sporting a collection of some of the most colorful characters in the NHL today.

Here's a fun profile of Lucic from back in his WHL days.



Here's another clip from the Vancouver Giants, followed by one with him up on the big club.





I'll tell ya, the next step is to get this kid in a Farrelly Brothers movie.

Matter of time folks, matter of time.