American Hockey Fan

That's funny, I didn't think Devils fans liked the Flyers that much...

2010-04-13T09:15:00.001-04:00

Taken by Ben live at the Rock this Sunday

Thanks, Mike.

2010-04-09T03:48:00.001-04:00

Wow.

The Stars went on to win the game after Modano assisted on the first goal, scored the game tying goal with less than three minutes left and scored in the shootout.

Ka-BOOM.

How about that, Texas! Way to go, y'all. It hasn't been announced that this is Modano's final game, but either way, what an amazing display from the fans, opponents, staff at the American Airlines center, on-ice officials, broadcast team, and Modano himself.

Much more at Puck Daddy and Caps blog, but I didn't want this moment to pass unmentioned.

Thanks, Mike.

Also, if he DOESN'T leave, can this video be "exhibit A" at the pitch to hold next year's Winter Classic in Minnesota, with the Stars and the Wild?

Star Wars and hockey:

2010-04-07T18:22:00.001-04:00

So this video is pretty fun if you swing that way:

Of course, the sad reality is The Bruins' Dennis Seidenberg is the real Jedi of the NHL- he's the one who got his hand sliced off. To make matters worse, I was really starting to like this guy, he was one of the Bruins' best defensemen down the stretch, and since he's an unrestricted free agent, he may have played his last game as a Bruin.

Crap.

So, can we get Bitzy back now?

(video h/t Puck Daddy)

Boston Globe Sports Headline For Easter Sunday:

2010-04-03T22:26:00.000-04:00

HAIL SATAN

(I wish)

Oof.

2010-04-01T21:29:00.000-04:00

Jesus.

What a nutpunch of a hockey game that was.

I guess it makes sense that you just have those games from time-to-time. You throw everything at the goaltender and it just doesn't go. But after 75 games, in which you weren't scoring really at all?

Against a non-playoff team?

That didn't even dress Byron Bitz?

You're killing me, Bruins. You're killing me.

OK, this means you gotta beat Washington.

At least once.

This blog has moved

2010-03-31T17:37:00.001-04:00

This blog is now located at http://americanhockeyfan.blogspot.com/.
You will be automatically redirected in 30 seconds, or you may click here.

For feed subscribers, please update your feed subscriptions to
http://americanhockeyfan.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default.

Hit up Sean Avery's Bar Tonight-

2010-03-31T02:08:00.000-04:00

Thanks to the generosity of a friend, I found myself sitting in the corporate club seats at the Rock tonight to watch the Bruins keep their playoff hopes alive with a 1-0 win in overtime.

It was a hard grinding game with neither team getting a lot of time or space in between the face-off dots. While I had fun, there wasn't much scoring, so when it was all over, we were in the mood for a little additional excitement, and decided to hop off the PATH train at the World Trade Center stop, and swing by Warren 77, (Sean Avery's Soho bar) for a post game drink. We had done this the last time the Bruins played the Devils, it's in walking distance from the train station, and exactly the right mix between hip downtown, and hockey cool. It's a good spot for a nightcap- especially after a hockey game.

You want the vibe?

There's an autographed Martin Brodeur picture behind the bar, and this is the picture that's hanging in the bathroom.

No labels, you either get it or you don't, and we got it. It was fun.

But even though I enjoyed myself, and I'll be back- there were elements of the place that might irritate a hockey purist.

The first time we stopped by, we paid our check with a credit card, and got our receipt clipped to a postcard of a soft focus color photo of what looked to be an old time hockey shot of the Rangers playing the Blackhawks. We thought it was from either an old NHL game, or perhaps taken on the set of that Rocket Richard movie that featured Avery playing Bob Dill. Since we honestly didn't know what the story was, we asked the bartender, a Hispanic dude in his 30's. He looked at the postcard and said, with a completely straight face: "It's old. From the 1840's."

We were pretty sure that the Rangers weren't facing off against the Blackhawks before the Civil War, so we asked for clarification, and after some waffling, he admitted he didn't really know. It was pretty funny, we busted his balls a little, and he was a good sport, but still- if you're handing out a hockey photo with every check, shouldn't you know the story there? We were discussing it tonight, and figured it's probably not from Avery's movie, since why would there be a scene featuring Blackhawks/Rangers in a movie about Rocket Richard? Then, we figured since the Rangers last cup prior to 1994 was in 1940, there's a good chance the bartender had heard it was from 1940, and maybe not being a big hockey fan, just jumbled it up. But if that's a shot from the 1940's Rangers, why are they playing the Blackhawks? The team they beat for the cup that year was Toronto, so wouldn't they grab a pic from that series?

Who knows?

Not us.

Then, tonight we had another kind of lame incident. My buddy was wearing a Bruins jersey, and this cute blonde chick seated at one of the booths shouted at him is a flirty/antagonistic way- "Is that a Bruins T-shirt?" My buddy looked a little confused and said "um- it's a jersey" She replied "Jersey, T-shirt, same thing-why are you wearing it in a Rangers bar?!" I looked back at her and asked, "If this is a hockey bar, shouldn't you know the difference between a jersey and a T-Shirt?"

She kinda shrugged, gave up and said "I just work here."

Oh.

Don't get me wrong, we had a good time, I'll go back, and I enjoyed myself, but that's the kind of fake, not-so classy stuff that leaves a not-so-great taste in your mouth, you know?

The whole experience was kind of like- well...kind of like Sean Avery.

So you know- it was perfect.

Highly recommended.

Addressing the Comments-

2010-03-19T14:40:00.001-04:00

I started writing this in the comments section of my post from yesterday, but it got a little long, so I've moved it to it's own post.

The post suggested that the Pittsburgh game could have been a character building evening for the Bruins, and further suggested that if Sidney Crosby responded to the talk of running or injuring superstars by dropping the gloves like some of the other, more physical captains in NHL history, he could diffuse the situation on his own, and give his team some momentum after getting run off the rink by New Jersey all year.

First off, wow- that stirred the pot!

And now, to address a few points:

-The Bruins only put 17 shots on goal last night, at least two of which were met with mock cheers. You're not going to win like that, and frankly, an effort like that makes the post I wrote kind of moot. Sidney Crosby doesn't need to skin his knuckles for opponents who put up so pathetic an opposition. That said, I still feel that the majority of the comments I received were reactionary, and several of them were downright ignorant. Not all- some. Here they are:

-Miah:
This is one of the good comments, and the concern you raise about Sid getting injured is a valid one. You write that if that were to happen, "The Pens season would be over." Well, exactly. That's where the Bruins are right now. The leading scorer on the Bruins is now done for the season thanks to unpenalized, Pittsburgh thuggery, which is the entire reason the reprehensible talk of running Pittsburgh's stars was brought up.
My thought was if Pittsburgh's stars, specifically Crosby, assumed some leadership (and with it, yes risk of injury) in a standup, straightforward way, it would diffuse the situation, and put any notion that Crosby and the Pens were a cheap, dirty team to rest. As I mentioned, the way the Bruins came out last night for the final two periods, there was no need, which speaks to the Bruins lack of motivation and team identity much more than the Penguins.

Anon#1 writes:
"why talk about Lemieux's non-fighting ways when we could say the same about Gretzky? Didn't have Mario's size or his proclivity to give slashes to the ankles, but should Captain mean "Go fight whenever needed"?"

This is a good point as well- and no, a captain's role is definatley not "go fight whenever needed" but I do think it's "lead by example." And if you're playing a team which is out for blood, and a member of your team was responisble for it, I don't think that suggesting a fight is out of line in this instance. I like that you bring up Mario's "slashes to the ankles." I would never suggest that a captain, simply becuase he wears the C, has to be a fighter. Mario I brought up because he played a chippy, cheap shot kind of game when it suited him, and cried like a spoiled child if anyone gave it back to him. It might be beside my main point, but it's true.

Anon #2: Ha ha! You think I'm a journalist? You say "what a biased joke" this article is. Uh, yeah, dummy. It says "American Hockey Fan" up there. FAN. Not journalist. What, did you think this was- the Globe and Mail?

Anon #3 This is a good comment. It brings up the point that Crosby had wanted to fight Savard earlier this year (last year maybe?) took his visor off, and Savard wouldn't fight. I remember this, and it's a point well taken, even though it obtusely ignores the fact that THE BRUINS NO LONGER HAVE MARC SAVARD. The reason we don't have Marc Savard is not because Sidney Crosby honorably challenged him to a fight, Savard accepted his challenge and got hurt. Marc Savard, (and likely the rest of the Bruins season) is done for the year because of unpenalized thuggery on the part of Matt Cooke, who is a repeat offender. I admire Crosby for taking off his visor in that instance, and am ashamed of Savard for not answering that bell, but it's a very different situation here, and you have huge balls to bring up Savard at all. Was Savard "a chicken" when Matt Cooke hit him from the blind side, knocked him to the ice and gave him a season ending injury? Does he deserve having this happen to him becuase he didn't fight Crosby months ago? All this does is back up my point, that Crosby does have it in him to step up and fight when it's required. You also say that "the leadership Crosby has to show is to tell Matt Cooke that no matter who or how many times the Bruins want to fight 'you are going to fight'." Wow- so that's your idea of a leader? Tell a member of your team that he's on his own? If you're that embarrassed of the guy why not cut him? Or suspend him internally? You really think it's the role of a captain to say "go fight your own battles?" I would think the role of a captian would be to stick up for each and every member of his team and lead by example. If Cooke gets in a straight forward one-on-one fight, then no worries, but I think it's Crosby's job to say "if anybody takes cheap shots or liberties with Matt Cooke, or any other member of this team, I expect you to go after them, and I'll do the same thing."

Sal said:
"From this article I can only assume the only Penguins hockey you've ever watched is highlights of the Savard hit and maybe the hit on Cam Neely based on your comments about Ulf doing some dirty work."
Well, I have seen more Penguins hockey than that, but I did also see both of those hits, both of which were dirty, both of which were on superstars, both were by men with a history of hurting people, and both of which you should be ashamed of.

"How about you suggest that the players on your team quit acting like pussies, man up and fight Cooke so we can all move on."

Um, I did. I didn't say "pussies" but I did say this could be a physical scrap-filled game that could bring the Bruins together as a team, much the way the Dallas game did last season. I also said that "Cooke would get his whuppin." This article wasn't really about Cooke.

"Why should Crosby turn himself into a goon for one game just to satisfy the bloodlust of some braindead Bruins fans?"

OK- look. The point of this is not to satisfy Bruins' fans bloodlust, the point of this was there were a lot of people wringing their hands about some Bruin intentionally hurting Crosby, which is repellent. The reason people are bringing this up in the first place is that is exactly what a member of the Penguins did to a superstar on the Bruins. So, that's not really "bloodlust" and with Savard suffering from a concussion, I'd like to hear maybe a word of condemnation towards Cooke before throwing around terms like "brain dead." And there is a big difference between a fight, between both guys who are facing each other, and a blind side shot. The Bruins didn't create this situation, a member of the Pittsburgh Penguins and the NHL did. I was suggesting that a member of the Pittsburgh Penguins, namely the captain, could have stepped up in an honorable way. I was only suggesting that Crosby become "a goon" if you would also classify guys like Iginla, Ray Bourque, and Mark Messier as goons. I would certainly not.

Anon #4 "Mario Lemieux cried and whined? Are you a fucking idiot?"

Yes he did. Over and over and over again. I may have muddied my point by taking a shot at Mario Lemieux, but am I an F-ing idiot for saying this, not at all, in fact, you kind of are by denying it. It's all on tape dude. Mario Lemieux was arguably the most dynamic offensive talent in NHL history. His undeniable skill was thrilling, and I admire his ability to recover and return from illness and injury. But this guy had about as much class on the ice as Wayne Gretzky did behind the bench. This clip took me about 4 seconds to find online, and if you watch the whole thing, you'll see the Pittsburgh announcers defend him over and over again, until it's obvious that he's a spoiled child throwing a tantrum in a professional game. It's a disgrace.

Pittsburgh fans like to say that I'm somehow making this up because I'm bitter about the way those Pittsburgh teams beat Boston in the early 90's, and while yeah, that sucked, losing to those teams had nothing to do with my negative opinion of Lemieux. Mark Messier beat the Bruins in the cup finals twice, Gretzky did it once, and despite losing to them, I look back on both their careers fondly. Mark Recchi was a member of at least one of those cup-winning teams, and I rejoiced when I heard he was going to be a Bruin. But Mario Lemieux played a style of hockey that said "I'm so much better than everybody else that I deserve different rules" and I don't respect that style of play, no matter how good you are.

Pete wrote:
"it's an interesting notion, but i'm just wondering who you think crosby should fight?"

Well, since he's Crosby's not a goon, he should stay away from career punchers like Thornton, or big fellas like Stuart, Chara or Lucic but there are any number of guys on the Bruins that he could have challenged. His first NHL fight was against Andrew Ference, which I mentioned. It could have been Bergeron, Sturm, Sobokta, Krecji, there's lots of guys in his weight class, and as in a game like this, the Bruins needed a physical answer from everybody. Of course, they didn't do this, so as I said the point is moot, but had the game even partially lived up to the hype, Sid could have found a dance partner.

Anon #5
"Lemieux was a whiner? Idiotic."

"Crosby should fight? Moronic."

"Cooke should and probably will fight, but he'll be smart about it. The Bruins better be, too. If I were Cooke? I'd wait and goad someone like Thornton into taking the extra minor, or I'd fight Chara. Cooke would probably lose that fight, but taking Z off the ice for five minutes is a win for the Penguins."

This is a good comment. Except for denying that Mario was a whiner. I cannot for the life of me see how Pens fans are so blind to that. For the record, Cooke "taking Chara" off the ice for five minutes would be a win for the Penguins. How do you feel about Cooke taking Savard off the ice for the rest of the season? Is that a big win for the Penguins, too? Crosby standing up for himself and the Penguins, as a team, wouldn't be applauded? Wow.

Steve wrote:
Is your Vezina backup playing tonight? If so I think Crosby will let his goals do the talking...

Touche. Thomas hasn't had as good a year as last year. But I'd blame the team in front of him and their lack of scoring much more.

Anon# 6 wrote:
"For those of you who are dumb enough to believe the Lemieux whining or not fighting comments...check this video out" and then said "notice I never denied the cheap shots."

Here's the video he linked.

Yes, Mario did get in a couple of fights in his career, but that last one, where he chases a guy down form behind, slashes him and tackles him kind of supports my point. You even say that you"never denied the cheap shots." Well, if you're gonna live by the sword, you die by the sword, and Mario, over and over again, would throw cheap shots, and react violently when someone did it back. When he wasn't scoring, the guy did not play honorably.

Creasemonster said:

You sir, are an idiot. What exactly is it that Crosby has to prove to the Bruins?

In a regular game, nothing.

"The Pens are LEADING their division (despite their supposed "slide") and are looking to lock up the #2 seed in the East. Two points is more important to them than chest thumping."

All true. But you forget- it was his team's player's dirty cowardly hit, along with the NHL's non-response that started the chest thumping. He's the captain. Just saying.

"If Crosby breaks his hand in a fight, how exactly does that help his team??"

It doesn't at all. And having Marc Savard sitting in a dark room because he's too sensitive to light doesn't help his team. And this was the Penguins fault, leading some to suggest that somebody run Crosby, which could have injured him, which wouldn't have helped the Pens either. I suggested that instead of people wringing their hands about retaliation against Crosby, the guy himself could send a message that he, and the Penguins, can stand up for themselves. That's all.

Anon# 7 wrote:

"Comparing Crosby to Bobby Orr and so forth is ridiculous, different place and time."

Aww, c'mon though. It's fun.

"That guy takes enough crap for being the face of the NHL, and all he does is continue to improve and deliver."

All true. And I was suggesting yet another way his stature could have risen in my eyes. I'm not sure why all these Penguins fans are so afraid of that.

"It will also probably be tough to fight with your Gold medal on while holding the Stanley Cup. Let the goons fight and the skill players play."

Well, trashtalking aside, I'd love to let the goons fight and the skills players play except for your goon knocked out our leading skill player, and didn't allow him to play. So once that happens, where do we go from there, in a situation when the league did nothing? It's a problem, and to solve it, I was suggesting that there was a better way to do this than the Pittsburgh Penguins/Matt Cooke blind side hit on a superstar way. There were some people out there suggesting that Crosby get attacked by a Bruin. I suggested something else.

Anon #8 wrote:
(another version of the Savard/Crosby visor incident and then) "maybe this was the hockey gods taking their revenge on Savard for being not throwing with Crosby!"

I already addressed this, but that last part is really ignorant. OK, here's a hypothetical- say Bergeron challenged Crosby last night, and Crosby decides he doesn't want to go. So Crosby deserves to get a blind-side, season ending concussion from a non skill player with a history of dirty hits? If those are the hockey gods you worship in Pittsburgh, you're doing it wrong.

Gregoire said something that really wasn't clear, and then this:

"If Crosby (or anyone else) answers every Bruin check with one of their own, accept every glove dropping challenge, and stand up to the Bruins mano-a-mano, who "wins"? "

I don't know. What's the score? But either way, he certainly would have played with honor, risen to a potentially ugly challenge, and provided a counterbalance that the Penguins aren't the kind of team that behaves like a gang of Matt Cookes. If that happens, I think Pittsburgh's fans, win- no?

Anon# 9 said:

"Funny..you don't call out adam Oates, or Gretzky, Or Marcel Dionne for not fighting. Only Lemieux."

As I said, Lemieux was a cheap shot artist, which makes him a lot different than those guys, who were all pure class.

"Pittsburgh hockey fans are like anyone else..we like winners. Crosby's job is to score goals and he can't do that from the penalty box."

That is true. And Savard can't dish out assists from his blackened room where your goon put him. And the NHL didn't call a penalty or a suspension. So again- where does that leave us? With people threatening Crosby. If he fights, he takes control of the situation. I can't believe this many Penguins fans are not only stunned by this, but totally blind to the fact that is was a situation their team was responsible for. There is a shocking lack of contrition about that, by the way. All I was doing was asking the captain to take responsibility and lead by example.

"You sir..are an idiot."

Well, I disagree, but appreciate your formality.

Anon# 10 writes:
"Ron Francis or Joe Sakic ...yeah...what terrible captains they were huh?
Let's see...Gretzky (non fighting captain), Lemieux (non fighting captain), Francis (non fighting captain), Sakic (non fighting Captain)...and what do they all have in common? Stanley cups and the hall of Fame."

With the exception of Iginla, (who came one game away, and is still an active player) all the captains I mentioned also have Stanley Cups and are in the Hall of Fame. I didn't suggest that non fighting captains were bad, I just suggested that there were several Hall of Famers who might have faced this situation head-on.

"now sit down and have a nice glass of stfu."

a "nice glass of stfu?" WELL PLAYED! I can't wait too read your next comeback on the front of a Snorg Tees T-shirt! Maybe next time you can put me in my place with a hilarious LOLCatz picture!

BigTommy raised the same, valid (other non-fighting captains) argument, and then said:
"Cooke deserves to have his bell rung in a good 1v1 fight i think clean with the bruin top bruiser thats it then crosby can be a leader AFTER the game and say "well it was a good game and i think everythings settled now we can all move on and look for another cup"

This is pretty much right on, and that's what happened- I was just suggesting another way.

Anon# 11 wrote: "This article sucks and so do you."

Boy- it's always the anonymous ones with the most class. Those penguins fans love their blindside hits, don't they?

Alec wrote:

"This still all points back to the NHL's weak stance on illegal hits. If he's suspended then there is no buzz concerning retaliation. Cooke can take care of himself, and the Bruins can take care of Cooke- my prediction- tonight will be a flame-out as far as cooke is concerned. An early fight- nothing special- wrestling match 5's for both and themn the real game can begin."

This is exactly what happened.

"What the Bruins team needs, is to see every player on every opposing team the way they see Cooke tonight. If they don't play passionate, pissed off hockey for three weeks they are out. Its playof time for the B's."

This is exactly what didn't happen

"and for everyone who says "shut the fuck up" What fun would this be if someone didn't stir the shit?? Give a little credit to those who put something out there other than stats and watered down garbage."

Thank you, sir.

"Oh yeah- and Anonymous, grow a pair! God I hate Pittsburg fans. you're all such entitled pussies. Yes you've won stuff, but if you can't see Lemeiux as a whining bitch (no matter how good he was), and Ulf as a spineless dirtbag (no matter how bad he was), than you need to wake up and watch some games without Crosby's chode on your chin. Oh yeah and nice powder blue uniforms-"

I think you might have been able to phrase that without Crosby's chode, but yeah. And I'll add that powder blue is how you crying baby boys dress. So there's that.

Finally, DaBich wrote:

"Alec, you'rr just a big a loser as the author of this article."

Huh, well that makes sense, since I agreed with pretty much all of what he wrote. The wings fan also made some sense. Penguins fans, in general, seem to be the unhinged ones here.

"Lemieux a whining bitch? YOu've lost your marbles. Ulfie was Ulfie, he dished it out but he sure took it too."

Sigh. Go watch the video again. Your argument that Lemieux isn't a whiny bitch is cheapened by following it up with a statement that Ulf Samuelsson was some kind of equal-opportunity everyman. He was a dirty player. That's a fact. If you're gonna defend Ulf's playing style, you're supporting exactly the kind of thing Matt Cooke did. Which is shameful.

Whew!

OK, team, we did it.

Now let's never do that again, shall we?

Sorry, Bruins.

2010-03-19T00:00:00.000-04:00

What, you expected a longer write-up?

If you weren't gonna show up, why should I?

I only got this far because of Thornton, Rask, and Chara.

I'll see ya in the playoffs.

Or not.

Whatever.

Shit, if I want to watch a team that isn't gonna make the playoffs, I should at least be able to watch them suck in 3-D.

Tonight's The Night, Bruins-

2010-03-18T02:42:00.005-04:00

Last season, the Boston Bruins sparked off one of the finest regular seasons in recent memory with a scrap-filled contest against the Dallas Stars, Steve Ott and Sean Avery.

After that game, the Bruins gelled as a team, went on a winning streak that propelled them to the top of the Eastern Conference, and sent all Bruins fans hopes sky high for this season. Alas, injuries and a lack of scoring took it's toll, and the Bruins limped into the second half of season after stumbling hard in the month of January, despite a thrilling OT win in the Winter Classic. As of now, the Bruins are playing just about well enough to justify their 8 spot in the standings.

Well, with Matt Cooke and the Pittsburgh Penguins in town, there's an opportunity.

The Boston Globe wrote an actual editorial, urging the Bruins show a little restraint and remember that the win is more important than pounding any individual member of the Penguins, and bringing up the Bertuzzi/Steve Moore incident, as a cautionary tale.

While the Globe is not wrong to bring up Bertuzzi and Moore, and correct that a win is hugely important, a win without fighting will be two points, but not the galvanizing, team building event that this game has the potential to be. If they lose, fights or no fights, that's pretty much the Bruins' season. You can't get kicked around the way the Bruins got kicked around (by both the Penguins and the NHL), and go into the playoffs strong by losing that game. I just don't see it happening.

And if you lose, and beat them up? It's mid-march. You're in the 8 spot. If you're losers, there's no honor in being goons, too.

But if they step it up, and get some physical contributions from players other than Shawn Thornton, (who I think has had a great year of all around checking hockey) they have an opportunity to spark something that just may carry them into the playoffs. The Bruins still have the current Norris trophy winning defenseman, and their BACKUP goaltender won the Vezina. If this team can summon up a little heart, who knows what could happen?

But before I shift all the responsibility for physicality in this game to the Bruins, there's one player on the Penguins that has the power to assume a little responsibility, and show a little leadership by dropping the gloves.

And it's not Matt Cooke.

Matt Cooke needs to go out and get his whuppin' and c'mon- it's a hockey fight- it won't be that bad. But that's sort of understood.

The Penguin who could show some leadership and diffuse this situation by dropping the gloves LIKE A CAPTAIN- is Sidney Crosby. His first fight in the NHL was against the Bruins, against Andrew Ference, who seemed so surprised he was actually fighting the NHL's poster boy, that he got caught a little flat-footed. Well, that won't be happening tomorrow.

Crosby has a bit of a reputation for being a whiner, a diver, and frankly, a ball-puncher. The rest of the hockey world has been wringing it's hands over the hypothetical "what would have happened if Crosby had been hit like Savard was" and worried sick over the possibility that someone on the Bruins might actually do just that to him, hence the Globe editorial.

But no true hockey fan, who respects the athletes that they spend their time and money to watch wants to see a superstar get clocked by a goon. But they'd all like to see that superstar stand up for himself and his team. Sidney Crosby certainly has nothing to prove, and no one in the mainstream hockey media would blame him for letting someone else fight his team's battles. But still, he is the captain.

It makes you think, if Mark Messier were in this situation, what would he do? If Jarome Iginla were in this situation, what would he do? If Bobby Orr or Ray Bourque were in this situation, what would they do? Mario Lemieux, of course, would throw a bunch of cheap shots, refuse to drop the gloves, cry and whine to an official if anybody retaliated, and sit back and let Ulf Samuellson do the dirty work on other team's stars, so who knows, maybe Crosby will go that way too- I guess they respect that approach in Pittsburgh.

But the Penguins just lost a big game last night to the Devils, are slipping in their division, and it's a leadership moment. So, before we put everything on the Bruins here, let's remember who is wearing the "C" in Pittsburgh, and remember how he responds to this.

As for the Bruins, I know exactly how every Bruins fan in the nation wants them to respond, and it dovetails nicely with this brand new video by the Dropkick Murphys:

Now let's go watch some hockey!

Belated Bye Bye, Beloved Boston Bruin Byron Bitz.

2010-03-04T00:15:00.000-05:00

Bon Voyage Byron Bitz!

Bye Bye Bitzy!

Best wishes to Derek Morris too, who never really won me over, but it's hard to blame him for that. The team isn't winning, he's making 3.3 million dollars, so, you know, that kind of seems like the math. We're sorry it didn't work out, and also a little bummed we couldn't get Wojtek Wolski.

But damn- losing Bitzy?

Bummer.

We loved Bitz on the Bruins from the day he arrived, and loved saying "BITZY!"and "Bitz!" every time he made a strong play along the wall. He earned his spot, played tough hockey, fought Donald Brashear, had his cup of coffee on the top line, and will now and forever be one of those Bruins that moved on, and we can't help but wish the best for. Guys like Hal Gill, Glen Metropolit, Bill Guerin, Dave Andrechuck, Andrew Raycroft, Brad Boyes, and hell- even Bruce Shoebottom. It's a long list, and Bitzy's definitely on it.

I mean, I get it, changes need to be made, but still.

Damnit.

I liked that guy.

OK- Once more, with feeling:

BITZY! BITZ!

Good luck buddy, and until this Dennis Seidenberg character wins me over, in honor of you Bitzy, we will be referring to him here as (Sigh)denberg.

You will be missed.

What did I tell you?

2010-03-02T22:18:00.001-05:00

Check out the comments in the last few posts to see some pretty sweet comments from, what I'm guessing, are some Canadian internet trolls who were acting, honestly, like a bunch of dumb Americans.

My guess is somebody linked this site on a message board, and a whole bunch of Canadian idiots stopped by. Either way, one comment I made was that America didn't lose in these Olympics, and to prove it, to check out how Ryan Miller was received when he walked into Sidney Crosby's house for his first NHL appearance in Pittsburgh.

The Penguins fans, (who generally I hate like poison) showed true class, rising as one to thank Miller for his fantastic performance in the games.
Kudos to the Penguins fans for just plain old doing things right.

So, to those commenters, (not like they are still around:)
Toldja so, you pricks.
Also, your bacon is ham.

And don't get all pissed off if this is your first time here. I've been on the record numerous times both on this blog and on much bigger, better hockey blogs about how much I love Canada, and Canadians. I will say this though- if you leave a hateful comment on a blog, and don't leave a name, you're a spineless turd.

Either way, Miller's reception on enemy ice was just another bit of evidence that this tournament, (particularly the two USA/Canada games) now rank among one of the biggest and most important wins for hockey in the post-lockout era, alongside the establishment of the Winter Classic, the double-hat-trick Ovie vs Sid game in the playoffs and game six of the Bruins-Canadiens in the 2008 playoffs.

Hockey in America is officially back.

Which all things considered, is kind of a moot point, right now.

Tonight's Bruins/Canadiens game was a goddamn bust.

For those who don't think America won this weekend-

2010-03-02T00:01:00.000-05:00

-go ahead and check out how Ryan Miller gets received in Pittsburgh tonight.

I'll Say It-

2010-02-27T22:12:00.000-05:00

-I don't care who wins tomorrow's gold medal game.

Don't get me wrong- I'm looking forward to it. But it doesn't matter.

I'm sure there are a bunch of Canadians who will get their poutines in a bunch if Canada doesn't get the gold on home soil, but the fact is, after flirting with the disaster that could have been, silver ain't bad. Worst case scenario, they lose to a US team and start a new rivalry, something that international hockey has needed since the end of the cold war. As for the US, they already beat Canada, so if they lose, well- they're batting .500, which in terms of our national passtime is an epic win.

Ultimately, what I don't want for either side is a blowout.

What I really want is a well played game, and I'm really excited about seeing the best hockey players in the world giving it their all.

What I'm excited about seeing, really- is an All Star Game.

An actual All Star Game. Not some bullshit, no-hitting corporate show, but a real game. With awesome fucking hockey players. I've said it before and not really meant it, but now I really mean it:

May the best team win.

Postponed Post

2010-01-08T22:38:00.006-05:00

There was more hockey action
here than inside the arena.

There are certain moments throughout history when every American remembers exactly where they were and what they were doing. Neil Armstrong setting foot on the moon, the tragic assassination of John F. Kennedy, the election of our first African American president...

And now to that august list, we add the night the lights went out in Newark.

When Ritch texted me and asked for a man-on-the-scene report from the power failure that brought play to a halt halfway through the second period of tonight's Devils/Lightning game, there was only one thing to say:

"Hey dipshit...nothing's happening."

Seriously, where's Jeremy Roenick when you need him?

Or maybe I'm wrong. Is anyone interested in a blow-by-blow recap of every piece of interstitial video the Devils have ever produced? Here's mascot NJ Devil inserted into a clip from Animal House...here he is inserted into a clip from Pee Wee's Big Adventure...here he is going for his yearly colonoscopy.

They even made the questionable decision to run the famous Patrick Swayze/Chris Farley Chippendale's sketch from Saturday Night Live, despite the fact that both men are now dead. I guess they're waiting until Kevin Nealon kicks the bucket to finally pull that one from the rotation.

I did manage to do a little investigative reporting while we waited for the game to go on or not. One Devils representative, speaking on condition of anonymity, told me that he personally witnessed Lou Lamoriello kicking the plug out shortly after the Devils gave up their third goal on seven shots.

It wasn't all bad news, though...the assembled media must have been psyched to get lobbed such a softball for tomorrow's headlines. Just decide whether to go with some variation of "Lightning Strikes" or the "Power Outage" of the Devils failing to convert on the man advantage and call it a night.

Anyway, after about an hour and a half, things finally got moving, and I managed to capture that action on video as well:

You're welcome.

Ben's at the Rock

2010-01-08T21:54:00.004-05:00

Yeah, there isn't a lot going on.

I for one, am loving watching all these anchors fill time. If this keeps up, Stan Fischler is going to be interviewing a drunken Chris Terreri sometime around midnight.

Here's Ben, taped at the Rock moments ago:

Seriously, didn't Gary Bettman have no problem cancelling a bunch of hockey games sometime around 2004-2005?

UPDATE: 10:00 PM broadcasters announce game is cancelled- Mike D'Antoni must be thrilled!

UPDATE #2: Official language is game is "suspended." We dodged a bullet- apparently, the next thing scheduled was Ken Danekyo asking viewers for help with his KenKen puzzle.

UPDATE# 3: New official language is "postponed." They refer us to Newjerseydevils.com. According to Doc Emeric, fans are littering the ice with some stuff. As a Bruins fan, I'm kind of pissed we didn't get to see tape of the '88 Bruins/Oilers Cup Final blackout game. It was the best game the B's played that entire series.

Best Shot of the Night

2010-01-08T17:19:00.000-05:00

Last Monday, I had the particular misfortune of attending the Bruins/Rangers game at the Garden, a 3-2 snoozefest of a win by the Blueshirts after both teams spent two periods aggressively playing like they really wouldn't mind losing this one. There was a flash of excitement in the last five minutes of the third when the B's rallied back from 2 goals down to tie it, but that was snuffed out by a Christopher Higgins goal with a minute and change left that looked more like women's billiards than ice hockey. I'm sure the Ranger fans were happy to see it, but it's not like they put an exclamation point on the night by ringing up another of of these beauties:

It was a crap goal and a crap game, and to make a long story short, the Ranger fans left feeling relieved instead of ecstatic, and Bruins fans saw their team try to win without a 60 minute effort again, and instead got just what they deserved, which was a regulation loss. Of course, if they were just gonna blow the game, they could have done us the favor of not blue-balling us at the end there.

Either way, the better bad team won, and no one headed home happy, except maybe Christopher Higgins, and fuck that guy.

So we filed out, and unlike a lot of buildings in the NHL, when you leave Madison Square Garden after a hockey game, the dispersal of fans is gradual and a little off-putting. There are so many other random people just walking around the city that after about a hundred yards, you're still in the middle of a crowd, but with each step, that crowd is made up of fewer and fewer hockey fans. One by one, the people who just shared an experience with you are replaced with those who didn't, until before you realize it, you're right back to feeling like the only hockey fan in America.

It's discouraging, especially after a crap game.

Of course, I was headed for the subway, so that feeling was diluted a little, seeing as I was waiting on the platform for the uptown C train, and could still see quite a few folks in hockey jerseys waiting not only on my side, but also on the express and downtown local platforms across the two sets of train tracks across the way.

I was walking north along the platform to kill a little time, and as I strolled past a trash can in the corner next to an empty bench, I just kind of sensed a disturbance in the force. People were gathered around, looking at something, I couldn't tell what, but there was a palpable excitement in the air, bordering on fear.

I swiveled my head around and saw it. There was a fat, nasty rat crouching behind the trash can, up on the platform, WITH US, knawing on something. People were maintaining a safe distance of about 20 yards or so, and kind of slowly rotating around the trash can so they could keep an eye on the rat.

Of course, rats in the subway are no big deal, provided they stay down on the tracks where they belong. But when one gets up on the platform, on the same level as you, that's an altogether different experience. I've seen it happen a number of times and it's always dramatic as hell when they run. People run, jump, scream, freak out, you name it. It's exciting, and that rat was cornered and definately going to run.

I joined the circle of onlookers, eyeing the nasty fucker and getting ready to jump if he headed my way. It felt like a game of Russian Roulette, the standoff at the end of the Good, The Bad and the Ugly, or basically, the way you're supposed to feel during the last five minutes of a hockey game that doesn't suck.

"That's poison he's eating now!" announced an authoritative voice. It came from an African American subway custodian who looked to be in his late 40's. He slowly approached the circle of onlookers, wearing a reflective vest over his blue MTA uniform. He was carrying a large, heavy shovel, painted yellow, and his eyes were fixed on his target. This wasn't his first rat. Not by a long shot.

This was turning into the best show in town.

The crowd, many of them still wearing hockey jerseys, gathered slightly closer, but not so close as to crowd the rat out from behind the can. Fans from across the platform craned their necks and angled for a good view from their limited sightlines.

Slowly but surely, the custodian edged up to the trash can, and with a quick lateral move, turned the corner of the bench, and simulataneously smashed down the heavy blade of the shovel. He narrowly missed the rat, who was off like a shot, southbound along the platform. And that's when the screams started.

As the mayhem increased, and people began jumping out of the way of the fleeing rodent, the custodian lowered his shoulders and broke into a sprint, the blade of his shovel knee-high like a hockey stick. He caught up to the rat after about 30 yards, and without breaking stride, took a high, hard slapshot with the shovel that sent it flying onto the tracks, where it landed hard, righted itself and scurried away.

As one, the crowd went wild.

Hands down, it was the best shot of the night.

How Bout Those Kids!

2010-01-06T00:46:00.000-05:00

Big ups to the American squad at the World Junior Classic!

I might not have given a crap if not for Aedan Helmer, reporter for the Ottawa Sun, who dropped me the following line:

Ritch,
I'm looking for some opinions on tomorrow's Canada-US showdown at the World
Junior tourney.
Are American hockey fans following the tournament?

I wrote him back with the following:

Hey Aedan-

What the hell is the World Junior tourney?

kidding.

Sort of.

I can't speak for all American hockey fans, but I'd tend to doubt there is much interest, as the tourney isn't marketed at all down here. Basically, if the game was starting, and a buddy called me up and said "Hey- US -Canada is on" I'd thank him, and watch it, at least until Canada went up by seven.

There definitely is interest but the only place to watch or get news about it is on the NHL Network, which doesn't have a show devoted to it. We get some coverage from On The Fly, but not enough to really follow the tournament. The only games I have caught this year have been because I was flipping through and saw they were on, not because I was aware in advance. Also, you're never sure if you're watching a game live, and it hasn't helped that the few games I have clicked on have been big time blowouts.

That said, US/Canada is always worth tuning in for.

When's it on?

All the best,

Ritch

He ended up using a great deal of what I wrote- here's the story.

I just watched them end it in OT, and good for them!

USA!
USA!
USA!

Wait- Did Keith Ballard kill another goalie?

2009-12-03T01:28:00.000-05:00

From the Yahoo! recap of tonight's Florida/Colorado game:

Scott Clemmensen, starting in place of injured Panthers goalie Tomas Vokoun (notes), made 29 saves. Vokoun is recovering after he was hit in the head by Florida defenseman Keith Ballard’s (notes) stick during a bizarre on-ice accident Monday night. Vokoun received stitches on his ear but had no other medical problems... Ballard was involved in another scary incident on Wednesday. Charging toward the net with less than a minute left in overtime, Ballard slid toward the net and appeared to collide with Anderson, whose head hit the goal post...Ballard wasn’t available to speak with reporters after Wednesday’s game.

I'll say it: Keith Ballard is the Tommy Jarvis of the NHL.

Watch your ass, Varlamov, you're next.

Stunning New Angle On Keith Ballard-Vokoun Hit

2009-12-01T12:18:00.000-05:00

Maybe it's the 3D, but this new look at the vicious shot to the mask dished out on Tomas Vokoun by his own defenseman last night makes Ballard look, oh I don't know, a little more feminine, maybe?

What do you think?

(H/T Dumb As A Blog)

I've only seen one Bruins game this year-

2009-10-10T01:30:00.000-04:00

-but I'll tell ya, I'm a little worried about the penalty kill.

Missing both PJ Axellsson and Stephane Yelle hurts.

Whew!

Man, that was some solid-ass hockey analysis, especially after a four month layoff.

I'm tired.

Dang.

I've been on a book tour, gone to a bunch of weddings, have another wedding to go to this weekend, and that means I'm gonna miss the B's/Islanders game.

And that's a bummer, because I like these new look Islanders. Win or lose, if you're an Islander fan, I think checking in on dudes like Streit, Okposo, Tavares, and whoever their ~~next general manager~~ current backup goaltender is, is gonna be fun to watch.

Great Season, Everybody

2009-06-16T13:14:00.002-04:00

Let's do it again in October!

Sidney Crosby is the youngest captain ever-

2009-06-14T01:32:00.001-04:00

-to win the Stanley Cup while not playing the third period.

It kind of reminds me of the time Willis Reed limped back into Madison Square Garden, and made the heroic decision to stay on the bench so he wouldn't hurt his team, or Keri Strug.... oh screw it.

Really?

2009-06-14T00:56:00.002-04:00

Mario?

With the Cup on the ice?

Fuck me.

I hate that guy.

That was awesome how one asshole who didn't play in the third period passed it to another asshole who didn't play the third period.

Yay, Marketing!

In case any of you Penguins fans are interested in rewatching game seven...

2009-06-14T00:42:00.003-04:00

...there will be an IMAX version of the game being shown Monday evening at the Moon Township drive-in movie theater, projected onto Marc Andres Fleury's massive teeth.

Fans should bring wine, cheese, blankets, and several yards of thick rope, should the Stanley Cup winner need to at any point, floss.

I gotta tell you-

2009-06-14T00:30:00.002-04:00

I got a little choked up seeing Hal Gill raise the Stanley Cup.

That's a native of Concord, Massachusetts right there, and he played hard for the Bruins.

It was nice to see Guerin lift it too, but he'd done it before.

And, you know- both of those guys managed to suck it up and play the third period.

Please, Gary. For the Love of the Game. Don't.

2009-06-14T00:19:00.002-04:00

I said it last year, and I'll say it again.

Gary Bettman has no business on the ice at the end of the year, handing out the Stanley Cup and the Conn Smythe Trophy.

Justified or not, the fans hate Gary Bettman, and not only does it bum out us hardcore fans, the inevitable booing takes casual fans out of this wonderful moment of celebrating hockey.

Seriously.

Gary.

Stop it.

Please.

One man, and one man alone should have been handing out the Stanley Cup that night, and his name was Mario Lemieux. If the Wings had won, it should have been Steve Yzerman. Or Gordie Howe.

I've put out my theory on this.

It is do-able.

Can we PLEASE make it happen?

Please?

Even though I knew the outcome and the final score...

2009-06-13T23:53:00.003-04:00

... while I was watching the Stanley Cup Final on DVR, when Nic Kronwall hit the crossbar with 2:10 remaining in the third period, I screamed.

Goddamnit- I love this game.

Congrats to the Pittsburgh Penguins and their fans on an incredible playoff and final.

The Best Possible Reason To Miss Game Seven Of The Stanley Cup Finals

2009-06-13T13:17:00.003-04:00

Annabelle Ellen Duncan.
Born June 12, 2009.
11:42 PM
6 lbs, 13 oz.

So.

Who won the game?

A thoughtful gift.

2009-06-11T01:45:00.004-04:00

Just in case I haven't expressed how totally awesome my wife is, she arrived home last night and told me that she had been to a discount candy store and she bought me a present.

It was a pack of 1990 Topps hockey cards, complete with gum.

Let's open 'er up!

-Kelly Miller: Capitals.
eh.

-Troy Murray: Blackhawks.
again, I sorta remember him.

-Doug Brown: Devils
At this point, I'm thinking this pack might be shit. There might be a reason it only cost a dollar.

-Mark Osbourne: Maple Leafs.
Seriously, this might as well be a random name generator. I don't know any of these guys.

-Pelle Eklund: Flyers
- I sort of remember this guy, but it's hard to get too fired up about a random dude form Philly. Especially when he's named "Pelle."

-Doug Brown: Devils.
You read that right. Another fucking Doug Brown Card. I was still thrilled that my wife got me the pack, but yeah- I was getting discouraged. And then, all of a sudden:

-Barry Pederson: Penguins
Heyhey! I'd forgotten that this current member of the Boston Bruins broadcast team played for the Penguins, and let's not forget, this is the guy who went the other way for Cam Neely. This is a great card, and I'm happy, but if that's all I got in the pack that I liked, let's be honest here- Barry Pederson on the Penguins is sort of a thin broth. So who was next?

-Mario Lemieux: Penguins.
WOW! Yes, I've always hated number 66, but you can't deny he was one of the best ever, and I got that old pop I used to get when you open a pack of hockey cards, and stumble on a superstar. It was a really nice nostalgic moment. I looked it up on line, and I don't want to brag, but that card is now worth a cool dollar and fifteen cents. Bidding starts at a dollar. Up next?

Ken Linseman: Flyers.
This was a really fun one too, from a Bruins fan's perspective. Everybody loved The Rat in Boston, and this was a card from his first year in a Flyers uniform after the Dave Poulin trade. Poulin was a great Bruin too, and I feel like getting a Linseman card in a Flyer uniform is almost better than getting one of his Bruins cards, cause this way, I remember Poulin as well.

-Edmonton Times: "Gretzky Returns home to score his 1851st point"
These cards were always horseshit. Nobody wants the fake-ass Gretzky card that's not Gretzky's actual card. Still, being able to fondly remember my disdain for getting such a shit card was still kinda fun, from a nostalgia perspective.

-Rick Tocchet Flyers (89-90 Scoring leaders card)
see above. Also, screw Rick Tocchet. But yeah, you know, even though he was a shitty Bruin, you gotta kinda like the guy. Let's use this space to watch him break Claude Julien's nose again, shall we?

-Bob Carpenter: Bruins
Damn, I loved Bob Carpenter. He's another guy who's still with the Bruins organization, and he was a dandy, lemme tell you. On the face of things, he wasn't really that goddamn good. He could check and play OK, and wasn't awful, a good lunchpail Bruin, and then every now and then- like every 25 games or so, Bobby Carpenter would get these GREAT goals, and- oh wait. Shit. I'm thinking of Bob Sweeney. But Carpenter was great too. We eventually lost him to the Devils, (I think) for one reason or another and he was one of those B's you'd see in another uniform, and just wish we never let him go. Brian Rolston-esque, that guy.

Dave Chyzowski: Islanders (Top Prospect Card!)
Yeah, well that didn't work out so well for the Islanders, did it? And you Isles fans can't even blame Milbury for that one. In 1990, he was one of the best coaches in the league, bringing the Bruins to the Stanley Cup final. And these last two are something else:

Scott Stevens: Capitals.
Boy, it's hard to imagine old Scott Stevens on the Caps, isn't it? But he was. I saw that card and eagerly thought "Maybe this is a rookie card!" Wrong. He was on the caps for 8 years before he ever joined the Devils. What a player. And then, the icing on the cake, the best card in the pack:

Andy Brickley: Bruins
Wow- two members of the current Bruins broadcast team in one pack? Good times. Since there isn't much chance I'd find a card of a 15 year old Kathryn Tappen, this is about as good as it gets. Good old Brick, who was a great lunchpail Bruin, smart hockey player, and now one of the best color men in the game. When I was lucky enough to get a press pass at the Verizon Center in Washington, one of my biggest thrills was to meet, and do a quick interview with Andy Brickley. Man, does he look like a baby on that card. Funny.

Incidently, the gum, like all hockey card gum, was broken into three jagged, solid shards. Before I could stop her, my wife popped one of the shards into her mouth, made a horrible face, and ran from the room to spit it out. That's 19 year old gum. I asked her why she did it, and she said "I was curious!" This coming from a woman who won't try Indian food, and yet her driving culinary curiosity compells her to chew a piece of hockey card gum that's old enough to vote.

And I've tried that gum 19 years ago, when it was fresh.

It sucked then too.

My beautiful wife....

2009-06-11T00:30:00.003-04:00

...will be giving birth to a baby girl this weekend, if her doctor is to be believed.

But the doctor might be lying.

It makes sense to me that baby doctors might tell women who are very pregnant and sick of being pregnant that "it'll be this weekend" just to make them feel better. Believe me, there is something to be said for lying to pregnant women to make them feel better. And don't misjudge my motives, I'm just positing the theory that it's a good thing when pregnant women feel better.

Cause, from what little I've seen of it, being pregnant kind of sucks.

Anyway, this is a hockey blog, and I post this here because this weekend, of course, there's a pretty big hockey game on, and I may become a father during game seven of the Stanley Cup Finals. My wedding had a similar hockey overlap, and of course what happens in circumstances like that is that watching hockey becomes the smaller number. It's a big goddamn number, there's no doubt about it, but when you do the math, you realize what's really important. If you are the kind of hockey fan that would bemoan getting married or experiencing the birth of your first child because you're missing a hockey game, you might want to stop calling yourself "a hockey fan," and go with something smoother sounding, like "sociopath."

Hockey is hockey and life is life and there are some things that are just more important, plain and simple.

With that said, thank fucking Christ the Bruins aren't playing Friday. And I'm not saying I wouldn't make the right choice, I'm just glad I don't have to. For all hockey people, the game is part of our lives, so it would follow that it might be part of the significant milestones of our lives as well. I haven't missed watching the Stanley Cup being raised since the mid-80's, but if I do miss it this year, I'll have a pretty good excuse. If the game is tied at the end of the third, and I'm not there to watch it, enjoy your sudden death hockey fans.

I'll be welcoming new life.

Yawn.

2009-06-08T21:55:00.003-04:00

Tired tonight.

If you wanna see some exclusive crowd pics from before game 5 in Detroit, check out Dumb as a Blog. My co-worker (and huge Red Wing Fan) Sam actually got tickets by just getting on Ticketmaster with four friends and hitting refresh.

I expressed surprise that she got tickets that way and she said "Yeah, I guess there's a lot of people from Detroit these days who can't really afford hockey tickets." Which is sad. Of course, there's also the fact that tomorrow's game 6 will be the Red Wings 30th Stanley Cup finals game in less than 15 years.

In the same time period, counting tomorrow's game, Penguins fans have had the opportunity to watch their team play in 12 finals games, all from this and last season.

The Bruins of course, have had none. If you go all the way back to 1988, they've had 10 appearances in the cup finals, and I'm counting the game when the lights went out, which ended a tie, and was replayed, which technically meant there was another opportunity to buy tickets to the finals. In my lifetime, the Boston Bruins have won exactly one hockey game in the Stanley Cup finals.

It was pretty sweet.

In Detroit, they've had considerably more chances to see their team in the Finals, and have no reason to expect those opportunities are going to dry up in the immediate future. With all due respect to the folks who have lost their jobs, I think that's worth mentioning.

Do I sound like a bitter and jealous Bruins fan? Is that coming across?

Cause I am.

Celebrity Sighting

2009-06-07T01:13:00.004-04:00

Today was a beautiful summer day in New York City.

I was out and about, doing some errands, and found myself walking up 6th avenue, just south of Radio City Music Hall. There were tourists out in force, and as such, I found myself rather unintentionally walking right next to another guy.

Like side by side, our strides were matching, we were in each other's personal spaces, and it was kind of weird. It went on for a full 10 steps or so, to the point where I thought "Oh Christ, am I gonna have to slow down, or pretend to stop or something?" I glance over at the guy and I recognize him. I can't place him right away, but I know that I know this guy. I take another look, and I place him. It was a prominent sports columnist for the Boston Globe, who's name I won't mention here since I don't want to invade the dude's privacy more than I already am, but anyway, I recognize him right away. I will say that he wasn't one of the regular hockey guys. Since we were literally right next to each other, I call him by his first name and say hi. He's a little cold at first, probably because he spotted my double take, and- you know, I was walking down the street close enough to be holding his hand. I quickly say "tough year for the Bruins." He looks at me, and says: "Yeah."

A thoughtful look comes over his face, and he corrects himself.
"Actually, no. Tough series. Great year."

And he was absolutely right. Not wanting to act like a creep, I wished him well, told him to enjoy the nice day, and turned the corner. For the next 20 minutes I replayed the scenario in my mind, rehearsing scenarios in which I told him that it always feels tougher when your expectations are higher, told him how glad I was that the Globe didn't go under, offered to give him a restaurant reccomendation, or asked him the proper pronounciation of Fluto Shinzawa. Ultimately, I think I did the right thing.

But it was a fun brush with celebrity.

To bring it back to hockey, my brother plays in an ice league in Houston, Texas and according to his Facebook status, he overheard the following in the locker room:

"I was as useless out there as tits on a snow shovel!"

He is happy to report that even in Houston, Texas- hockey players are still hockey players.

No Internet Access At Home.

2009-06-05T17:51:00.002-04:00

Hey all,

My internet at home has been knocked out for the past few days, and I can't really do a lot of hockey blogging at work, mainly because my day job is blogging, and one of the ways I got the job in the first place was by showing them the hockey blog. Hence, my employers know it exists, and they are cool and nice, and if they noticed that I wasn't writing on their blog while some hillarious post I write here about Jordan Staal popping someone in the walnuts turns up in their Google Readers, well, it wouldn't look good is all.

But yes, I'm aware the Stanley Cup final has gotten a heck of a lot more fun to watch, I just haven't said so yet cause I haven't had the ability to write from home these past few days. Hopefully I'll get the problem worked out over the weekend.

For now, enjoy this comment I received on my last post from the ever eloquent "Mr. Ken:"

You're a dumb ass mother fucker. The game is right. PENGUINS will LOSE if they don't WIN in game 5 on Saturday. Funny, fucking bullshit if I can't log on and post this fucking simple true information on their goddamn dumb ass site. I can't. It's a piece of fucking shit!!

Personally, he lost me after "dumb ass mother fucker," but like most great poetry, the interpretation of meaning is up to YOU- the reader.

What do you think he's saying here?

The Stanley Cup Finals Have Sucked. Watch, As I Start To Bitch About It, Decide It's Pointless, And Instead Resort To Mocking Rod Brind'Amour's Looks

2009-06-01T00:05:00.003-04:00

Boys and men.

I didn't even watch the third period.

Dullsville.

The Pittsburgh Penguins are consistently playing JUST well enough to lose by one.

If they don't show me something radically different in Pittsburgh, we're looking at a sweep.

All I can say is, if the fucking Carolina Hurricanes are gonna go and knock out the two best teams in the east, the least they could have done is shown up for the conference finals.

I mean, Jesus.

I don't know how Rod Brind'Amour can look at himself in the mirror.

No Dog In The Hunt? Who To Root For In The Stanley Cup Final

2009-05-28T13:06:00.002-04:00

I've been clear about this. I have hated the Pittsburgh Penguins for over 20 years and I'm not going to just blindly endorse them now. I mean, for God's sake, right after Crosby touched the Prince of Wales trophy, the officials actually gave the trophy a two minute holding penalty.

I'm not sure how they justified that.

But it's also tough to root for a dynasty, and if you look up "underdog" in the dictionary, it says "antonyms: 2008-2009 Detroit Red Wings." So what the hell do we do?

Let's be honest, I'm not going to NOT watch the Stanley Cup Final If the lockout taught us anything, it's that as fans, we should enjoy it while we have it. Also, last year's conference finals were also deadly dull, and the Cup final ended up being a very entertaining affair. That means some tough decisions have to be made.

Who do we root for?

There are a lot of reasons to root for the Wings:

- Original Six team. Snobby, I know, but that's where I stand. I think it's good for the game.

-Economywise, the city of Detroit, the state of Michigan, and the US automobile industry are, to put things as gently as I can, fucked. Their fans could use a lift.

-Excellence. There is a very good argument to be made that to root for the Detroit Red Wings is to root for hockey excellence, plain and simple. They are cobbling together the seeds of a dynasty, and this after greats like Yzerman, Hull, Shanahan, Hasek, and Federov have all moved on. From a hockey management perspective, that is amazing, and to see it in the salary cap era, makes it even more impressive.

-Detroit could be the first team to win both the Winter Classic and the Stanley Cup in the same year, something that the Penguins were unable to do last season. Achieving this feat could be a future yardstick to determine the all-time greatness of Stanley Cup winning teams. You can't get into the Winter Classic unless you were at the very least, a contender for the cup the year before, and to win both the classic and the cup is to shine on hockey's two biggest stages at both the beginning and end of a season. They say you have to be lucky and good. To win both the Winter Classic and the Stanley Cup is to be lucky and great. That's worth rooting for. Which brings me to my next point.

- Unlike the Penguins, the Detroit Red Wings were excellent all year, from the drop of the puck in October to the beginning of the Stanley Cup final, the Wings were a yardstick team, which means that every team brought their A-game all year long, and the Wings ended up on top again. As recent seasons in Boston, San Jose, Buffalo and Ottawa have proved, it's one thing to be good in the regular season, and another to maintain that level of excellence all year and through the playoffs.

-Darren Helm, who scored the series clinching overtime goal for the Detroit Red Wings last night, could potentially be the only forward to have two Stanley Cup rings and no regular season goals. In his career. Ever. I'm not sure that's ever been done, and it's kind of cool.

Reasons to root for the Pittsburgh Penguins:

-I've said this before, but from a hate perspective, it'd be fantastic to see Marion Hossa lose the Stanley Cup again this year, this time in the other sweater. I know hockey is a business, blah blah, blah, but to bolt the Stanley Cup loser to sign with the team that beat them is some lame, front-running shit. I'd love to see that guy lose. Seeing him lose the Stanley Cup to his former team while wearing the sweater of the team that beat him a season ago would be the hater's version of Ray Bourque finally winning a cup in Colorado. Hockey fans from around the world would rally together to cheer his loss.

-No matter what happens in this series, the interest generated by the Washington-Pittsburgh playoff series is going to insure that we're going to be bombarded with promos and commercials talking about how great Sidney Crosby is. If it annoyed you in the past, it's going to be even worse next year, whether he wins or loses the cup. Search your feelings, hockey fans, you know this to be true. If Crosby actually fucking wins something for once, at a bare minimum, the league won't look as stupid for endlessly promoting him. It's a thin broth, but it's something.

-If the Penguins win the Cup, everybody on that goddamn team is going to want a raise. With the cap heading down, this means that there'd be a good chance that I might be able to see Jordan Staal play for a team that I don't hate worse than poison. Again, I'm reaching a little.

Of course, at the end of the day, what I'm really hoping for is a long, hard, competitive series in which my allegiances shift from game to game, something that has happened in the past, (even with the Penguins.) While I'll probably end up supporting the successes of whichever team whose effort and heart forces me to recognize them, I'm gonna bite my lip, take a deep breath and just say it:

GO RED WINGS.

In game one, anyway.

Penguins. WIngs. Goddamnit.

2009-05-26T22:05:00.003-04:00

Screw it.

I'm just gonna reprint what I wrote at this time last year.

I've been watching a lot of popular entertainment recently, mainly because with the exception of a few rare sparks of effort by Dallas and Marty Turco, both the Eastern and Western Conference championship series have been desperately fucking dull.

That said, they are mercifully over now, and hopefully we'll have a decent cup final, although I wouldn't be surprised if the Penguins don't win a single game.

That said, here are some of the things I've been enjoying more than hockey these days:

The Iron Man movie:
Not a revolutionary piece of cinema, but marketed honestly, which I appreciate. The movie was called Iron Man, and guess what was in it? An Iron Man.
Several in fact. The only way I can see anybody leaving that movie angry would be if they hated receiving more than what they paid for."What! I was expecting one Iron Man, singular, and instead I got Iron Men, in the plural! Fraud!" Nope, it was fun, featured good Robert Downey Jr, and had robot fights in it.

Adding Machine: The Musical

My mother-in-law was in town for her birthday this weekend, and like all upper middle class members of the baby boom generation who visit New York City, she finds herself genetically compelled to attend either a Broadway or an off-Broadway show. I'm not quite sure why this is, but I don't mess with it, and it's fun to see a live show from time to time. Plus, it was one of the best reviewed musicals of the season, and described as an extremely bleak, dark comedy, which interests me more than your average overpriced, overblown, watered-down broadway crap. My wife enjoyed it more than I did, but it was certainly a dark, ambitious, funny work of art, and a great night out. Very well acted too, perhaps not well acted enough to convince the NHL on NBC's entire on air broadcast team, but well acted.

Grand Theft Auto IV:
I bought this game, along with an Xbox360 recently, because my beautiful wife, a talented singer and voiceover artist, is one of the voices on the game. I will thank you to take note that I did not purchase this game because I enjoy staying up until 3:00 in the morning killing virtual hookers with rocket launchers, I purchased it because I am a supportive husband. The hooker killing is just a happy offshoot of that support. I did get a fun phone call from my buddy Ted though, (Not that Ted, a different Ted,) who left me a message telling me that he had purchased a copy of Grand Theft Auto, and would like to know which character my wife portrayed, so that he might avoid having sex with her, gunning her down in the street or both. I thought this was damn considerate. I know, it's all show business, but he was right to check in to see if he was crossing a line. It's all good, by the way, as she is actually a character in a sketch about health care on PRL, the Liberty City Public Radio Station. She plays a pharmaceutical rep named Sheila, and eventually gets her head drilled open by a character played by the unrelenting Rick Shapiro, who you might remember from the late, great HBO show Lucky Louie. SNL's Bill Hader is also in that sketch, along with my pal Bryan Tucker, who is a writer on SNL as well.

Which brings me back to hockey.

I was watching SNL last night (thanks, DVR!) and happened to catch a promo, on NBC, for the Stanley Cup Finals on Versus. I have long been a proponent of the theory that the best way to sell hockey is to show hockey, and Versus brought us back to the bad old days in style, showing us a promo for the Stanley Cup Finals starring- yes, a Lawn Chair.

Sigh.

I mean, is promoting this game really so fucking hard?

The Washington Capitals-

2009-05-26T00:33:00.002-04:00

- apparently played their last game of the season this year against the 1996 Florida Panthers.

Thanks to Off Wing Opinon for the vid-

Fun With Stats

2009-05-25T14:55:00.002-04:00

I was flipping though my Boston Bruins 2007-2008 Guide and Record book this afternoon, and came upon an interesting fact:

With 10 points in 24 games played, Alexei Zhamnov is the Boston Bruins third all time leading scorer who's last name begins with "Z."

How about that?

Big Rob Zamuner (2001-2004) has the number one spot with 50 points in 178 games, followed up by Rick Zombo's (1995-96), 14 points in 67 games.

Alexei just barely managed to edge Joe Zanussi's (1975-1977) 9 points in 68 games.

Great job Alex!

And- with that much needed dose of excitement, we return to the conference finals, which provided this electrifying highlight of Patrick Kane's mouthguard's getting pulled out.

Yep, that was pretty much the highlight of the whole game.

Sigh.

Dullsville. Um, I mean, Hockeytown.

2009-05-24T17:35:00.001-04:00

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

AOL, um- drops the ball.

2009-05-22T15:19:00.002-04:00

Thumbs down to the AOL site Asylum, who just published their list of 10 Famous Men With Only One Ball.

Number one is a cricket player who died in 2002.

Wow.

Where's the love for Phil Kessel?

Link Dump (And Chase)

2009-05-22T13:25:00.003-04:00

Hey all,

Not only did I not watch last night Hurricanes/Penguins game, but I didn't even know what time it was on. I'll get back to it when we start getting into some decisive games. I did check out some highlights online, and if you're like me and didn't check in, all you really need is Malkin's hat trick:

As a side note, I enjoyed how the Versus announcer claimed that the first goal was a "nightmare scenario" for the Canes, because Malkin came off the bench, and went straight to the net. No offense to Malkin, but the nightmare scenario in my book there (and in the second goal as well) seemed to be Ward's lack of rebound control, something that didn't seem to be a problem for him in the Boston series. That third goal's a beaut, though. It's funny how when a player gets hot that puck seems to have eyes.

Anyway, in case you give a wet damn what I've been up to this week instead of watching hockey, my cat Grapes (A big Michael Vick fan) handled my blogging responsibilities over at truTV this morning, so I've been taking it slow. If you haven't seen Grapes' first Michael Vick post, it's reprinted here.

There has been quite a bit of hockey over on Dumb As A Blog these days, as my co-worker Sam and I had a trashtalking face off over our street hockey teams' recent meeting in the BlackTop Street Hockey League. Sadly, my team (The Mighty Squirrels) fell to her's (The Skyfighters.) The back and forth is here:

Here's her first post, and a highlight:

Ritch's team is called the "Mighty Squirrels." Any team with this name has no business winning a hockey game. Though we all loved Joshua Jackson in the movie The Mighty Ducks, we all laughed at Anaheim for creating an actual hockey team under this title.

My first post, and a highlight:

For fans of the cinema, I'll remind you that despite the fact that Rocky technically “lost” his title shot with Apollo Creed, there was an even bigger winner that day: America. And, to a smaller degree, racists from Philadelphia. But that's neither here nor there.

Her response and a highlight:

I'd like to assert that you are just jealous because both your Bruins and Squirrels have choked in the past month, while my Red Wings and Skyfighters continue to prevail.

And my reply:

We play hard, we live hard and when the hockey gods do not smile upon us, The Mighty Squirrels will go down in defeat with a little something called dignity.

Or barring that, we'll just grab your nuts.

All things considered, I think I handled myself pretty well, given that I was trying to defend a 6-1 asskicking, got the score wrong, and called a guy from the Czech Republic a Canadian. I'm like George W. Bush in that way, in that "facts" are less important than "gut feelings." By the way, I'd make a terrible President too. In case you feel like kicking Bush when he's down, check out this cool story from the re-designed Newsweek, which checks up on the former President and finds out what he's up to: cold calling teenagers.

In fact, I'll give Bush the last word here, from his remarks at the White House to the 2008 Stanley Cup Champion Detroit Red Wings:

"The Detroit Red Wings were the first NHL team that I welcomed to a Stanley Cup ceremony and now they'll be the last team I'll be hosting...You guys may be back next year, but not me."

Nope, this isn't ESPN, it's the Onion News Network-

2009-05-21T15:57:00.002-04:00

-but you gotta love the pitch perfect parody.

At least I think that still looks like ESPN, I haven't turned it on since I got the hockey package.

Either way, enjoy:

NHL Tries To Woo Fans By Increasing Scoring With Bigger Nets, 3-Point Line

Hockey Blog Quote of the Week:

2009-05-20T13:00:00.003-04:00

Well, now that the Bruins are off golfing, getting surgery, or almost getting to the top of Africa before climbing back down again, I've decided to introduce a new feature here on AHF, the Hockey Blog Quote of the Week.

It's basically an attempt to hip some of you out there to other hockey blogs that may be doing something interesting funny or cool, you know, when I don't feel like doing it. I figure if I'm not doing anything interesting, the least I can do is steer you to someone who is.

So the inaugural hockey blog quote of the week comes from the Ms. Conduct blog, written by a beat reporter for the Houston Aeros, the farm club of the Minnesota Wild, and just about the only other thing besides Pappacitos that makes Houston, Texas tolerable.

She's also a new goalie, and anybody playing hockey in Texas is alright by me (exception: Steve Ott.) Here's her quote, from her May 18th post: Miley Cyrus and the Emo goalie

My blocker glove no longer smells like ass. I ran ripping hot water through it for a while yesterday, and then dried it off with a little fan blowing in it and a couple of dryer sheets stuffed inside. My hand smells like Bounce. This is infinitely better than ass.

Thanks to Ms. Conduct for a nice little slice of hockey life as it starts to feel like summer again.

So- what the fuck?

2009-05-20T01:49:00.004-04:00

Really?

Pittsburgh and Detroit?

That's gonna be the goddamn Stanley Cup final?

Again?

You assholes are gonna reduce me to rooting for Hossa to lose the Stanley Cup with the other fucking team this time? I mean, that'd be awesome, from a hate perspective, but you know, on the other hand- the goddamn penguins would win another Cup, and who wants that?

I'll tell you who: Assholes, and my awesome friends Eric Cole and Carter Keairns.

But screw them.

Seriously- they've had their goddamn share.

Goddamnit, Blackhawks, pick it up.

And don't ask me to root for the Hurricanes- I just can't.

I hate this game.

You're Welcome, Bruins

2009-05-17T19:57:00.003-04:00

Yes, it was a disappointing end, but boy-o-boy, this season had a ton of great Bruins memories, this video from BostonBruins.com features a great deal of them:

Some of these are touched on in the video, and some are not, but here are some of my memories of the season, inspired by this video:

-Milan Lucic drilling Mike Van Ryn through the glass. In time, perhaps we'll forget that the Bruins lost that game, badly. After being down by two goals, and getting smashed though the glass, Van Ryn responded by getting the ball rolling and scoring the first of four unanswered Maple Leaf goals that night as the Bruins blew the lead. Still, at the end of the day, there was only one player picking tiny cubes of plexiglass out of his ass crack for the next three days, and it wasn't Milan Lucic. I'll take it.

-Stanley Cup of Chowder: It seemed that for years, I was the only guy out there blogging about the Bruins, and let's be honest, I've always been a little more into the passion than the blanket coverage. SCOC jumped into that void with a vengeance, and created not only a great gameday source, but a great hub (pun intended) for the other Bruin blogs that started popping up this year. Some day I'll update this fucking blogroll. I swear.

-The character game against Dallas, when Steve Ott (and his sloppy second Sean Avery,) instigated the Bruins into playing, fighting, and winning as a team. Come to think of it, where were those Bruins in games 3 and 4 of the Carolina series? Actually, scratch that, I'm keeping it positive.

-The emergence of David Krejci: He appeared last year, when Savard went down with an injury, but this season, Krecji emerged. What hands this kid has, and seeing player after player after player (Marco Sturm, Blake Wheeler, Michael Ryder) find their scoring touch while playing with him has finally made us realize that he possesses one of those talents that the truly great players have: making your teammates better hockey players. The winner of the 7th player, and well deserved.

-The first regular season game against the Detroit Red Wings. The first real measuring stick of the Bruins season, Manny Fernandez stood tall for the B's, and this team realized it could beat anybody. I know, I know, it didn't work out at the end of the season, but this was a huge moment.

-Manny Fernandez, period. There is practically zero chance we will ever see Fernandez in a Bruin uniform again, and his game dropped off towards the end of the season, but this year he finally played, and played well, pushing Tim Thomas, ever the battler, to elevate his game to the point where he is the front runner for the Vezina trophy. Like Alex Auld before him, I wish Manny well.

-The appearance of Byron Bitz: This kid started slow, but always played amazing along the wall, in a way we haven't seen since Big Joe Thornton. The new NHL is a possession game, and having Bitzy on a cycle is great. With any luck, we'll get a Lucic/Krecji esque emergence from Bitz next season. If that happens, I see Kessel, Savard and Lucic along with Krecji, Ryder and Bitzy giving us two lines with an elite assist man, a trigger guy and somebody who can give the other guys room to move. That bodes well. You know what I really like as a Bruins fan? A third line with Marco Sturm and Patrice Bergeron on it.

-That Bruins kid who took his shirt off and went nuts in the playoffs. One day, this kid will likely be arrested for assault outside a 99 Restaurant in Medford. But we'll always have 2009:

-The awesome videos of bostonbruins.tv One more time, shall we?

-The emergence of Fluto Shinzawa: Yes, the Boston Globe had a shaky year, and we're not really sure what the future will bring, but as the Bruins started evolving into an Eastern Conference powerhouse, Fluto raised his game along with them. Fluto had been around for a few seasons at least, and he was never bad, but to me, my family and friends who follow the Bruins from afar, he was little more than the new Bruins writer with a name we can't pronounce (Nancy Marrapese-Burrell, anyone?) But this season, that all changed, as he brought smart, well researched articles and quick informative blog posts that gave you both solid info and in-depth analysis, something that made us all better Bruins fans. And no, we still can't pronounce his last name, but for B's fans, he's forever "Fluto." The moment I realized he had become indispensible was the day after Aaron Ward had been sucker punched by Scott Walker, and there was doubt over whether he would play the next game. Aaron Ward is a warrior, but a broken bone in your face is a broken bone in your face. I was discussing the situation with a friend, and he said "Fluto said he'll be stunned if Ward doesn't play." And that was that. To paraphrase Reggie Dunlop: "Fluto wrote this: it's got to be true." A fanbase is only as good as it's sportswriters, and having Fluto step up his game alongside the legendary Kevin Paul DuPont (who I have praised multiple times in this space) will ensure that the Boston Bruins will continue to have some of the most hockey literate fans in the game for years to come. Or, you know, until the Globe collapses.

Ah well.

Fluto- after all of them that you've handed out all season, this STICK SALUTE is for you.

Thanks for the memories this year, Bruins. And thanks for thanking us.

And remember, that loss hurt you more than it hurt me.

Or at least I hope it did. We need to you remember that feeling next year.

I was in the shower this morning...

2009-05-15T11:17:00.007-04:00

...thinking about why exactly Chuck Kobasew decided to get cute on a four man rush in overtime, and didn't just throw the puck on net. Then I remembered that Kobasew had a great game seven, and his line with Bergeron and Recchi did great work for us down the stretch.

Then I thought for a while about how the power play didn't click last night, and wondered for a while how it was that it was so dominant against the Canadiens, and not as much against the Canes. Then I shampooed. I wondered if the turning point for the Canes was that shorthanded goal they scored earlier in the series, not as much from a momentum perspective, but from the perspective of putting a seed of doubt in the heads of the Bruins power play, and how that might have been a factor in the misfires with the man advantage in game seven.

Then I thought about the fact that I'm 35 years old, and will be having my first kid in five weeks, and whether the Bruins actually did me some kind of favor by losing, as I can now focus more entirely on getting ready for the responsibility of parenting. That made me think about back when I was in college, and thought for a second about how the Bruins missed the playoffs for the first time in 20 something years, and started to suck really hard, and shipped Ray Bourque out of town, and I wondered if the Bruins were deciding to suck so I could better concentrate on my studies. Then I thought about the time the Bruins completely melted down, traded Joe Thornton for less than what he was worth, and how at that time how I wondered if the Bruins were actually doing me a solid, because I'd have more time to focus on my writing.

Then I thought "Hey Bruins- enough with the fucking favors!"

Damnit.

Then I wondered how many years Tim Thomas has left, and got silently mad at something I read on the puck daddy blog about how Thomas will never win an overtime series. I'm not quite sure how you can take a guy whose unconventional style made him the best goaltender all year, and somehow blame that that style on the Bruins playoff loss. You dance with the girl who brought you, and Tim Thomas was fantastic all year. You can generically criticize Thomas for his rebound control, I guess, but he'd punched out several rebounds earlier in the overtime, and handled them brilliantly. That Walker rebound wasn't some platter that got coughed out into the slot. The guy went hard to the net and batted it right out of the air.

Then I washed the shampoo out of my hair.

Ultimately, the Boston Bruins came into this season a young hungry team who in the previous year's playoffs, battled back from a 3-1 deficit only to lose in game seven of the first round. This season, they took that feeling, blasted through the first half of the season like a team possessed, grappled with trying to maintain their urgency when the playoffs were a certainty, and battled back from a 3-1 deficit to lose in game seven in the SECOND round.

So you know, that's progress, right?

On the bright side, this could mean tickets to the Winter Classic at Fenway next might be slightly more attainable.

Goddamn it, Bruins.

I guess I'm a Blackhawks fan now.

Anybody know how to spell Bufuglien?

Coping with loss

2009-05-15T10:13:00.004-04:00

My boss, who is not much of a sports fan, is in Framingham, Massachusetts today for meetings, and mentioned in an email that he was feeling a bit out of step with some of the office banter in the wake of last night's heartbreaker. So in the spirit of that M*A*S*H* episode where Hawkeye and Trapper John teach Radar a couple of context-free lines he can use to impress one of the more cultured young nurses at the 4077 (e.g. "That's highly significant"), I decided to send him a few key phrases he could drop into casual conversation that would help him fit in:

"Hey, you can't blame Timmy on that last one. He got us this far."

"You gotta admit, Bitz was a bright spot."

"I hope Scott Walker gets a painful rash."

I think as long as no one asks any follow-up questions, he's golden.

Feel free to add your own in the comments.

Crap.

2009-05-15T00:05:00.000-04:00

Shoulda said yes to the Hedda Lettuce thing.

Have you ever got a work email that made your heart sink?

2009-05-14T15:28:00.004-04:00

As I'm sure you know if you're reading this blog, I'm pretty excited about tonight's game seven between the Bruins and the Hurricanes. What you might not know, is this blog not updated as often as usual because I got a job a few months back blogging for Dumb As A Blog over on truTV. If you're just interested in my posts, click here, but Samm is a Detroit Red Wing fan and she blogs about hockey from time to time too.

Anyway, my colleague Susie and I got the following email from my boss today around 3:00 PM:

Ritch, Susie

I know it’s last minute, but a friend of a friend is running a gay film series and I promised we’d do something on the blog. Basically, I need someone to go to Clearview Cinema on 23rd at about 8.45pm tonight and interview this guy Hedda Lettuce, then watch the film with him and stay through the movie, which should get out around 11pm. We should also take some pictures. The guy Hedda has a big web following so this will bring in much-needed traffic.

Susie, this is normally something I’d send you to handle, but I know your brother’s in town. So Ritch, can you go? We’ll pay you to work from 8.30 to 11.30 and even buy dinner (no more than about $15, please).

Let’s talk later about appropriate questions.

http://newyork.timeout.com/events/events-meetings/283299/chelsea-classics

Thanks. Again, sorry for the last minute timing.

Danny

It bears mentioning that Susie's brother is in town because their mother is ill, so my first instinct, sending an email that replied to all saying "sorry Sus, I have a hockey game to watch tonight, so if you could blow off your sick mom and hit the gay film festival for me" really didn't seem like an appropriate course of action.

Stewing, I decided the only way to get around this was to line up someone else as a guest blogger, get them the gig, and then email everybody with my brilliant solution. I immediately thought of Ophira Eisenburg, who is a great comic and storyteller (and Calgary Flames fan), and got her on the phone. I'd already pitched the gig to her, explained about Hedda Lettuce, and got her to tentatively cancel the other gig she had tonight, when my boss ducked into my cubicle, asked if I was trying to get someone to fill the gig, and said he needed to talk to me. He looked a little stern, as though this was not the kind of gig I should be outsourcing, and asked me to come talk to him in his office. I hastily told Ophira I'd call her back, and went into my bosses office.

"So- you're trying to get someone else to do this gig?"

"Um, well, I..."

"Well don't worry about it, because it's a prank.I know it's game seven tonight. We all thought we'd have a little fun- Susie was in on it too."

My boss, and everyone gathered outside his office door burst into laughter. I called Ophira back, explained I was the victim of a cruel hoax, and promptly booked her on my comedy show I host at Comix comedy club every third friday of the month.

She laughed at me too.

At any rate, my path is now clear:

Thursday Night: Watch Bruins/Hurricanes game seven

Friday Morning: Begin plotting my revenge...

Home sweet home?

2009-05-14T09:44:00.008-04:00

I realize I've been pretty quiet around here this post-season, but in my defense, I was under the assumption that the Stanley Cup playoffs were canceled this year. I guess there could be some other explanation as to why the Devils are no longer playing, but I am not interested in hearing what that might be.

Anyway, now that the Devils have voluntarily bowed out of the Cup race (I'm guessing so they can devote more time to lifesaving medical research or reading to the blind), I am, by default, rooting for the Bruins. Partly because Ritch is my friend, partly because it would be cool to have an Original Six final, and partly because the Penguins suck so hard.

But Bruins fans - even bandwagoners like me - have cause to be worried. Not just because they had a big hill to climb being down 3-1 to a Carolina squad that I understand is pretty talented (no specifics, please!) but because if I'm reading the brackets right, ~~eight~~ seven of the ten teams eliminated so far this year have suffered that fate on home ice:

Detroit over Columbus
Vancouver over St. Louis
Chicago over Calgary
Boston over Montreal
Carolina over New Jersey (Wait, what?)
Pittsburgh over Philadelphia
~~Chicago over Vancouver~~ (NOTE: See comments)
Pittsburgh over Washington

And of those ~~eight~~ seven, three were Game 7s - two of which were won by the visiting team.

So what does that mean for tonight in Boston? Maybe nothing. Maybe something. But at a minimum, it means I spent too much time looking into this, so you people are going to read about it.

Go Bs!

P.S. Confidential to LL in Newark - Please look into whether there are any more Staals rattling around that may have been overlooked. And if not, maybe FedEx a bottle of wine, a tin of oysters and a few Barry White albums up to Thunder Bay.

AHF Jukebox

2009-05-13T02:36:00.001-04:00

I understand the viewpoint of everyone in this video:

2009-05-12T02:31:00.006-04:00

The Sharks fan, the Dad, the cat.

Each of their points, all so valid, so real, so painfully, wonderfully great.

The Kid: so young, so passionate, so unaware of what the repercussions of his actions might be. Still, as over the top as he is, he HAS A POINT. It was supposed to be the Sharks' year. It was to avoid a similar display that Joe Thornton elected not to address the media I suspect.

The Dad: So aware, so dorky, so goddamn DAD-like, that his reaction to an admittedly bad situation dooms his kid to the worst of what he initially feared.

The Cat: Wants to play him out, but waits- is something better coming? Yes. Wants to play him out again, waits for something EVEN BETTER. Just as he thinks the time as come, he waits again. Hits the last beat and aww yeah, he plays his ass out. Like Father, like son.

This is a like a Greek Myth. Seriously, if Joseph Campbell were to write and direct a Youtube video, this would be it.

I'm gonna publish this and then might watch it thirty more times.

It's that goddamn good. If the Sharks ever win the cup, they should fucking hand it to this kid first. He's paid the price, man. He's paid the price.

I'll tell ya- if the Bruins lose tonight, I might be acting the same way.

Of course, that's a big part of why I don't generally videoblog.

Two things that the members of the Boston Bruins know:

2009-05-11T02:21:00.003-04:00

Scott Walker's number is 24

Jussi Jokinen's number is 36

Disicpline is important, but they know.

They know.

Carolina here we come!

2009-05-10T22:34:00.003-04:00

Great game, but the job isn't done.

Still- even if you aren't a Carolina Hurricanes or Boston Bruins fan, I think that you should be rooting for the Bruins.

I mean, don't we all want to see this kid back in the stands for game seven?

Great game from the Bruins and from Captain Chara.

Also, in case you were concerned that this blog wasn't providing enough of me- here's a picture of my cat Grapes drinking a glass of scotch to the B's victory.

Game six, man.

Game six.

I'll take it!

2009-05-10T18:32:00.002-04:00

Great first period by the B's, with Captain Chara picking up an assist (maybe a goal?) on the powerplay, and Savard ignoring 17,565 people screaming the word "SHOOT!" and showing why he's one of the best passers in the league.

And how about Milan Lucic?

I don't want to say that Lucic was smelling blood in the water, but this chick had a better chance of getting out of the way.

That said, the Bruins have 40 minutes to play, and this is a Carolina team with a lot of pride. I mean, every single one of those guys have to wake up and look at themselves in the mirror.

And in Brind'Amour's case, that's a pretty herculean chore.

And yes, I'm aware that I make fun of Brind'Amour being horrible looking a lot. Enjoy this post from 2006, perhaps the first time I said so.

Lookin' at you, Chara.

2009-05-10T01:55:00.002-04:00

Hey, big man.

It's now almost 2:00 AM eastern time as I write this, and as a dedicated Bruins fan, I spent the last 25 minutes watching bonus material from the new History of the Boston Bruins DVD. I just ordered it from Netflix, and decided that today was the day to watch it. If tomorrow (now today's)game goes the way of the last three, I won't much be in the mood.

Anyway, I was watching the DVD extras, and saw a nice little featurette about how you climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, or at least got as far as Gilman's point, two hours from the highest point in Africa.

And then, you went back down.

From Rob Simpson's journal of the trip on Boston Bruins.com:

The next three hours consisted of climbing almost exclusively on scree. We dug in, sucked it up, and after a handful of rests, some team building words of encouragement, and some timely “pole’-pole’s” thrown in, we finally arrived at Gilman’s Point. The last two hundred yards were excruciating on mind and body. A few minutes after sunrise, we stood at 18,650 feet.

A snow filled crater sat below us within the huge volcanic bowl of Kilimanjaro. Huge glaciers stood in the distance to the East, and also closer to us on the west side of the summit. Also off to the left, a narrow ridge path, a combination of ice and lava rock, stretched out before us. It led up to Uhuru Point, another kilometer off, and another 800 feet above us, to the highest point in Africa.

We took a few minutes to celebrate and photograph our accomplishment. Out came the video camera(s), and then out came a question.

“Who’s going on to Uhuru?” Mark Brender asked.

Darryl said no, he was feeling some altitude symptoms, as would Brender a few minutes later. Chara also declined, but his decision was based on fatigue and hockey, not desire.

“Too tired guys, I can’t chance a step, can’t mess with the hockey,” he basically said.

Well, OK big man- I hate to say it, but you're in a 3-1 hole, had your ass handed to you over the last three games, and now you're coming back to Boston with the season on the line.

This is what you've been saving it for. And, not to be too much of a prick about it, but you're currently a minus four with no points in this series, and you're wearing the same C on your sweater once worn by a couple of Bruins d-men by the names of Bourque and Orr.

The 2008-2009 Boston Bruins have never really faced any adversity until now. You're the captain, and I'm putting it on you.

Suit up Z.

Now you really have a mountain to climb.

Can you finish this one?

"As Jackson and Pollock look on?"

2009-05-08T20:08:00.003-04:00

Just heard that announced in the first period of the Canes Bruins game.

I checked the Bruins blog, and sure enough:

* Kevin Pollock and Dave Jackson will be the referees. Jean Morin and Thor Nelson will be the linesmen.

Seriously, if those guys aren't careful it'll be a huge mess out there:

The Carolina Hurricanes hire a adorable little girl to sing the National Anthem-

2009-05-08T19:39:00.002-04:00

- to counterbalance the shock, horror and revulsion that Canes fans have when they see the horrible face of Rod Brind'Amour in person.

I mean, for Christ's sake look at him.

He looks even worse without his uniform.

Old Friends

2009-05-02T14:27:00.005-04:00

So, I'm sitting here watching game one of Pens/Caps, and seeing Bill Guerin on the Penguins has caused my mind to drift once again to the Bruins.

As much as I hate the Penguins, and I DO (maybe more than even Alexei Kovalev) I can't build up a lot of hate for Billy Guerin, a Massachusetts boy who came to Boston from Edmonton in a trade for Anson Carter, and put together back to back 40 goal seasons in one of the toughest eras to score in NHL history. He was the de-facto captain of the Bruins, but wasn't given the "C" because in the pre-salary cap days, the Bruins knew they weren't going to pay him, and it would be more than embarrassing to see yet another captain skate out of town for better money (Jason Allison) or a better chance at winning (Ray Bourque.)

So, after a great year playing on a line with Joe Thornton and Sergei Samsonov, Billy Guerin did what most people did who wanted ridiculous money before the lockout: signed with the Dallas Stars. He promptly got hurt (my brother liked to say he was wearing a pair of baggy shorts, and his wallet swung around and hit him in the thigh) and based on the games I saw him in, never really seemed to get that scoring mojo back, even during a short stint in San Jose, where he was re-united with Joe Thornton. After a disappointing stint with the last place Islanders, it's been interesting to see Guerin playing well with the Pens, and re-uniting with Hal Gill, another former Bruin from Massachusetts. Gill had his detractors in Boston, but I always thought he was a solid player. Getting shipped out of town after the Bruins signed Zdeno Chara is no shame, they got a better big man, and Gill not only landed where he could, but played great in last year's run to the Stanley Cup final.

But even in the Bruins series against the Montreal Canadiens this year, I couldn't get away from old friends. Glen Metropolit, who was a great role player on the Bruins last year, and a key component in their epic seven game series with the Habs last season, found himself on the other side of the rivalry at the end of this season after being odd man out in Philly due to salary cap issues. It was nice to see the friendly handshakes he gave and received in the line after that series this year.

And during the Bruins' disciplined, workman-like beating of the Hurricanes in game one of their semifinal last night, there was old friend Sergei Samsonov, who use to cause Bruins fans to pull their hair out with his tendency to beat three guys, skate into the corner and then fall down. Still, Sammy is a guy who I enjoyed watching for so long, that I have a hard time wishing him ill.

It bears mentioning that if the Sharks hadn't performed their yearly April chomping of a high voltage power line, the Bruins could have not only dispatched the Canadiens, the team who knocked out their finest squad since this recent band of B's in the first round, but then had the potential chance to go through each member of the top line of that team in subsequent rounds (Samsonov in Carolina, Guerin in Pittsburgh, and Thornton in San Jose.)

Of course, that'll never happen now.

But you know, kinda neat, right?

Let's go Bruins!

Since No One On The Versus Broadcast Seems To Have Mentioned It:

2009-04-28T01:16:00.003-04:00

Congratulations to Jeremy Roenick on a tremendous career.

There have certainly been some ups and downs, but all things considered, the NHL was far richer for having him in it.

It's a sad irony that the night in which Roenick likely played his last game in the NHL is the same night that the Chicago Blackhawks won their first playoff series since he left.

Anybody remember this kid?

Many thanks for the memories JR- I'm sure we'll see you around.

Oh Dear God No

2009-04-23T15:26:00.001-04:00

http://twitter.com/StanFischler

Adieu, Les Habitants....

2009-04-22T21:07:00.002-04:00

Don't weep, Canadiens fans. Your 100th season may have ended, but your hearts- your hearts...will go on.

Man- that song gets me.

Every time.

What, you don't like that one?

How about this?

Or maybe something a bit more family friendly?

This is 8 minutes long, but let's face it, you're not watching any more hockey till October. Skip ahead to the 1:50 mark if you're really in a hurry.

We Approve:

2009-04-13T16:26:00.000-04:00

Many a true word hath been spoken in jest

2009-04-11T08:58:00.002-04:00

From Tom Gulitti's indispensable Fire and Ice blog, here's Devils winger Brian Gionta on becoming the Devils' fifth 20-goal scorer this year:

"I would have had 40 if I had a different center," Gionta joked. "[Dainius Zubrus] should win the Selke for shutting me down."

Now that's a pretty good joke - especially for an athlete - but when he skated on a line with Scott Gomez, Gionta set the all-time Devils record for goals in a season with 48. Zubrus, on the other hand, who was brought to the team to be its top line center, is currently 7th on the team in assists, and 8th in goals.

Ha ha.

Bruins- Lucky and Good.

2009-03-23T00:25:00.002-04:00

Great game by the Boston Bruins today as they were both lucky and good.

They got some goals through Brodeur that you don't normally see beating that guy, but he was due for a letdown, and this game meant a heck of a lot more to the Bruins that it did to the Devils.

The Bruins goals were examples of making your own luck. Yes, they got lucky with some bounces or shaky goaltending, but each goal was a direct result of going hard to the net, and following the puck into a danger area. They desperately needed this win, especially against a good team.

The Devils, for their part, are coming down from Marty's big win. Sure, it'd be nice for them to catch the Bruins, but they've been too hungry and too hot ever since Marty came back, and they just plain old didn't NEED this win. It was anybody's game in the first, but Marty was due for a letdown, and this was it. It'll be interesting to see how the Devils handle the final ten games. They played fine, and scored a beautiful goal, but the Bruins played slightly better, got some bounces and had far superior goaltending. Also, the Bruins really pinned the Devils down in the third, a skill they desperately needed to regain of late.

Despite their next three meaningless contests against the Leafs, Flyers and Bolts, the Bruins will close out April with an opportunity to potentially dash a team's playoff hopes for the next five in a row. The Senators are still a VERY dark horse to make the playoffs, but given their recent winning ways, if they can stay in contention, and the Rangers, Habs and Panthers continue to not get points they should be getting, I can't imagine that they'd be dreading playing the Bruins twice in their final five. If the Bruins had blown this lead against the Devils, the Sens would definately be circling those games on their calendars. They still might. Bookending the second Senators game are first the Rangers, then the Canadiens, two teams who will likely already be in the playoffs for those games.

As a Bruins fan, I'm far less worried about the postseason than I was earlier this week, as they played a 60 minute game today against a good team. That's all you can ask.

Damnit, Bruins.

2009-03-20T02:42:00.001-04:00

I said I wouldn't get worried.

I'm a little worried.

Marty Breaks the Record - Video Highlights

2009-03-18T15:30:00.006-04:00

St. Marty's Day kicked off with a small parade:

Then it was right to warmups. Note the hot dogging at around the :25 mark...perfectly appropriate on free hot dog night:

The scene and standing ovation right after St. Patrik set up the short-handed game winner. And, oh yeah, becomes the Devils' all-time leading points leader:

Marty takes a victory lap:

Witnessing Dyslexia

2009-03-18T13:00:00.002-04:00

Sorry about that.

I mean't Five Hundred and Fifty Two.

Wins.

Not Five Hundred and Twenty Two (see comments.)

Ahem.

I am a Dumbass.

You see what happens when newspapers fold?

Sorry about that folks.

Witnessing History

2009-03-18T00:52:00.005-04:00

Ben and I just got back from the Rock, after seeing Martin Brodeur become the winningest goaltender of all time, and as a nice bonus, we also saw Patrik Elias become the leading all time scorer of the New Jersey Devils.

You need anything else to go well?

I still got my free beer.

Take that, Deb Kaufman.

I have been to a lot of hockey games, but this was the first time I really felt I witnessed something historic, and just about everything about the game was something special. Here are some initial thoughts:

-The Devils were relentless in the opening minutes, blazing out to a 2-0 lead. I was sitting with Ben and I asked him, "what do you think was said in the locker room before this game- anything?" He replied,"if it takes a speech to get you motivated for this, I don't know what I can do for you." Just imagining the intense silence before the game in the locker room was pretty cool.

-The Hawks were blown off the rink for the first 10 minutes, yet according to recorded shots, remained competitive. I'd be interested to see how many of those first period shots were from way outside, and how many of those shots the TV broadcast judged as quality chances. I can't imagine there were many.

-As shellshocked as the Hawks looked early, Duncan Keith looked great. In the largely ineffective Chicago powerplay in the second half of the first period Keith almost singlehandedly kept the play alive and the puck in the zone. That dude is a good hockey player who played with a cool head when almost everyone else on that young blackhawk team was gripping their sticks so tight they almost snapped in their hands. Both Kane and Toews in seperate instances seemed insistent on beating everybody on the Devils instead of getting a safe, smart shot off, only to be broken up by the aggressively collapsing Devils.

-Elias became the leading scorer for the Devils with an assist on a shorthanded goal by Brian Gionta in the later part of the second period. Despite the fact that the Blackhawks answered right back, the fact that Marty had been scored upon did not phase the crowd or the energy one bit, as we were still all on our feet cheering Elias. Truly, Elias took the heat off of Marty, and denied the Hawks any ability to take the crowd out of the game. Ben and I wondered how many times each one of those men have done that for each other over the course of their long Devils careers.

-I saw a woman wearing a Patrick Roy Avalanche Jersey. This struck me as poor form, seeing as Roy, in that sweater, had defeated the Devils and Brodeur in game seven of the Stanley Cup finals. While I hate Patrick Roy completely, I understand honoring him on this night. But at least wear a Canadiens jersey, lady. I mean- for Christ's sake. You're in the Devils house, and it's Marty's night. No need to bring up that game.

-The New Jersey Devils Fan "Rangers Suck" chant needs to stop. You wanna know why? Cause it's true. You have the winningest goalie in NHL history and have mopped the floor with the Rangers since the mid 1990's. Enough with the goddamn inferiority complex. It's time for a grown-up rivalry. I enjoyed hearing the "Marty's Better" chant. It was born out of a legitimate gripe when Jean Sebastian Giguere won the Conn Smythe trophy for the Most Valuable Player of the Stanley Cup finals, despite losing to Brodeur's Devils. And now, he is better. Than everybody. This chant, and greeting Gretzky's Coyotes with the "Mickey Mouse Club" theme song, are the chants I'd like to see grow and flourish. Hey Devils fans- you're winners. Act like it.

-Chicago, to their credit, made Marty work for it. Great finish to a great game.

-It'll be real interesting to see how this Devils team reacts to this down the stretch, and into the playoffs. Was this their Stanley Cup, or the event that forges them into a playoff beast? Only time will tell, but as a Bruins fan, I'd rather not speculate- I'd rather just enjoy this night, enjoy this moment and celebrate being a hockey fan who got to see something special tonight.

Five Hundred and Twenty Two.

Congratulations to Martin Brodeur on being the best.

Ever.

(UPDATE: I know, I know. I fucked up. Thanks commenters!)

Oh What a Night

2009-03-17T23:53:00.007-04:00

Please write your own introductory paragraph connecting that song title → The Four Seasons → Jersey Boys → the New Jersey Devils → Martin Brodeur, because I'm too damn tired.

And yes, I know it's a tenuous connection. I mean, what the AHF staff witnessed at the Prudential Center in Newark tonight was a once in a lifetime event, while that song is about something (a guy losing his virginity to a hooker) that happens all the time.

Or so I'm told.

Full wrap-up coming tomorrow (barring laziness), but for now:

Congratulations, Marty.

Go, Marty, Go!

2009-03-15T16:57:00.003-04:00

Watch this space Tuesday and Wednesday, as both Ben and I will be attending Tuesday's potentially history making game as Marty Brodeur attempts to defeat the Chicago Blackhawks and become the winningest NHL goalie of all time.

While tickets are still available to watch the most significant record we've seen challenged since Wayne Gretzky eclipsed Gordie Howe in points, it seems like the Devils have cancelled their "Guys night out" promotion, which offered seat upgrades and a free beer.

The website says it's a "system error," but I'll be surprised if that gets fixed before Tuesday. I already got my ticket, and if Big Lou welches on my free beer, there will be hell to pay.

Islanders glass reporter Deb Kaufman once claimed to get me a beer and welched, and I still haven't forgotten about it.

Watch your ass, Lamoriello, watch your ass.

What the fuck?

2009-03-13T23:54:00.003-04:00

Seriously.

What the fuck?

What's the message there?

Bobby Orr played his heart out, sustained severe knee injuries that required multiple surgeries, became the greatest player in NHL history, and the message that fucking Mastercard takes out of that inspirational story is "Buy now, pay later?"

Hey Mastercard!

Go fuck yourself!

Seriously.

Go fuck yourself.

Sometimes I'm envious of Canadians...

2009-03-13T16:29:00.005-04:00

My brother is on a business trip in Calgary this week. We were talking on g-chat, and he said he met a guy up there who was a big hockey fan, young kid, in his 20s. They apparently talked about the game for about 20 minutes, and when the discussion turned to Barry Melrose, this Canadian guy told my brother he had no idea who that was.

As I said, sometimes I'm envious of Canadians.

Let's Go Devils!

2009-03-13T15:12:00.003-04:00

It's a tough time to be a Boston Bruins fan.

Not this season, this week.

While the B's are still holding a six point lead over the Devils (and everybody else in the east,) they are slumping. Over the last 10 games, only the lowly Tampa Bay Lightning have a worse record, and against the non-playoff bound Ottawa Senators, they allowed anxiety to creep into what had been a great start, and a game that should have been a slam dunk turned into a bit of a nail-biter. Had they lost it, it would have been devastating to team and fan morale.

On the other hand, who really cares?

All good teams go through slumps, and the question becomes not "are you in a slump?" but "when are you in a slump?," or "how do you respond?" And for right now, the Bruins are allowed to drop a couple games. They have earned that much. Don't get me wrong, I'm a Bruins fan, and I'd like to see them win 'em all. But if both the Bruins and the Devils play the next 10 games the same way they played the last 10 (Bruins 4-5-1, Devils 7-3-0) the Bruins are still tops in the east. And while that isn't an ideal outcome, from where we're sitting now, they would still be THE BEST TEAM IN THE EASTERN CONFERENCE.

That is by no means the end of the world, and it might do the Bruins a little good to feel vulnerable. They also would have three games to get their act together, including one against Montreal and another against Buffalo, games that just might give them an opportunity to knock one of those squads out of the playoff hunt. For the record, of their last 13 games half of them are coming against non-playoff teams, so I really don't expect a collapse.

Even if the Devils do catch the Bruins, that really doesn't matter either. Home ice is cool and all if you're a season ticket holder, but ask the Montreal Canadiens how much it helped them last season. In so far as opponents, the team who finishes in 7th or 8th is even more arbitrary than a flip of the coin, and right now, one win can make the difference between 9th and 6th in the East. The Bruins or the Devils are going to be playing the Rangers, Penguins, Sabres, Habs, Panthers or Hurricanes. Of that group, I'd like to avoid the Pens or the Canes right now, but there is no way to predict that. And the Bruins potentially dropping from first to second has no bearing whatsoever on predicting who they might play.

So it's in that spirit, that for the next two games at least, I'm rooting for the Devils. Marty Brodeur is two wins away from Patrick Roy's all time victories record, and is playing in his hometown of Montreal under the recently raised 33 banner of the player whose mark he is soon to eclipse. The only regret I have about that game is that I live in the New York Metropolitan area, so the Hockey Night in Canada Broadcast will be blacked out.

Should Marty tie the record in Montreal, in front of the fans who cheered on Patrick Roy for so many seasons, they return home on Tuesday to face a strong young Chicago Blackhawks team who while talented, have played .500 hockey over their last 10, and had to get two of their Ws via overtime or shootout.

And, I'm going to that game.

So the way I figure it, I'll be looking in on the Bruins for the next week or so, but I just can't obsess over them. For the next 5 days, I'm a Devils fan. All I have to do is root against the Canadiens (easy) and then head to a live hockey game on Tuesday, and hope to witness history. Even if the Devs lose in Montreal, I can go root for Brodeur to tie on Tuesday. And, unlike most Devils games, this history making contest looks to be a full house.

Oh, no- not because of Marty Brodeur.

They're giving away free beer that night. I know it's St. Patrick's Day and all, but I'd like to think this promotion is Lou's gift to Marty.

So go Devils, go!

You know, until Wednesday.

The Curious Case of Dustin Dibble

2009-02-19T12:06:00.003-05:00

Well, my pal Susie who I work with at Dumb as a Blog just forwarded this to me, and a lot is being made of it. Apparently, this guy in New York City got drunk watching a hockey game in a bar, fell onto the subway tracks, had his foot severed by the train, and was just awarded a 2.3 million dollar settlement.

Mayor Bloomberg calls it "incomprehensible," the New York Post called it a "rebuke...of justice," and the Daily News said in a headline, that the jury was even stupider than Dibble himself.

I don't know, I feel for this Dustin Dibble kid.

Seriously, if getting drunk in a bar and watching hockey is a crime, lock me up. Plus, none of these news stories mentioned the date of the incident: April 25, 2006. Anybody remember what was going on in April of 2006? That's right, it was the return of the the Stanley Cup playoffs, which had been canceled the previous year due to the lockout. I'm not saying it's not a tragedy, I'm just saying that there were a lot of guys out there who who would have given their left foot to watch some playoff hockey that spring.

I'm not saying I condone public intoxication, But that's something to celebrate, people. There hadn't been any playoff hockey on for almost two years, we'd just gotten through a long cold winter, and they were dropping the puck. Additionally, while the news story didn't specify what game he was watching, it bears mentioning that the Oilers, who eventually came out of the west and were playing great, beat the Detroit Red Wings in double overtime that night.

I might have been out a little late that night myself.

Here's my blog post from that day, in which I warn hockey fans to choose the games they watch wisely.

And perhaps more tellingly, here's my blog post from April 26th, written just after the incident, in which it becomes clear that a hockey fan in New York City had few options when it came to watching games that were not the Devils and Rangers, a terrible series that the Devils swept.

So, while some are busy blaming liberals and lawyers for Mr. Dibble's accident and subsequent payday, I'll come right out and say it: I blame the NHL.

Sure, that subway conductor should have stopped the train, but Gary Bettman and Bob Goodenow shouldn't have stopped the previous year's playoffs, and the NHL should have had a half decent TV package in place, so that the only options to watch the double overtime in the first Stanley Cup playoff in two years wasn't a goddamn bar.

I say that if the City has to pay this kid 2.3 million, some of it oughta come from the NHL.

NHL to Fans: "Suck on This"

2009-02-10T16:51:00.003-05:00

Because nothing goes together like hockey and chocolate lollipops...it's a no-brainer! By which I mean, someone lacking a brain came up with this promotion.

A moment of silence

2009-01-25T18:30:00.007-05:00

Now that Zdeno Chara has broken the record in the NHL's Hardest Shot competition, this may mark the last All Star Game where we see the archival footage of the great Al Iafrate, who held the previous record for 16 long years. This is a significant loss, not because Iafrate's achievement has finally been surpassed, but because future generations will have no way of knowing how fucking ridiculous his haircut was:

Look at that goddamn thing. A terrifying hybrid of male pattern baldness, used-car-salesman-combover, and permed mullet...all held together with more oil than you'd find in Dick Cheney's stock portfolio.* I mean, he may have been the only guy in the league who supported the helmet rule for non-safety-related reasons.

It's too bad that Al has hung up the skates...in the age of the Honda Bridgestone ScotiaBank Upper Deck McDonald's Cisco Gatorade Dr. Scholl's Haagen Dazs Pamprin John Deere Verizon Playskool Super Skills Competition, I'm sure Al could have cut himself quite a lucrative deal with the good people over at Dapper Dan.

And just to cover my bases...please Lord, don't let him find this, read it, track me down, and fire a 105 mile-an-hour puck at my nuts.

*no longer VP, but still a valid reference!

All STAR BREAK SPECIAL!

2009-01-24T15:35:00.002-05:00

Look kids!

It's the new Gary Bettman collectible action figure!

Injured players MUST appear in Montreal!

Buy yours Today, OR ELSE.

Claude Julien vs. Rick Tocchet

2009-01-23T23:20:00.002-05:00

I'm watching a good interview with Boston Bruins and Eastern All Stars coach Claude Julien on the NHL Network leading up to the All-Star game.

Julien played a handful of games in the NHL with the Quebec Nordiques, and he was asked if he fought. Julien responded that he had, and added that"If you want to go on to YouTube, you can see Rick Tocchet break my nose."

I heard that, and thought- you know, I think I'd like to check that out!

And sure enough, here it is:

Youch.

Back in those days, Julien was in over his head with the current coach of the Tampa Bay Lighting. Not these days.

Oh, and if you wanna see Tocchet opening up another facial cut on a current member of the Bruins management, you can watch that here too, but you'll see that the Vice President gets in a few more solid shots.

Here's current Bruins broadcaster and former #1 overall pick Gord Kluzak faring slightly better:

Of course, Kluzak's got a better looking dance partner these days.

Seems like bum luck. I dig up Youtube clips of Rick Tocchet pounding on the faces of three different luminaries involved with the Boston Bruins, and none of them are Jeremy Jacobs.

As for Tocchet himself, I always liked the guy (Although I liked him less when he played the Bruins.) He was a skilled, scrappy player who was tough to play against, hit hard, and played the game the right way. The Bolts are in such bad shape these days, that he may not be destined to be a head coach forever, but he'll always have a job somewhere in hockey.

Bet on it.

Brendan Shanahan Signs with Devils

2009-01-15T22:59:00.002-05:00

Nope, this isn't a 20 year old post, Brendan Shanahan is a Devil once again.

It's hard to see this as anything but a positive for the Devils, and the price is right. With any luck, he'll get skate with Bobby Holik and Brian Rolston on "The Prodigal Son Line."

By the way, when Stan Fischler steals that, remember you heard it here first.

Of course, the really good thing about it is, when Shanahan finally retires, the Devils will get former captain Scott Stevens back from retirement in compensation.

DuPont stirs the pot-

2009-01-15T19:03:00.005-05:00

Well, if you're at all interested in the Boston Bruins, you probably check in on Kevin Paul DuPont's Boston Globe column.

Old KPD has always been a master of a writing style that if you are a fan of it, you might call "tempering one's expectations in the Bruins," and if you're not, you might call it "being a crusty old prick." I love DuPont, even though earlier this year, he managed to turn an article about the Bruins being legitimate cup contenders into a downer. And he came out with a doozy this week.

In the wake of the storm of rumors swirling out of Montreal that Vinny Lecavalier may be headed to the Habs, DuPont officially threw the Boston Bruins into the ring, suggesting that the Bruins have the young players and the money to swing a deal for Lecavalier, should the Tampa Bay captain decide that he might want play somewhere where Stanley can avoid those harmful UV rays.

And while DuPont has a point that yes, the Bruins do have some attractive tools to possibly lure Vinny to the hub, you can see that the old dog might just be pulling a classic DuPont "make you feel good about the Bruins, then kick you in the gut and laugh while you suck wind" move that he does so well.

Here's how he starts out:

The Bruins have the goods to make a deal for Vincent Lecavalier.
Quite something, isn't it? I mean, did you ever think you'd see that day?

OK, KPD- you got my attention.

Vincent Lecavalier, (despite some nagging injuries this season) is one of the most dynamic, complete hockey players in the NHL today. He's flown a little under the radar this season, what with the whole Barry Melrose show, but make no mistake about it. This Bruins fan could learn to love Vinny real quick. Anybody remember when he fought Jarome Iginla in the Stanley Cup Finals?

But watch him pull the rug out:

The Bruins could part with two first-round picks, or part with one first-rounder and offer a choice of former top picks Zach Hamill (No. 7 overall, 2007) or Joe Colborne (16th, 2008). The Bruins would not offer Kessel and Krejci, but could be enticed to give up one or the other. Lawton, a former agent, most likely would grab Krejci, one of his former clients. One of Boston's other two prime young forwards, Wheeler and Lucic, then would be on Tampa's wish list. Getting painful now, isn't it? Parting with either Kessel or Krejci would be hard, but not impossible, not when the return is Lecavalier. But to layer on either Wheeler or Lucic, or perhaps even defenseman Wideman, then comes the moaning and groaning.

Yep, there's the patented DuPont groin punch.

And yeah, it does hurt.

Still with 145 comments and counting, DuPont might claim to not understand the internet, but that dude is generating some serious page views. And, despite the fact that I really doubt this deal will ever happen with the Bruins, I would like to thank DuPont for stirring the pot for a discussion of really fun hypotheticals with my brother and my buddy Duben, who also loves the B's.

In short, after we discussed it, here's why we think that deal will never happen (with Vinny's monster contract aside)

-The impetus for the deal is ostensibly for the Bruins to deal with injuries to their forwards. So dealing for Lecavalier would make sense if, they weren't coming back. With the exception of Marco Sturm, who is done for the year, Lucic will probably be back for the Washington game this weekend, Bergeron's recovery looks promising, and Kessel, who just came down with mono, should be back in about a month. Let's not forget, Kessel beat testicular cancer, he can handle a little goddamn mono. I remain optimistic for Kessel's healthy return (and as an optimist, I refer to his scrotum as "half full.")

-So if our guys are coming back in a month or so, the worst case scenario is that we are so crippled by injuries this month that we go into a month long tailspin, and take a drop in the standings. Oh wait- the Bruins have a 12 point lead over the next closest team in the division, and a 9 point lead on the next closest team in the Eastern conference. That effectively means we can spot the rest of the teams in the Eastern conference at least 4 regulation wins, and still have be in first place going into the playoffs. I'm not exactly afraid these injuries are dropping the B's from playoff contention.

-Any big trade with the Bruins this season would have to involve a goaltender. Thomas and Fernandez have been phenomenal this year, and all reports from training camp had Tukka Rask being the best goalie in camp. Conventional wisdom said that they were going to play Manny, let him rack up a few wins, then trade him. But why mess with a good thing? So that's where we are. But, with a major prize like Vinny on the line, and sacrifices that would have to be made, the Bruins would have to see that they are flush in the goaltending position right now. Thomas is the #1 goaltender, and is getting up there in years. Rask is young and unproven, so if they were going to trade anybody, it'd probably be Manny. And the Lightning could use a veteran down there to press Mike Smith. Oli Kolzig was great in his time, but he's 38 years old, and injured. For the Bruins to suggest a deal without Fernandez included seems unrealistic.

-Oh, and one more thing. If Vinny wants to come to Boston, he's not keeping number 4.

We can only hope that KPD was stirring the pot for the sake of a spirited discussion, and maybe to pull a little bit of Red Sox/Yankees hi jinx to get the Habs to up their offer. If they know that the Bruins would consider giving Krejci, Kessel and two picks, maybe they'd offer up something a little more team crippling than Christopher Higgins and a single, lousy Kostisyn. I mean, who the hell wants one Kostisyn? It's like getting a two legged dog. Sure it's cute and your heart goes out to it, but let's be honest, he's not catching a lot of Frisbees for you.

Let's go ahead and call a Kostisyn what it really is: a poor man's Sedin. And who the hell would be interested in that?

Maybe the genius behind Saw 4?

A brief thought on tonight's Bruins victory over the Montreal Canadiens:

2009-01-13T21:32:00.001-05:00

Thank You, Marco Sturm.

2009-01-10T16:59:00.002-05:00

With all my excitement about the recent Bruins victories, and anticipation about Tuesday's matchup with the Montreal Canadiens, it's worth taking a moment here for Marco Sturm.

It was announced this weekend that Sturm will be having knee surgery and is done for both the rest of the regular season and the playoffs. This is not only a big loss for the team, but has to be a big disappointment for Sturm himself, who has been nothing but a solid competitor and a great Bruin ever since coming here in the Joe Thornton trade. That was no easy way to come on to any team, especially seeing as everyone in the league (pretty must accuratley) stated that it was a terrible trade for the Boston Bruins. Both Wayne Primeau and Brad Stuart have moved on, but Marco Sturm has hung in there, in good times and bad.

I'm not sure how seriously players take the idea that they need to fill the void of a player they are traded for, but when you look at where the Bruins were when the trade was made (in terrible shape) and where they are now (best in the NHL), Marco Sturm was there. And, lest we all forget, now that Michael Ryder has excelled on the Krecji-Wheeler line, it was Sturm who had Ryder's place on that line before Sturm went down with concussion symptoms this year, and it was with Sturm that those two started to first display the magic that they now bring to every game they play in.

Not to knock Ryder, but Sturm was there first. Then in the game when he came back from that injury, all Sturm did was score on his first shift, before sustaining the injury that has now ended his season.

Additionally, let's not forget game six of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals last season against Montreal. It was Marco Sturm who won that game with the biggest goal for the Boston Bruins in 20 years. Some of us, like me, are Bruin diehards. Some of us watched the Bruins through thick and thin, but in the city of Boston, there were a lot of good teams to watch over the past 8 years, and many of them stopped watching. That goal was the moment that got them back. That goal, in that game which forced game seven- that was the moment when the Bruins won back their city. That goal was a clarion call that hockey was back in Boston, city of champions, titletown, and Marco Sturm got it for us.

You can get the studio version of that goal all over the internet, but here's a great hand-held shot of it taken by a fan from the upper deck. Listen to that crowd:

It also breaks my heart a little bit that Marco Sturm will be missing perhaps the most anticipated regular season Bruins game since Ray Bourque came home in an Avalanche sweater- the February 10th game when Joe Thornton returns to Boston. Thanks to the imbalanced schedule, Joe Thornton has only played in Boston in a San Jose sweater once before and he was thrown out in the first minute. This is a huge game for the Bruins fans, a huge game for Joe Thornton, and a huge game for the league as the two best teams in the NHL face off in what could be a preview of the Stanley Cup final. You better believe that Marco Sturm had it circled on his calendar.

I'm terribly sorry he won't be on the ice for that game, or pulling on a B's sweater in the playoffs this year as a legitimate Stanley Cup contender.

So thanks for all your efforts this year, Marco Sturm.

Real Bruins fans remember your contributions, your sacrifices, and yes, that amazing goal in game six. You made Bruins fans believe, and you got the ball rolling.

Thank you for that.

Get well soon.

We'll see you in October.

Welcome Byron Bitz!

2009-01-10T14:17:00.003-05:00

BITZY!

BITZ!

Love this new kid!

Comes up for his first NHL game, gets his first point, hits hard, is strong on the puck, not afraid to jump into the scrum for the Bruins, and is alliterative as hell.

Budding Boston Bruin Byron Bitz Breaks Barriers, Bests Brind'Amour's Boys!

BITZY!

UPDATE: Bitz's parents were at the game. I have no confirmation that there names are Barry and Barbara, but I really hope so.

SON-OF-A-BITZ!

What it feels like to be a Bruins fan these days:

2009-01-10T13:30:00.002-05:00

Pretty damn good.

(screengrab from the NESN broadcast, fashion provided by this kid's excellent parents)

I'm calling it.

2009-01-09T23:46:00.003-05:00

The New York Rangers will not make the playoffs this year.

Just wanted to get that on the record.

New Rules:

2009-01-07T11:41:00.003-05:00

Biting people is allowed.

Just don't go back for sloppy seconds.

UPDATE: Chewtoo gets Two

Hey- Did anybody else have their Versus Broadcast cut out part of the Bruins-WIld Game?

2009-01-06T23:56:00.003-05:00

Maybe it was my DVR, but it seemed to me that they just cut away from the entire last half of the game, and went right into Sports Soup.

Bummer.

Also, bummer for the B's on their first back-to-back regulation losses.

Here's hoping it builds some character.

OK- yes, I hate Sidney Crosby...but-

2009-01-06T00:20:00.002-05:00

I gotta say- I feel bad for the guy.

I went to the Rangers/Pens game last night, and man, the Penguins are falling apart.

I think it's time to ask the question-

Is the NHL asking too much of Sidney Crosby?

The crowd was chanting "Crosby Sucks" with the same zeal that they shouted "Sloppy Seconds" when Dion Phaneuf came to town, and while sure- the Madison Square Garden crowd has always been tough, I wonder- has the NHL put too many eggs in Crosby's basket?

He's a great player, but can any player handle that weight?

Look- I hate the Penguins, and there are a lot of elements of Crosby's game that I have big problems with. But if the Pens keep folding the way they have been, will the pressure of the league's marketing bury one of it's brightest stars?

I hope not.

I mean, not enough that the Penguins actually turn it around, but still-

A real fan of the game wants it's greatest stars to shine.

The way to do that is by reporting the excellence of the NHL honestly, and honestly- the NHL has been over-promoting this kid- yes KID- for years.

Sidney Crosby will be 22 years old in August.

Could the NHL be killing Sidney Crosby?

Some of you

2009-01-04T08:04:00.003-05:00

probably thought "There's no way Ritch could possibly hate Sidney Crosby more than he does right now."

Let's find out together!

Anybody wonder what Jaromir Jagr is doing over in Russia?

2009-01-02T13:20:00.002-05:00

If your answer was "enjoying a moment of quiet dignity," you are incorrect:

Holy cow.

In other news, TSN reports that in Pittsburgh's loss to Boston last night, they started six American-born defensemen who all played college hockey.

Those D were:

Ryan Whitney
Alex Goligoski
Brooks Orpik
Kris Letang
Hal Gill
Mark Eaton

As an American Hockey Fan, that's a great thing for not only American born players, but for collegiate hockey programs. Sadly for the Pens, it also appears to be a great thing for opposing forwards from everywhere else in the world.

Winter Classic: After period three.

2009-01-01T16:10:00.003-05:00

Well, the game is over, and the Hawks just didn't bring their game, which made for a kind of a bummer ending to what was a great hockey game. Interesting to see if these two teams meet the Wings in the playoffs- these past two losses are a pretty sobering way to end a 9 game winning streak.

Some thoughts:

-Kudos to Darren Pang for letting us know that Ty Conklin took a bathroom break. Huet on the other hand, took his crap out on the ice.

-It's very classy and cool that they are opening up the ice space tomorrow for people to skate on for 10 dollars, with all of the money going to charity. They should do that every year.

-It is probably not worth saying this, but YES, the Winter Classic should happen every single year. Traditions are started when something is so much fun that you just really, really want to do it again. This game is one of those things. While the NHL never seems to miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity, this is just great for the game. Let's do it again next year, and let's do it at Fenway with the Bruins and Habs.

-I am now watching "The music of Seal on Ice" on NBC. It's fucking bizarre. This is one Seal that I wouldn't mind seeing clubbed to death. Or eaten by a large walrus. Either way would be fine.

- So far, the home team has lost both Winter Classics. Too bad. It's really cold out there, and that's a long walk back to your cars. I remember the mood on the walk to the parking lot after the game in Buffalo. That's a long, cold walk for a bunch of fans who were really psyched up to attend a game that is the hottest ticket in town. I really hope the home team wins next year. Unless it's in Montreal. I love watching those french bastards suffer.

- "Seal on Ice" is still on in the background. Seriously, I would love to meet the TV executive who actually stood up in a meeting and said "How about Seal on Ice?" I would greet him, ask how exactly how it was that he decided to combine those two particular things, then set his penis on fire. I mean, Holy Shit. Seal on Ice? For Christ's Sake.

- I've been watching those Bud Light "Drinkability" ads all afternoon. Is that really a selling point? That your beer is "drinkable?"I mean, it seems to suggest that they are fully aware that their beer sucks, and have decided to strongly assert- "No, we know that our beer is watery piss, but despite all that, you actually CAN drink it. Despite what you have heard and experienced, this beer actually can physically be consumed. It has drinkability." Basically, what they are saying in this ad is, I guess, their beer isn't frozen. Nice work, idiots.

-I haven't been writing much on this blog over the past few months, mainly because I generally write on this blog when I am upset about hockey, and as a Boston Bruins fan, things couldn't be better right now. Look what I wrote about the B's this time last year, and you can see that all the signs were there. And Phil Kessel is definately hitting the back of the net.

-Happy 2009 everyone!

Winter Classic: After period two.

2009-01-01T15:09:00.002-05:00

Well it's official ladies and gents- we have a hell of a hockey game on our hands.

Three unanswered goals from the defending Stanley Cup champs, a highlight reel go-ahead goal from Pavel Datsyuk.

One of the joys of watching this game from the greatest sports blogosphere on earth has been the great job Eric McErlain has been doing, posting video from the stands at the classic.

Here's some of his videos, which he threw up on Youtube:

A personal highlight for me was the Friday the 13th trailer. With apologies to Huet, Jason has the best looking hockey mask of the day. It was a new trailer that I haven't seen yet, but I am pretty fired up for this movie. Sure, other Friday the 13th movies have come and gone, but what does this one have that others haven't?

Topless Waterskiing.

That is what is known as raising the motherfucking bar.

I'm still commenting on the AOL Fanhouse liveblog, and had some fun with this exchange:

3:01
AdamGretz: If Bill Wirtz were still running the Hawks, would all of this be happening today?
3:02
Bruce Ciskie: Hell, no.
3:02
[Comment From Ritch]
It would be happening, but it wouldn't be televised.

No matter who loses today, the game of hockey wins.

Winter Classic: After period one.

2009-01-01T14:12:00.002-05:00

Hey all-

Unlike last year, when I was lucky enough to join the throng at Ralph in Buffalo, this New Year's Day I'm parked on my couch watching the Winter Classic, and it's a great day for hockey.

I'm having a heck of a time adding comments over at NHL Fanhouse, who are running a liveblog of the event.

Check it out here!

It's already a better game, hockey-wise, than last year, here's a few thoughts:

-Conklin doesn't look strong. The wrap-around goal was soft and I've questioned his positioning.
-The pacing is fun to watch, lots of back and forth.
-Whoever was supposed to be covering Havlat on his goal F'd up. That was a missed assignment, plain and simple.
-Scrappy. I love the hits and the scrums. I'd love to see some Winter Classic fisticuffs.
-This is the first time Chris Chelios has back to Wrigley since he saw the Cubs win the World Series.

I'll try to write a little recap after each period here as well.

Second period is about to start.

Happy New Year!

Happy Holidays!

2008-12-27T18:03:00.002-05:00

Like everybody else, I've been a bit busy over the holidays, but not so busy so as to not drop a quick blog post to let you know what Bruins tough guy Sean Thornton said in the New York Times on Christmas Day. The article was your basic "here's what hockey fighting is for those of you who don't know that it's part of the game and are probably outraged by it" type piece.

Pretty typical, but I appreciate the Times (who have an excellent hockey blog) giving me something worthwhile to read on Christmas morning.

Here's Shawn's quote, answering an assertion by NHL Director of Hockey Operations Colin Campbell that fighting is on the rise because the solidarity the players felt directly after the lockout had begun to fray, now that several years have passed:

“It’s a theory. But I’d fight my sister if it came down to it. I’m friends with some of the guys I throw the gloves down with. If I start thinking who’s on the other side, then I’m not playing the way I can.”

This is an easy statement to laugh at, but if Shawn is any indication, my guess is, his sister is probably a pretty tough girl. Speaking of tough girls, on the other side of Thornton tonight are Eric Staal and the Carolina Hurricanes. If Staal is anything like his brother Jordan, it might not be his face that Thornton needs to protect. Or maybe that's not as much a Staal problem as a Penguins problem.

What I wish Claude Julien is saying to Lou Lamoriello in the hallway of the Prudential Center right now.

2008-12-22T21:46:00.004-05:00

Oh- hey Lou!

You know, not much...coaching the number one team in the East, winning constantly, you remember- the kind of thing you fire guys for.

Best to Marty!

BRUINS WIN!

2008-11-18T20:55:00.000-05:00

Sweet fight near the end there, too.

Wow-

2008-11-05T09:08:00.002-05:00

Tough night for Scott Gomez.

A Horrifying Halloween Nightmare.

2008-10-30T12:35:00.002-04:00

WARNING!

NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.

This sends a deadly chill down my spine every time I see it.

TERRIFYING!

As a Bruins fan, the only thing that makes it kind of OK is that Michael Ryder is involved. (He hasn't scored 3 for the Bruins yet, to be sure, but it's a little early to pile on.)